cant seem to accept the passing of my son

angela chriss · Post by **angela chriss** » Thu Jul 30, 2009 8:55 pm

last nov 2008 i lost my son at 5months along. and i dealt with the pain, or at least i thought i had. grieved, cried, swore.. u name it. but by the time his due date came around april 2009.. i started bringing on anxiety.. and by mothers day. i was a mess. i didnt realize im depressed. everyone has pointed it out. not full of life.. just feels like im cruising with anxiety, not excited, u name it. its distracting. depression brought on my anxiety i feel. this is my second time on the program, and before my sons passing i would be ok, turning off my anxiety when it came, now those things dont work so easy. its so much harder now.
my question is?
can anyone relate to my feelings. and how to cope and accept god's reasonings..

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jul 31, 2009 2:27 pm

I have not been through this- so it would be
shallow for me to tell you that I know the right things to say to make you feel better. I can say however, that it is totally understandable that you can't accept this. I know when I was pregnant I lived in constant fear that I would lose the baby- especially that far along.

I am so sorry that you are going through this, and I wish there were something I could do to help you feel better.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 02, 2009 1:16 am

Angela,
I have had losses of people close to me lately, but I can't imagine the pain you must feel. Sometimes we feel guilty when we try to move on, as though we will forget the person we lost. Remember that the loss of a loved one is number one on the stress hit parade, and that no one can tell you when you're done grieving. Eventually you will find your way back to life.

You are so strong to be back in the program and attacking your anxieties again. I believe that we are reunited with our loved ones when we pass on, so live your life as best you can and think of how wonderful that reunion will be. Sometimes that's the only way for me to go on.

Leslie

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 02, 2009 10:21 pm

i guess it must have been meant for me to see your request... i tried to go into general chat but it is down for now.. i will tell u a story of my life.. and how i overcame.. and am still living.. i have lost 2 sons in birth.. one by premature birth and one by caring for 8months.. saw him through surgery just to have him slip away.. and me having to except 'GOD'S REASONING'.. didnt work for me for a longtime.. that explaination.. the condolences and the 'its gonna be ok' .. but i had to bring myself up .. ihad to know that it was for a reason... i would have 4 children at the age of 39 but i have 1 healthy girl.. who fulfills my life with laughter and joy everyday...i feel your sorry and your pain and nothing can take that away until u are ready to start living again and knowing that there is a better tommorow...there is always another day and when u wake up u have to decide to live or to let your sorrow eat u up inside.. be brave my sister.. be understanding.. that it was not the right time.. and your time will come.. it did for me..love ya in christ... and i will pray for your happiness.. cause u deserve it..!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Sep 06, 2009 4:22 am

I almost lost my son in 2005 from a shooting he survived by barely a hair I know the pain it caused me and the anger I went through and I even blamed myself at times but I realized now and understand that things happen for reasons we cannot explain. I can only imagine what you are going through but just know that you have an angel who will always be there with you and know that God is taken care of your little angel. You will heal. When? only time will tell. Just remember your baby is with all your loved ones that have past and is well taken care of. You did nothing wrong. I will pray for you to heal and come to peace with yourself soon. Sorry for your lost.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Oct 29, 2009 1:30 pm

I am new to this program. I know the feeling of the loss of a son. 24 years ago I had a misscarriage around Thanksgiving. To this day I still seem a little sad around that time of year. 5 years ago My 14 and 17 year old sons were in an auto accident coming home from school. The accident was less than 1/8 mile from my home. I was the first person to arrive at the accident. My 17 year old son was physically fine, but that wasn't the case for my younger son. I eased him out of the car and held him as he passed away. I only existed for the next 3-4 years. I went into a terrible dark depresssion. I attempted suicide twice. I really thought my other children and my husband would be better off without me. I began to heal when I changed my thought processes. I used to dwell on what I would never have, and what my son would never experience in life, what I wouldn't experience with him and what we all lost. Now I concentrate on the fact that yes my son died but he also LIVED for 14 years. I relive the good memories of my son. He loved me and I love him. I got to have this wonderful, goofy, intellengent,cute little boy. God just let me have him here on earth for a little while but he will live in my heart mind and soul forever. I have to continually keep this frame of mind or I will lose my mind. I am much happier this way and I enjoy Andy's memories now instead of crying every time I hear his name.
I know this isn't easy. Take the time you need to grieve.