Ironies, lots of ironies yesterday and today.
Yesterday I got a call from a company for an in-person interview for a sales gig. It will be Tuesday afternoon. I had a brief interview with a recruiter over a week ago and got the sense it wouldn't go anywhere. I had been repeatedly rejected online by this company since last year. Now I get an interview! Plus this company was bought a few years ago by the company that rejected me earlier this week!
I had a phone interview yesterday with a recruiter for a different company. I also felt this would go in the Loss column. My main basis for this was her last question. She asked me if I knew a type of software. My other phone was ringing and my mind was on trying to mute it. I asked her to repeat the question, and I still didn't know what she was saying because of the ringing and my muting attempt. So I just answered no. She asked, "No?" sounding to me like she was in disbelief. I responded that I never used the software.
The tone of her voice when she was wrapping up the interview also led me to believe I would get rejected (again.) Lo and behold this morning, this recruiter called to say she wanted to set me up for a phone interview with the sales manager!

! The interview is for Monday afternoon.
I have had interviews this year where I felt it was good and I would go to the next interview level because I felt good with the first interviewer, they complimented me, we laughed, and it was just a pleasant conversation. All of this have resulted in rejections. Now these two interviews are ones I would classify as non successful, have in fact been successful--one with a company that continuously rejected me earlier this year and their parent company just passed on me! I also didn't send "thank you" letters to these recruiter because I felt the interviews were crappy and lead nowhere. All the other non-successful interviews I sent thank you letters.
When the recruiter called this morning I did not answer the phone. I do not want it to appear I am home doing nothing. I wasn't doing nothing; I was having breakfast.

. I waited an hour before I called her back. During the wait, I had a thought flash in mind: "You don't deserve this." It reminded me of the flash thought I had at my brother-in-law's this weekend: "I hate myself for not having saved when I was younger" (because then I wouldn't be in the financial mess I am in.) The rest of this morning's thought was "Could it be she's calling back to green-light the next interview? Nah, it can't be. I don't deserve it. It'll probably be another rejection."
I spent so much of my late 20s thru 30s improving my self-image and self-esteem. I didn't think I still had any of these "trolls" still around.