Finally facing my fears

Daisie122 · Post by **Daisie122** » Mon Dec 29, 2008 2:07 pm

To say I have a stubborn streak is the understatemet of the year. I have had the program for almost two years now but have yet to finish it once. I have finally realized that I am the only thing holding me back from getting better. At times I am able to get through my day with little fear or anxiety and then it all seems to hit me like a ton of bricks. Now I am even having trouble going to the grocery store alone. Something that terrifies me and has shown me that I do have a problem and I do need help. I am the type of person that thinks they have solve any problem on their own but I have come to realize that is simply not the case. I have finally begun to open up to my closest friends about my anxiety and it feels good to let them in. It also feels scary because I can no longer avoid the topic. Avoidance used to be one of my biggest tools and now I have gotten rid of it. I guess more than anything I am writing here today to make it clear to myself that I have this disease. It is a real thing and I have to take control over my own recovery if I want to get better. I often read posts on this site but have always hesitated actually writing something myself. I guess this is one fear I have overcome. The fear of admitting I have a problem. Only a thousand more to go

hopehound · Post by **hopehound** » Mon Dec 29, 2008 2:24 pm

Good for you, Daisie122! I've found in my own journey that acknowledgement of the disorder is a big obstacle to face! And try to remember that the "obstacle" of our fears is only as big as we allow it to be...I'm practicing the "do it anyway" theory...that is, I may feel anxious to face what I've been avoiding but I do it anyway. Guess what, it never ends up being as scarey as I may've thought it would be! I'm actually quite proud of my progress and I trust that you too will be in very short time! Wishing you much happiness as you conquer this disorder...good health & happiness in the new year!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 29, 2008 2:25 pm

Congratulations! What's your next move? Cheering you on, pinkee

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 02, 2009 7:38 am

Thanks for all of the words of encouragement and support. I am finding that admitting I have a problem is causing a lot more anxiety that I expected. I feel like everything I have denied feeling before just to get through the day is suddenly right at the surface. My anxiety has really taken control of my everyday life and that is very scary but I also know that it is expected and means that I am on the right track. I knew that my journey to recovery would be hard but I never imagined all that I would go through to find happiness again.