Stubborn Anxiety

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Guest

Post by Guest » Tue May 27, 2008 10:49 am

Don, whether or not your parents MEANT to be abusive, you WERE abused... and you're left to deal with the consequences of that. It's like if someone shoots you by accident, they didn't MEAN to kill you but you're still as dead as if they meant to take your life. Having said that, it sounds like you have a good handle on things and have found what works for you, so keep doing what you're doing - you will overcome this.

Penu, thank you for your very kind words. Are you no longer agoraphobic at all? And what did you do during that year, if I may ask?

Guest

Post by Guest » Tue May 27, 2008 2:40 pm

I think that when I look at the 'stubborn' quality of my own anxiety it leads me to question some things.

In a weird way, I am now asking "How much more defeating does this anxiety need?" And when the anxiety is minimized or lessened what then? I'm supposed to live this tranquil life of peace and know that anxiety won't ever bother me again at least to the degree that it has reached before?

I've also noticed lately I'm questioning "what is normal?" I go through all this 'anxiety-slaying' for years on end and finally one day just wake up and forget to care about it? And if this is a process of healing my "inner child" or awakening, transforming or whatever- into what will this be? How much of your past do you "overcome" before you turn into this 'Eckhart Tolle- styled Power of Now' being whom nothing can upset or disturb? And if that is not the goal what is?

I read all these things here and I'm left more confused than ever.

Guest

Post by Guest » Tue May 27, 2008 5:21 pm

EMMAtophobia,

When I look back at that year- I was agoraphobic- I honestly can't believe I am where I am now.

It took everything I had just to go for a walk. It reqiured half a Lorazapam and lots of positive talk. My sisters would coach me through a car ride. They would tell that they would turn around if I got panicky. Boy I was lucky to have the love and support from family and friends.

I had a few friends in the medical field who gathered lots of material on anxiety,panic attacks,and depression. I also began a mission to educate myself in this and other related areas. After a considerable amount of research I put together my own form of therapy based on what I thought was working for me. At this point I was seeing a therapist as well however, it was just not working for me.

I was exhausted and panicky most of the time. Before all of this happened I weighed 128lbs when the anxiety hit I weighed 102lbs. Slowly,very slowly I improved. I practiced everything I learned. Eventually I ventured out farther,ate in a resturant,went for longer car rides. At anytime something positive would happen I would tell myself how great I did,not just once,over and over and over again. I became my biggest cheerleader and my own best friend,actually that year I began to love myself.

That was about 8 years ago. Yes I still get anxiety. The difference is I never let it take over me. I believe I have restructured my thought process-because I have practiced it for so long,It's automatic. I try not to dwell on anything to long,it only brings on more anxiety.

I believe you have to treat yourself. Honestly the way the system is, your always passed on or referred to another doctor-dealing in this or that area. I'm amazed at how much they medicate people when NOT REQUIRED. Anyway that's a different subject. You're doing great!

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed May 28, 2008 2:00 am

Sparkus, I'm seriously considering putting my inner child up for adoption - let someone else deal with the little brat! :D

But seriously... I think the goal is to reach a point where the anxiety/depression does not interfere with your quality of life. You're never going to be 100% anxiety-free, nobody is, unless they're dead. :p It's how we deal with life's stress that defines whether we're "sick" or "healthy". That's my understanding anyway.

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed May 28, 2008 2:07 am

Penu, your success gives me hope, so I thank you for taking the time to share your story with me! And boy do I ever understand "it took everything I had just to go for a walk". That's someone you can't really understand unless you live it.

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed May 28, 2008 3:03 am

This is a really relevant post. I agree with Emma in that nobody is ever going to be 100% free of anxiety...it is how we deal with it that matters.

Don, you have some excellent points in your post and I totally enjoyed reading it.

I am really noticing a big difference on this program by just switching the negative thinking into positive thinking and actions.

Good luck all.

Guest

Post by Guest » Sat May 31, 2008 2:32 pm

I do tend to be a highly analytical type of person. And my over-thinking leans me to pick things apart more than it is worth.

Part of what seems to drive me this way is my need for control over the future. This takes my focus off my present moment and continually sets me up for suffering over my "what-ifs". But lately, I have been so busy in my new job my focus has been more on the present moment out of necessity. And when I come home for the day sometimes I feel this sense of "ok now what can I start focusing on for the sake of tomorrow?" So, it's easy to fall back into the 'habit' again.

It is so interesting to me that all this anxiety stuff with the accompanying symptoms really IS built of thought. It really is only anxiety. And the only real control you have is to take control of your thoughts in the present moment. Acquiring more relaxed attitudes that make anxiety less a possibility seems exciting to me. Not everything about our lives has to be filtered through our "what-if" anxiety filters. Sounds easy, but is hard to do.

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