Bad anxiety and would need support
I too know what it is like to obsess over a man. But you said it yourself, these are only thoughts. That's the hardest part about anxiety is that most of it's ugly manifestations are not even real. How do you fight an imaginary enemy? You begin by controlling the thoughts it provokes. You need to get out that stop sign of yours and use it as soon as you feel a thought popping up about how inadequate you feel. You have to stop this line of thinking and you need to be aggressive with your thoughts. Shout at them if you have to. Trust me, if you do not get ahold of the insecurities you will lose him anyway. So do this for yourself and for the love of your life. Good luck.