Where did SHE go and how can I get HER back

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 3:17 am

Thanks nana. I have read your story. You are doing fantastic - WTG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's funny (well scary actually) what we say to ourselves. I wouldn't dare to ever tell anyone else they are a bad mom...can't do something...are a failure etc.... so I'm not going to say such aweful things to myself anymore. The power of positive thinking and surrounding yourself with other positive minded people has a great effect on how we feel.

I had a really bad childhood and never felt comfortable in my own skin so no surprise that I ended up so anxiety stricken that i couldn't function. The trouble is that while my extended family can't beat me up and abuse me mentally anymore...I am been doing it to myself and telling myself the same daming messages they always told me. No More !!!!! I have a new family and a new life waiting on me. This is certainly not the life God intended for me...he didnt give me 3 beautiful healthy children so we can sit in and be afraid to go anywhere and see the world he created for our enjoyment.

I wanted to hit the lake today but we had some rain this am so I'm not sure what the day brings but I'd like to find something to do that takes me out of my comfort zone and I can add something else to my list of tiny accomplishments.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 3:38 am

Nana,
Can you tell me how you got this far? I still have so many symptoms that it feels like it is holding me back from recovering. I still start to feel panicy when I leave work, knowing that I have to pick up my daughter and we will be at home alone for and hour or two before my husband gets home. I know it sounds crazy, why am I so afraid of being home alone. Can you give any advice?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 3:49 am

ohstra - nice to meet you. I am copying nanas thread here so you can read it while you wait for her reply. Very inspiring...she has done very well. I wish you much success on your road to recovery. i didnt get anxious at home unless we were having company so I have no advice for you but I am sure some one will come in and give you some advice.

http://bbs.stresscenter.com/ev...40105472/m/446109462

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:34 am

Alipal,
Thank you for your reply. I think my story is a little different from most. I had never had a panic attack until well into my anxiety disorder. I had been stressing about my daughter starting the terrible two's. I started doubting my ability as a mother, etc...the next thing I new, I woke one morning with racing thoughts and shaking. I had thoughts that I would never be able to deal with my daughter, almost like I was scared of her, (I know, stupid, huh!) Anyway, because of this feeling, I let my mind wonder and my anxiety became worse, I thought I had a brain tumor, something wrong with my heart, I was going insane, etc...and because I was scaring myself in this way, I got much worse. I started having panic attacks, where my heart would beat fast, my arms would tingle/burn, feelings of detachment from the world, blurred vision/dim feeling, etc...I have been working through this program and have overcome the panic attacks, however,I am left with blurred vision, crying spells and everything looks dim. Where as many of you know what panic attacks bring on, I had no idea so I scared myself even worse, now I am in an entrinched anxiety disorder which I heard could take months to come out of. Any advice?

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 6:53 am

I purchased a driving tape by Carolyn from the program, which has helped immensely. I can now drive over bridges no problem. Mine was really severe and it helped. You might want to check it out. Call the program for more info ($21.99).

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 7:21 am

Wow good stuff going on! Thanks Lucie for the driving suggestion.
Ali..yay!
I have been yucking it up in the chat rooms. I am so excited to see how we are stretching ourselves..woohoo!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 9:20 am

Thats great info Lucie Thanks. I had not heard of it before.

Ohstra - I find it so sad how many of us had these syptoms come on after we had a daughter and started to doubt our ability to raise them. There are a lot of us who have had this happen so NO it's not stupid and neither are you. I didnt realize that anxiety could leave so many lingering physical symptoms. Im sorry your vision has been impaired by it. I'm not far enough along to give out too much advice but can tell you that changing my diet and baby stepping my way back has been working great for me. Just like I talked myself into not being able to do things...I am now doing the reverse and rebuilding my life. I try to step out of my comfort zone just enough to feel a little fear every day and then I deal with it and move on. I'm getting really good with calming myself down...though for some reason I can't do the breathing while driving...I always screw it up...but thats OK. I am still trying. I may not be doing it perfectly but I am doing things I haven't done in years.

I did the lake today

We had a great time. I'm sure we will do it again. Had a little anxiety but I got over it and had a great time. Now for the sand clean up lol...sand everywhere.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 9:41 am

Hello everyone....I am new here.....Invited by my bestes friend "Alipal"

I look forward to getting to know everyone!! :p

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 9:53 am

hi, its my 4th day with the program, and like my anger and depression, its a rollercoaster ride, up and down. within 2 years ive practiced 4 religions, thinking god gave up on me. ive even felt cursed at times, always thinking the world and everyone in it is against me. i dont want this misery anymore, for me and my family.i just wanted to post something, my name is Robert, and im glad to be here. keep posting.when the tapes get so so to me, this seems to help. i hope in the future, i can post something to help someone too.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 11:20 am

Hi Robert Nice to meet you. Glad you decided to post. You can do it....Just keep looking forward at where you are going and the good times ahead of you.

Welcome Lesia - YAY My bestest friend found the trail of bread crumbs I left her and she made it here

You are doing sooo good girl. Congrats on your drive today.