Thoughts about mom

Jlbjea · Post by **Jlbjea** » Sun Aug 02, 2009 12:02 pm

Hi There -

My mother has a strong personality. Sometimes she can be a little harsh in her opinions. I remember things she said to me as a child and I run them over and over in my mind. I have spoken to her about this and felt good about it. But I still run things over in my mind. I have heard of relationship ocd which pertains to husband/wife, etc. But I was wondering since I have ocd am I doing the same thing by just concentrating on the aspects of her personality that I don't like? It's like I find things to make myself miserable about...Any thoughts!

clearsky27 · Post by **clearsky27** » Mon Aug 10, 2009 1:43 am

I get relationship ocd with my fiance. I find comfort in that by realizing I used to do the same thing with my mother. I always seem to focus on those closest to me and the most important. OCD always attacks the things and people that mean the most to you. I had the ocd with my mother when I was a kid. I would randomly think oh my God I hate my mother and I didnt and it would drive me crazy thinking it because I didnt mean it and it made me so upset. In my experience if you question it over and over and over (see the patern) you can chalk it up to ocd. You dont do it with everything else in your life. You felt good about talking to your mother about your feelings and if your ready to you should move on from things she said to you as a child. All that you are doing is holding on to the past. It seems that because you are holding on to the past you feel guilty? This is another large part of ocd. I wouldnt worry about it. you obvioulsy are upset about it and dont want to think this way. SO when you get the thought just say to yourself. STOP> I dont want to think this, I have went over it already, it upsets me and I will chose what I will and will not give a reaction to. Chose not to react to it because if you do react to it you are going to get upset about it and will be at the same place you aleady were. Hope this helps and I didnt go off topic too much!

Jlbjea · Post by **Jlbjea** » Thu Aug 27, 2009 7:13 am

Thanks so much for your reply. It means a lot knowing someone else has gone through this too!

Shifrah · Post by **Shifrah** » Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:03 am

Jlbjea I think if she makes this up to you by your having a good relationship with her may help to erase the OCD you are having. If you are located close to her, I suggest spending extra time with her so she can 'make up' for the lost time you had together.

Also I don't know if you have kids, but I think if I didn't I might hang on to some parental OCD myself. But now that I know how it feels to be a parent, I can sometimes understand things, although no excuse for verbal abuse, I can attempt to turn it around for the better.