Wrong Diagnosis?

[cleo09]

Hello everyone I am venturing into this program with both feet as it were and have been wrestling with my "Diagnosis" for some time.

I was 18 when I was termed Manic Depressive and at the time it seemed to fit as I was already self medicating with all kinds of drugs and alcohol. One thing led to another abusive relationship, dealing with my sexuality, death of my Grandmother, etc.

So I took all kinds of medications, got on SSI for Permanent disability, have never worked a day in my life, no social skills and currently live with my Mother!

But I have never agreed completely with my diagnosis and now I fear they wont take me seriously when wanting to get off the med's I'm on now. I'm currently taking Celexa 20mg Lamitcal 75mg and Abilify 15mg.

The reason I went for treatment many years ago was rage, uncontrollable rage, which when drinking I would fight, vandalize and sometimes be promiscuous.

You might all say, "Talk to your doctor" but alas I do not have one. I recently changed counties and the insurance I had doesn't cover it here. So what's a girl to do?

I ordered this program for panic with my agoraphobia, I can try to get help where I currently live but do I really want to reinforce the "label" of manic depressive? Especially when I want nothing more than to be medication free? I'm not depressed nor suicidal but I can't leave the house to check the mail.

Any advice will be appreciated but please refrain from saying see your doc, as I don't have one. I'm taking med's that I got refilled from a clinic with a 3 month refill and when they run out who knows.

Kate