Question about anger

Ethans Mommy! · Post by **Ethans Mommy!** » Wed Oct 29, 2008 4:14 am

This past weekend I was arguing with my boyfriend over not spending enough time with my son and I. Every Saturday night he like to go to his familys house and play poker until the wee hours of the morning. I on the other hand have a 5 month old to take care of and can't just stay up all hours of the night. He is rude to me all the time for no apparent reason, yet I love him to death and couldn't see myself without him. I also can't see myself with him if the rudeness continues. For the past 4 days though I have been thinking negatively toward him. I haven't said anything but I have sat down with him and told him exactly how I feel and he doesn't take me seriously. I am concerned that I am making a big deal out of nothing and that it is all me. I have others that see the way he can be but I still think that its me. I am worried that I have some kind of personality disorder or something because I feel like I am ANGRY all the time lately. I am emotional as well. Does anyone ever feel this way?

ali04 · Post by **ali04** » Wed Oct 29, 2008 4:28 am

HI ETHANS MOMMY!! I CAN RELATE TO WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH AS WELL. I AM BEGINNING TO THINK SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME BECAUSE I LET EVERYTHING WORRY AND EFFECT ME. MY SISTER TOLD OVER THE WEEKEND AT THE WEDDING I ATTENDED THAT I BET STOP TAKING EVERYTHING TO HEART BECAUSE IT IS NOT GOOD. I REALIZE THAT AND HAVE THE PROGRAM AND AM TRYING BUT STRUGGLING WITH THE NEGATIVE THINKING. I ALSO HAVE SOCIAL ANXIETY AND IN LARGE CROWDS ALWAYS FEEL OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU GET ANY GOOD INFO OR ADVICE. I AM ANGRY AND EMOTIONAL ALOT AND CRY VERY EASY. I AM STILL WORKING THE PROGRAM. HAVE YOU READ THE BOOD WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU TALK TO YOURSELF, IT WAS RECOMMENDED ON HERE AND I JUST STARTED READING IT. GOOD LUCK AND KEEP WITH THE PROGRAM. THERE HAS TO BE LIGHT AT THE END OF OUR TUNNEL. HAVE A GREAT DAY!!

Ethans Mommy! · Post by **Ethans Mommy!** » Wed Oct 29, 2008 4:45 am

Thank you so much for replying. I take everything to heart as well and I cry VERY easily. My boyfriend in turn teases me because he says its like having two 5 month olds in the house. Its kinda funny but it makes me more upset. I am a very caring and soft hearted person though and lately I have been so angry and I don't like it because I don't feel like myself. I will just try to work hard and at the same time stand up for myself. There definately has to be some light at the end of the tunnel!!!

Jazzy1 · Post by **Jazzy1** » Wed Oct 29, 2008 5:02 am

Hi ladies! Wow! I can totally relate to the both of you. I always feel like my husband isn't giving me enough attention. And I get so angry over the stupidist things. I feel like I'm always angry. I truely feel like my blood is boiling....if that makes sense. I feel like I'm trying to find things to be mad at.....I hate it I don't know how to make it stop.... And last night I cried cause my husband wanted to go to bed early...so I can relate to crying easy....I've been an emotional wreck....Am I crazy........sometime I think a straight jacket is my only option....j/k

. Maybe we could find some answers together.

Ethans Mommy! · Post by **Ethans Mommy!** » Wed Oct 29, 2008 5:21 am

Well, I sometimes think it is me being selfish as well because I don't like to be alone and when I am having the lightheadedness and the all to wonderful anxiety symptoms I especially don't like being alone. So I tie that into it. Sometimes I just want to talk and he says that he has nothing to say to me. Well, I like to talk to try and distract myself of the anxiety and so I call someone and then he gets pissed because I am on the phone and he can't hear the TV or whatever. Its so childish!! I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. Does anyone know how I can possibly get through this and feel better about my relationship?? Please.

monty'smom · Post by **monty'smom** » Wed Oct 29, 2008 5:27 am

Hi Ethans Mommy and ali04,

I can so relate to the anger as well as the social anxiety, being very easily hurt by others and truly dislike all these feelings when they take over my life. I had lived like this most of my life and having had days, weeks and now even months of these feelings decreasing find that when they resurface as they have off and on due to my thought processes being negative or just from feeling totally stressed out by issues I have been going through with my family and 2 of my rescue fur babeies that I feel even more anger towards myself for allowing this to happen again and again. I guess I felt I finally had a grip on my life for 4 months and when things go wrong as they tend to do frequently lately I just can't stand to feel absorbed by the anger and depression anymore. I have to really talk back to myself and fight so hard to pull myself back to reality of " it's my way of thinking " making me unhappy and only I can control my negative and positive ways of seeing what is going on and chosing how it will affect me each and every minute of the days. I know in my heart and mind that I can't control what is happening in my childrens lives or control anyone or anything but myself and how I react to the enviroment around me or the choices others make or how others behave in the outside world or those in my life. It's so difficult for me and I know it's because of how I thought and felt about everything for so many years and don't want to have those feelings anymore. I know how great it feels to not let negativity into my mind and look forward to getting up each morning and laughing again and feeling light hearted and enjoy day to day life. I think for myself and likely many others on this program that it's one of the hardest obstacles to overcome...negative thoughts about ourselves and others actions towards us or around us but if we give in to these thoughts than it's us who really suffers...not others. We have to keep believing that we are good, caring, strong people and are worthy of feelings of love, joy, peace, laughter, respect from ourselves and others and we need to really demand all this from ourselves and in turn I believe it will filter into all other aspects of our lives. I have spent the past few weeks thinking a lot about life and why some seem to be so happy each and every day and wanting that for me so badly and figuring out that we are what we think of ourselves and what we feel we deserve out of life. I deserve all that is great and so do you....everyone deserves to be happy from the inside out and need to keep telling ourselves that throughout each day and not settle for less.

I BELIEVE WE CAN ALL OVERCOME ALL THAT MAKES US FEEL BADLY IF WE CAN JUST LOVE OURSELVES ENOUGH TO STOP ALLOWING OUR SELF ABUSES.

THIS IS MY WISH FOR EVERYONE DOING THIS PROGRAM..

HAVE A BLESSED DAY, BE KIND TO YOURSELVES AND OTHERS WILL FOLLOW.

Jazzy1 · Post by **Jazzy1** » Wed Oct 29, 2008 5:52 am

Ethans Mommy,

I can relate to feeling selfish. I hate to be alone. And my husband is gone a lot due to his job and I get mad cause he has to work. How dumb is that....he has to make money or we can't live.....I feel so stupid after I climb off of my horse and look at what I was saying or doing. I feel as if our attitudes bring out negativity in the ones we love. I feel they don't know how to deal with all we put them through so in turn they act negatively.....so if we change ourselves...they will follow...its just figuring out how to change ourselves......