Hi,
I went through the program last fall/winter and felt like it really helped me. I have listened to the tapes regularly since then as well. I just had surgery 3 weeks ago and during the recovery period I have been having a lot of anxiety. I have to avoid lifting anything over ten pounds and I keep getting in situations where I feel I may have done something (opening a heavy door, etc.) to compromise the surgery. My husband tells me that I haven't done anything that would do that but I have a hard time believing him so I know that I am getting irrational. I am feeling like I should just stay home and not go out because I can't seem to cope. After an "incident" I get panic attacks and become unfunctional. I try to think of my skills but nothing seems to be working. Help.
anxiety after program completion
-
Guest
Hi,
What's standing out to me from what you've posted is that you really have to give yourself a lot of room after just having surgery and please don't use it as a time to judge yourself or be harsh regarding anxiety.
Our body produces its own tranquilizers that are meant to help us cope with pain. During times of extreme stress and pain, such as surgery, our body will use all of its tranquilizers to deal with the emergency situation. So, right now, not only do you need to give your body time to heal from the surgery, your brain needs time to replenish its natural tranquilizers. That's why you feel like you aren't coping well because every little thing is causing you stress because of tranquilizer depletion. You can help your brain by first of all understanding what is really going on, and also by doing enjoyable and calming and favorite activities that are acceptable during your recovery. For example, watching funny movies, reading a great book, and drinking soothing liquids and eating good healthy and comforting foods.
I'm not sure what your surgery was, but in modern times, we live on microwave time, and our bodies don't work like that. Just because HMO's want us out of the hospital as fast as possible, doesn't mean that our bodies don't need more time to mend and to heal. You are still in a recovery period.
This isn't said to scare you, but this is said to validate you. I remember several years ago having a friend who was as tough as nails, and she had little patience for my anxiety. She wasn't someone that I could go to with my fears, and she often said the wrong thing. However, after a minor medical procedure to treat endometriosis, her uterus severely collapsed, and she had to have a complete hysterectomy. I've never seen such a change in someone. The hormonal changes, and the trauma of having to have a hysterectomy in her twenties was just a drastic change in a short period of time. There were times when her panic was so severe that she felt like she couldn't hear. I'm not saying that she didn't get better, but I am saying that surgeries can be very traumatic and depending on what type of surgery it is, if you are a woman who has a surgery to deal with female issues, hormones and tranquilizer depletion can play a huge role in causing anxiety after surgery. When I saw that happen to her, I realized that surgery could do that anyone, so if you were vulnerable to anxiety before surgery, it should be expected that it would trigger a time of heightened anxiety.
Also, I want to point out another possibility that happened with me. I grew up an abused child, and I was only given attention when I was sick. I had my son eleven years ago, and I chose to have a fifteen hour labor with little drugs. I didn't know what an emotional impact being in the hospital and being taken care of with attention would have on me. It triggered a lot of deep seated emotions. After I left the hospital, there were times when I thought that something was wrong. I didn't mean to, but I missed the attention of being taken care of at the hospital. It was just so ingrained inside of me. Later on, I developed panic attacks, and for the first time, I started going to the hospital for them. I do think it was a combination of hormones and deep seated emotional trauma.
With all of that being said, doing the techniques from this program are still effective. You just need to realize that your body has just been in a major trauma with surgery, that your hormones may be out of whack and need time to readjust, that your brain has used up its tranquilizers in an effort to get you through the surgery, and that the surgery could have triggered some deep seated emotions that need to be acknowledged. I don't know if you have any stitches from your surgery, but I'm sure if you do, you can see them slowly healing. Your body is healing itself, but you may need to do wound care, etc. If you don't follow the instructions, you will hinder your wound from healing. It's the same with your emotions regarding the surgery as well. You need to give your emotions time to heal, but you can do some emotional wound care as well. Really get that this is a big deal, and three weeks really isn't a long time after a surgery to expect to be 100% physically or emotionally. Focus on activities that promote emotional healing by increasing your brain's natural tranquilizers, and give your body time to get rid of the adrenaline it's produced to get you through the ordeal. Please don't think you aren't doing well because you have just had a major stressor that you need to give yourself room and time to heal from.
Take care,
luvpiggy
What's standing out to me from what you've posted is that you really have to give yourself a lot of room after just having surgery and please don't use it as a time to judge yourself or be harsh regarding anxiety.
Our body produces its own tranquilizers that are meant to help us cope with pain. During times of extreme stress and pain, such as surgery, our body will use all of its tranquilizers to deal with the emergency situation. So, right now, not only do you need to give your body time to heal from the surgery, your brain needs time to replenish its natural tranquilizers. That's why you feel like you aren't coping well because every little thing is causing you stress because of tranquilizer depletion. You can help your brain by first of all understanding what is really going on, and also by doing enjoyable and calming and favorite activities that are acceptable during your recovery. For example, watching funny movies, reading a great book, and drinking soothing liquids and eating good healthy and comforting foods.
I'm not sure what your surgery was, but in modern times, we live on microwave time, and our bodies don't work like that. Just because HMO's want us out of the hospital as fast as possible, doesn't mean that our bodies don't need more time to mend and to heal. You are still in a recovery period.
This isn't said to scare you, but this is said to validate you. I remember several years ago having a friend who was as tough as nails, and she had little patience for my anxiety. She wasn't someone that I could go to with my fears, and she often said the wrong thing. However, after a minor medical procedure to treat endometriosis, her uterus severely collapsed, and she had to have a complete hysterectomy. I've never seen such a change in someone. The hormonal changes, and the trauma of having to have a hysterectomy in her twenties was just a drastic change in a short period of time. There were times when her panic was so severe that she felt like she couldn't hear. I'm not saying that she didn't get better, but I am saying that surgeries can be very traumatic and depending on what type of surgery it is, if you are a woman who has a surgery to deal with female issues, hormones and tranquilizer depletion can play a huge role in causing anxiety after surgery. When I saw that happen to her, I realized that surgery could do that anyone, so if you were vulnerable to anxiety before surgery, it should be expected that it would trigger a time of heightened anxiety.
Also, I want to point out another possibility that happened with me. I grew up an abused child, and I was only given attention when I was sick. I had my son eleven years ago, and I chose to have a fifteen hour labor with little drugs. I didn't know what an emotional impact being in the hospital and being taken care of with attention would have on me. It triggered a lot of deep seated emotions. After I left the hospital, there were times when I thought that something was wrong. I didn't mean to, but I missed the attention of being taken care of at the hospital. It was just so ingrained inside of me. Later on, I developed panic attacks, and for the first time, I started going to the hospital for them. I do think it was a combination of hormones and deep seated emotional trauma.
With all of that being said, doing the techniques from this program are still effective. You just need to realize that your body has just been in a major trauma with surgery, that your hormones may be out of whack and need time to readjust, that your brain has used up its tranquilizers in an effort to get you through the surgery, and that the surgery could have triggered some deep seated emotions that need to be acknowledged. I don't know if you have any stitches from your surgery, but I'm sure if you do, you can see them slowly healing. Your body is healing itself, but you may need to do wound care, etc. If you don't follow the instructions, you will hinder your wound from healing. It's the same with your emotions regarding the surgery as well. You need to give your emotions time to heal, but you can do some emotional wound care as well. Really get that this is a big deal, and three weeks really isn't a long time after a surgery to expect to be 100% physically or emotionally. Focus on activities that promote emotional healing by increasing your brain's natural tranquilizers, and give your body time to get rid of the adrenaline it's produced to get you through the ordeal. Please don't think you aren't doing well because you have just had a major stressor that you need to give yourself room and time to heal from.
Take care,
luvpiggy
-
Guest
Hi surfgirl:
Surgery is a major stress on your body, and I think this is a time to be very, very compassionate and patient with yourself. It is scary to think you might do something to compromise the surgery, but just realize that this is an obsessive thought. It sounds like you are in fact being very careful. Did you have anesthesia with your surgery? I have a friend who is a pharmacologist, and she said that for weeks after she had her gallbladder out laproscopically (so it was a pretty simple procedure), she felt depression and anxiety out of the blue for WEEKS afterward! That is a little known fact that anesthesia can cause that...it happened to my Dad too, so there may be a physical/chemical reason for what you are experiencing. And people with anxiety tend to be so much more sensitive. Give yourself time to get it out of your system, and get back on your feet. You can do it. Don't stay home...you CAN cope with this. So what if you have an incident and a panic attack? It's no big deal. It's not comfortable, but it is no big deal. You'll get past this.
Surgery is a major stress on your body, and I think this is a time to be very, very compassionate and patient with yourself. It is scary to think you might do something to compromise the surgery, but just realize that this is an obsessive thought. It sounds like you are in fact being very careful. Did you have anesthesia with your surgery? I have a friend who is a pharmacologist, and she said that for weeks after she had her gallbladder out laproscopically (so it was a pretty simple procedure), she felt depression and anxiety out of the blue for WEEKS afterward! That is a little known fact that anesthesia can cause that...it happened to my Dad too, so there may be a physical/chemical reason for what you are experiencing. And people with anxiety tend to be so much more sensitive. Give yourself time to get it out of your system, and get back on your feet. You can do it. Don't stay home...you CAN cope with this. So what if you have an incident and a panic attack? It's no big deal. It's not comfortable, but it is no big deal. You'll get past this.
-
Guest
Hello luvpiggy,
I am very thankful that I just read this post. I'll try to keep it short & I'll try not to overtake surfgirl's post.
I donated a kidney to my bro-in-law on June 14th, 2007 (2 years ago) I was in the hospital for 3 days, during that time my Uncle was admitted to the same hospital & 2 1/2 weeks later he passed away. I was very close to him & lived with him for a few years while I was in high school. Then 3 months later, my cousin's baby girl was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor.
My anxiety started about 4 months after the kidney surgery. I had so much attention from the whole town about donating the kidney that I could hardly stand it. People were greeting me, asking me how I was doing, telling me super nice things & how brave I was to be able to go thru with it, they were even sending cards with money in it! There were 3 articles in the paper about me - one was for donating, one was for a benefit dinner to raise money & one was by a lady saying that I should be considered an Angel. Now, don't get me wrong, all of this stuff was good & really nice...but I'm not one that wants or needs to be in the spotlight and I believe that the county-wide attention was a BIG part in what caused my anxiety/panic attacks (which I don't have panic anymore)
The other thing I truly believe is a major cause is that I did not & still do not know how to cope with my feelings & emotions - I had to be happy because the surgery went perfectly - yet, grieve & be sad at the same time because my Uncle passed away. He did not even know that I did well thru the surgery. Very, very mixed up for me.
After the surgery, I was not allowed to drive for 2-3weeks, I could not pick up my 2 smaller kids for 4-6 weeks (I could hug them, let them sit in my lap, etc... just could not fully pick them up off of the floor, bed, tub etc...) I just remember being like surfgirl & not allowed to do a whole lot.
Anyway, I do believe that our bodies are very sensitive to what we do to them. I'm wondering if the removal of the kidney has caused me to be 'off balance' within myself? I mean if pregnancy takes up to a year to balance out, then I'm wondering now how long a kidney removal can take?
Please don't send any scary information about what has happened to someone else....I am very sensitive & may start freaking out & I don't need that.
I often wonder why God would allow me to give life to another while taking someone so close to me. I know I should never question God or wonder why He allows things to happen a certain way, it's as if I don't trust that He knows what He's doing...but I really do, I just don't know how to deal with my human side.
Sorry this is SO long! Surfgirl if you have any advice or comments that might help, I'd appreciate them too.
I am very thankful that I just read this post. I'll try to keep it short & I'll try not to overtake surfgirl's post.
I donated a kidney to my bro-in-law on June 14th, 2007 (2 years ago) I was in the hospital for 3 days, during that time my Uncle was admitted to the same hospital & 2 1/2 weeks later he passed away. I was very close to him & lived with him for a few years while I was in high school. Then 3 months later, my cousin's baby girl was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor.
My anxiety started about 4 months after the kidney surgery. I had so much attention from the whole town about donating the kidney that I could hardly stand it. People were greeting me, asking me how I was doing, telling me super nice things & how brave I was to be able to go thru with it, they were even sending cards with money in it! There were 3 articles in the paper about me - one was for donating, one was for a benefit dinner to raise money & one was by a lady saying that I should be considered an Angel. Now, don't get me wrong, all of this stuff was good & really nice...but I'm not one that wants or needs to be in the spotlight and I believe that the county-wide attention was a BIG part in what caused my anxiety/panic attacks (which I don't have panic anymore)
The other thing I truly believe is a major cause is that I did not & still do not know how to cope with my feelings & emotions - I had to be happy because the surgery went perfectly - yet, grieve & be sad at the same time because my Uncle passed away. He did not even know that I did well thru the surgery. Very, very mixed up for me.
After the surgery, I was not allowed to drive for 2-3weeks, I could not pick up my 2 smaller kids for 4-6 weeks (I could hug them, let them sit in my lap, etc... just could not fully pick them up off of the floor, bed, tub etc...) I just remember being like surfgirl & not allowed to do a whole lot.
Anyway, I do believe that our bodies are very sensitive to what we do to them. I'm wondering if the removal of the kidney has caused me to be 'off balance' within myself? I mean if pregnancy takes up to a year to balance out, then I'm wondering now how long a kidney removal can take?
Please don't send any scary information about what has happened to someone else....I am very sensitive & may start freaking out & I don't need that.
I often wonder why God would allow me to give life to another while taking someone so close to me. I know I should never question God or wonder why He allows things to happen a certain way, it's as if I don't trust that He knows what He's doing...but I really do, I just don't know how to deal with my human side.
Sorry this is SO long! Surfgirl if you have any advice or comments that might help, I'd appreciate them too.
-
Guest
TNL,
You are always free to go to God with the truth of how you feel. There's no rule about questioning Him or asking "Why?" Actually asking "Why?" is a normal stage of grief. God desires that you come to Him honestly, and He longs to comfort you in your distress even if He doesn't provide the answers that you desire, but He will provide you with His love and presence. You went through more than most of us have went through in a life time, and I hate to see you feel that you can't be honest with God with how you feel about everything.
I don't think I have all of the answers, but the more my relationship with God grows in knowing that He loves me, the more I can accept that I will never understand everything. I'm not perfect at it by any means, and it does help me to know that I can be honest with God. I will never understand why my son has severe autism. Sometimes, I quit asking, and sometimes my mood changes, and I cry out to God, "Why?" I do see times where God uses it for good, and God promises to use all of our circumstances-the good and the bad-for good, but that doesn't mean that He caused those circumstances. Some people think that since God is all sovereign, that He is the cause of everything that happens. I'm one that believes differently. I believe because God loves us, He also allows us Free Will. That means that sometimes bad things happen that weren't God's doing or God's will. Why He intervenes miraculously at times to prevent tragedies and doesn't at others, will never be answered in this lifetime for any of us. He doesn't get mad if we ask Him "Why?" though. Sometimes, he may tell us some things, and sometimes He will lovingly answer, "My grace is sufficient for Thee" until the appropriate time in glory where we will all be eternally with those we love and feel no sorrow and not need to know why ever again. When I say that, I don't mean to be cliche or scary or make any one feel bad for wanting a good life in this world. I do think that God wants us to live in this world, do what we can to resolve things on this earth, and have a quality life in this world, and He wants to "let us see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."Psalm 27 It really helps me to know that He does want us to have a good life in this world, but it's definitely not free from sorrow as all of us very well understand.
Take care,
luvpiggy
You are always free to go to God with the truth of how you feel. There's no rule about questioning Him or asking "Why?" Actually asking "Why?" is a normal stage of grief. God desires that you come to Him honestly, and He longs to comfort you in your distress even if He doesn't provide the answers that you desire, but He will provide you with His love and presence. You went through more than most of us have went through in a life time, and I hate to see you feel that you can't be honest with God with how you feel about everything.
I don't think I have all of the answers, but the more my relationship with God grows in knowing that He loves me, the more I can accept that I will never understand everything. I'm not perfect at it by any means, and it does help me to know that I can be honest with God. I will never understand why my son has severe autism. Sometimes, I quit asking, and sometimes my mood changes, and I cry out to God, "Why?" I do see times where God uses it for good, and God promises to use all of our circumstances-the good and the bad-for good, but that doesn't mean that He caused those circumstances. Some people think that since God is all sovereign, that He is the cause of everything that happens. I'm one that believes differently. I believe because God loves us, He also allows us Free Will. That means that sometimes bad things happen that weren't God's doing or God's will. Why He intervenes miraculously at times to prevent tragedies and doesn't at others, will never be answered in this lifetime for any of us. He doesn't get mad if we ask Him "Why?" though. Sometimes, he may tell us some things, and sometimes He will lovingly answer, "My grace is sufficient for Thee" until the appropriate time in glory where we will all be eternally with those we love and feel no sorrow and not need to know why ever again. When I say that, I don't mean to be cliche or scary or make any one feel bad for wanting a good life in this world. I do think that God wants us to live in this world, do what we can to resolve things on this earth, and have a quality life in this world, and He wants to "let us see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."Psalm 27 It really helps me to know that He does want us to have a good life in this world, but it's definitely not free from sorrow as all of us very well understand.
Take care,
luvpiggy
-
Guest
Thank you luvpiggy for the response.
I'm not sure that you understood me in the above statement/paragraph. I do trust God & I do go to him with absolutely EVERYTHING in my life - good or bad. It's not that I don't, it's just that my human side doesn't understand everything & I know that none of us understand everything. I also know that God does not cause things to happen, however he allows it to happen - especially the bad sometimes - so that we will have reason to depend on him, he is a very loving God & never said this life would be easy.
"Shall we accept good grom God, and not trouble?" Job 2:10
Lord, let me never forget that in all things you send there is blessing....Every problem leading me to pray also leads me deeper into your presence, and every trial that takes me to my knees also brings me closer to your throne.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.
So, I guess I need to pray more for healing & a mindful acceptance of the situations that occured 2 years ago & then just let it go.
I've realized that I should be proud, joyful and greatful that the surgery went extremely well.
I've also realized that my Uncle knew I loved him & whether or not I was in surgery, at the beach, at home or where ever...he would've still died.
It's just hard, that's all.
I'm not sure that you understood me in the above statement/paragraph. I do trust God & I do go to him with absolutely EVERYTHING in my life - good or bad. It's not that I don't, it's just that my human side doesn't understand everything & I know that none of us understand everything. I also know that God does not cause things to happen, however he allows it to happen - especially the bad sometimes - so that we will have reason to depend on him, he is a very loving God & never said this life would be easy.
"Shall we accept good grom God, and not trouble?" Job 2:10
Lord, let me never forget that in all things you send there is blessing....Every problem leading me to pray also leads me deeper into your presence, and every trial that takes me to my knees also brings me closer to your throne.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.
So, I guess I need to pray more for healing & a mindful acceptance of the situations that occured 2 years ago & then just let it go.
I've realized that I should be proud, joyful and greatful that the surgery went extremely well.
I've also realized that my Uncle knew I loved him & whether or not I was in surgery, at the beach, at home or where ever...he would've still died.
It's just hard, that's all.
-
Guest
Sorry if that didn't come across the right way. I just thought when you said you knew that you shouldn't question God that you thought you weren't allowed to. I can clearly see from your posts that you are dependent on Him and from what you've been through you have a spiritual understanding that not all of us have, so I'm sorry if my response implied something different.
Although I haven't been through all that you have, I clearly understand how painful grief is. My son has regressive autism, meaning he lost skills such as the ability to talk,pretend play around the age of 2, and now that he is eleven he only functions on a 9 month to one year old level. I too am grateful that he's still alive. It's hard to grieve and not feel guilty for grieving because he's still alive. It was like he became a different child over night, and no one prepared me for the grief I would feel, and I don't know that people knew how to help me in this unique situation. So, I hope I'm not coming across judgmental. I don't get your specific grief because I haven't been through what you have, but I do get the grief that I've experienced, and just wanted to support you in some way:).
Take care,
luvpiggy
Although I haven't been through all that you have, I clearly understand how painful grief is. My son has regressive autism, meaning he lost skills such as the ability to talk,pretend play around the age of 2, and now that he is eleven he only functions on a 9 month to one year old level. I too am grateful that he's still alive. It's hard to grieve and not feel guilty for grieving because he's still alive. It was like he became a different child over night, and no one prepared me for the grief I would feel, and I don't know that people knew how to help me in this unique situation. So, I hope I'm not coming across judgmental. I don't get your specific grief because I haven't been through what you have, but I do get the grief that I've experienced, and just wanted to support you in some way:).
Take care,
luvpiggy
-
Guest
Wow, luvpiggy, you are a very strong person! Here you are offering me support & guidance when you have a lot to deal with in your daily life yourself.
I am ignorant to autism, I know there are different levels. For your grief, I can imagine it is very difficult for you (like me) to be happy & sad at the same time.
It's like you know you should be happy about all that you have & you know the situation could be worse.....but at the same time you are hurting inside because you know what your son used to be & he seems to be losing all of his previous abilities.
I need to learn that LIFE is too short & I need to learn to appreciate EVERY moment! I'm really trying, but sometimes it gets overwhelming & I then turn it over to God.
Thank you so much for your insight & sharing a little of your life with me. You are a very strong person! God Bless You & Your Son
I am ignorant to autism, I know there are different levels. For your grief, I can imagine it is very difficult for you (like me) to be happy & sad at the same time.
It's like you know you should be happy about all that you have & you know the situation could be worse.....but at the same time you are hurting inside because you know what your son used to be & he seems to be losing all of his previous abilities.
I need to learn that LIFE is too short & I need to learn to appreciate EVERY moment! I'm really trying, but sometimes it gets overwhelming & I then turn it over to God.
Thank you so much for your insight & sharing a little of your life with me. You are a very strong person! God Bless You & Your Son
-
Guest
It was a real comfort reading the posts about the after-effects of surgery. I am giving in to my anxiety and going to see my doctor tomorrow although I'm not sure what he can really tell me since this is an internal thing. Plus, after I see him, something will probably happen again that will get me worried. So what I really need to address is my own thinking and fear. The obsessive angle is right on track. Some things that I am trying to concentrate on are gratefulness and distracting myself from so much focus on me. This is so much harder right now when physical pain is present. Thank you so much for the support, it is incredibly helpful to my spirit.