Had a job interview now beating myself up

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pearpickinporky
Posts: 102
Joined: Sat Aug 25, 2007 9:30 am

Post by pearpickinporky » Tue Sep 15, 2009 6:29 am

I decided I need to change jobs, My current job is the main cause of my depression and probably my anxiety, I have been applying for months with not as much as an interview, finally got an interview today. I showed up the receptionist told me to go to the office, knocked and went in only to discover they were in the middle of interviewing someone else, they asked me to go outside :( So that was a bad start.

Then my chance came, in I went, they asked me did I read the job discription and turned the monitor screen around, there was loads of experience etc required that I don't have and the job center failed to list, so I apologised for wasting there time and got up to leave, but they wanted me to contiune the interview but I knew it was over.

But I;ve been beating myself up ever since, Someone once said

“A coward dies a thousand deaths... a soldier dies but once.”

Well I went to the interview and I should be happy with that as I was anxious all morning thinking about it but I keep running over it and over it, I feel so embarrased and I am dieing 1000 deaths and full of negative thoughts like

"Who was I kidding that I thought I could ever get a good job like that"

Guest

Post by Guest » Tue Sep 15, 2009 8:01 am

Hi,

I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I just want to say, that although the quote about the coward dying a thousand deaths may be a vivid way to describe your feelings, it may also being adding pain to your situation to keep saying it to yourself. Not all quotes are good quotes, and that seems a little verbally abusive to me. The job interview wasn't a life or death situation, and you are not a coward because you went to the interview and took a chance! That's the opposite of being a coward by a long shot:).

Also, I am someone who employs caregivers for my son with autism. I have a rigorous interview process where the candidate is expected to read a website. Now, I have added that the candidate take a short quiz about the information, and then fill out an online application. I added the quiz because a few weeks ago, I interviewed someone and asked her repeatedly if she had read the website and told her how important it was to read it. She kept saying she did each time, and then I got to a specific question at the interview, and she admitted that she skimmed parts of the site and barely read it. At first it appeared to be an honest mistake(a good employer will be O.K. with honest mistakes), but then when I looked at the site with her there, the directions were clear, and not to mention I asked her several times before she admitted the truth.

So, what's my point in telling you this? Her not being honest from the beginning was what made me eliminate her. Honesty about mistakes is really important in working with my son, and I expect mistakes, but not dishonesty about them. You were honest, and it wasn't even your fault, and if this position is one worth having, the employer will be happy that you were honest about not having known all of the requirements. If you didn't meet the requirements for the position, please do not take that personally. You just never know how it's going to work out. I, especially, know that now from being an actual employer. I don't think a knock on a door ruined your chances, and if it did, then you really don't want to work there because it will be just as depressing as where you are now.

As an interview candidate, I know one time I applied for a job where I had to take a test. It was at a time where my counselor acted like being employed outside the home would be the answer to all my problems(it wasn't.) Well, I took the test and never got a call for an interview. My counselor said that I had sabotaged it because I wasn't prepared for the test. A few months later, I got a call where I was offered the position with barely an interview. I said, "Oh, I thought I didn't do well on the test!", and the employer told me I had a very high score on the test. If time passes, and you don't hear from the employer, you can always call and ask them to tell you some of your strengths and weaknesses as a learning experience. Oh, I also eventually got another job one time, where I was told after the fact that I had the best interview skills of any candidate they'd ever had. However, I wasn't give the job initially because they thought someone else would be more likely to stay permanently. Another part time temp. position came open, and they gave it to me, and then that person that they thought would be more permanent quit, and they offered me the original position(I didn't take it though for personal reasons regarding my son, and in the end it worked out better for me.) So, you just never know is my point!:)

Sorry to go on, but I think too much emphasis is put on performing perfectly at an interview, so much so, that it ends up being the interviewee "acting" to get the position that can end up not being a good fit and the employer acting to get the position filled. I think candidates and employers should be more honest about what they really have to offer, and that that works out better in the long run.

It's O.K. to have hope for the interview and job, and also to keep looking and taking chances if it doesn't work out. You aren't a coward. You are a success:)!

Take care,
luvpiggy

Guest

Post by Guest » Tue Sep 15, 2009 10:21 am

I'm new to this program today was my first day. I beat myself up about everything and have for 30 years now. So I know how you feel. I'm sorry that your interview didn't go as well as you hoped, please don't beat yourself up anymore. Theres other jobs and maybe God has it planned for something better to come along.

Guest

Post by Guest » Tue Sep 15, 2009 11:19 am

Just remember that it is always worse in your head than the actual situation. And it gets worse and worse the more you think about it, but only to you. It wasn't nearly as bad as you remembered, and our minds can really mess us up and make mountains of molehills.

The great thing that happened was this: You did it!

You went to the interview, you talked to someone.

You learned what you could do a little differently for the next one.

Remember the old saying, that there were 4000 mistakes before the lightbulb was invented. Who's the coward now? How could a coward invent a lightbulb?

It's the ones who keep trying over and over again who succeed, nobody does it the first time.

You went to that interview and should be very proud of yourself. Don't let it discourage you. Let it empower you and make you want to beat your score for the next one.

Remember, you only move up from here.

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Sep 16, 2009 12:31 am

Hey Pear -

It sounds to me like you should be beating up on the moron at the job center who didn't' give you all the information. If they didn't give you all the information you needed and also sent you in for an interview for a position that you weren't qualified for, that's on them, not you.

It's easy to get discouraged when you're interviewing for a new job. Don't let this be something that holds you back.

Hugs,

Christian

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Sep 16, 2009 4:03 am

Thanks for all the advice, I feel a bit better today, I have picked up a few tips on how I can improve myself at the next interview at least

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