Mother-guilt

P&P · Post by **P&P** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:21 am

My mother is the queen of guilt and it's really starting to get to me. She woke me up early this morning to ask if I could drive my grandfather over to the hospital to see my grandmother, no problem! And then she was like "and then afterwards you'll come over for dinner." Didn't even ask, just basically told me I was coming for dinner. Well, I had dinner with them last weekend and I just wanted the night to myself. I do enjoy visiting with my mom and stepdad but some weekends I just want to spend time by myself. So she called me back this afternoon and I said, sorry mom, I just want to stay home and work on some resumes and applications (which was the truth) Well she laid the guilt on thick! Acting all hurt and disappointed. It just made me so angry that she does this to me. Then i told her that my grandfather wanted to go for dinner with me and suddenly she was okay with that. But I feel like she should be okay with it wether I want to stay home alone or I want to have dinner with my grandfather.
I find my relationship with my mom has always been somewhat strained and this certainly doesn't help.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 1:49 pm

I say good for you! It sure sounds like you're doing just what you need to in order to stand firm. Relationships are not always what we hope they will be, but there's always the possibility that they can get healthier!
Good job!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 3:20 pm

Thanks KDLady! It's really exhausting dealing with her. She was gone for a year traveling and I have to say my relationship with her was better through emails and such, than when she's here. And I think because she was gone for a year, she wants to spend even more time with my siblings and I. Where as, I just moved out this past December and I'm just trying to learn how to be independent and on my own, away from the nest.