Confined in this area,
For so long I couldn't breathe,
Too scared to be alone,
Too embarrassed to be seen.
Disregarding my instincts surely took its toll,
As I blindly played a contestant in his evil game,
And became engulfed in a deep black hole,
Was ruining everything about me part of his goal?
Delusional from being controlled,
Manipulated into believing I was to blame,
I wasn't even aware that all the while, he had already removed me from the image in his frame.
Convinced that I was no longer worth the value of my own being,
I succumbed to the panic, immense anxiety and fear,
As he went about his life and left me alone grieving,
I don't think he shed one single tear.
Distraught by the condition that was bestowed upon me,
I didn't think I was going to survive,
I went days without showering, eating or sleeping,
And some nights I wondered if I was even dead or alive.
They say "time heals everything" -
And trust me they do not lie,
Because after months of misery,
I didn't always feel the need to cry.
I am so thankful to those who helped me through,
And let go of the grudge for those who pretended not to have a clue,
I treasure my life and all that I have been given,
Every day is a new day so stretch, thank God and pray because it's time to start living.
