afraid of the change that the program could bring

clearsky27 · Post by **clearsky27** » Sat Jun 06, 2009 11:34 am

I only started the program this week and I already feel as though I am being more positive and doing better. However I have been getting really anxious about the change that this could bring. I am afraid that if I change how I think I will change what kind of person I am. I have Pure O and my main fear is that I am going to do something to ruin my relationship with my fiance, Im always afraid I would cheat on him even though I have NO desire at all to do so and dont want to . The thought of it makes me sick. Im just afraid that if I am constantly not reminding myself how awful it would be and trying to prevent it fro happening that I will let me guard down and it will happen. So I am afraid that the change that would make me not obsess over it would allow me to put my guard down and do something.

I am also afraid that like I said what if it changes the person I am in general. What if that ruins my relationship.

I have a very healthy relationship with my fiance, he is the love of my life, he is very positive and wonderful and supportive.

I am afraid what if it makes me so carefree(the program) that I do something stupid.

Or is it that the program will just let me enjoy my relationship more instead of moments being ruined by the stupid OCD.

Anyone have any idea??? Thanks for the help

pearpickinporky · Post by **pearpickinporky** » Sat Jun 06, 2009 2:13 pm

Work the program, be honest and objective. You will see yourself in many of the sessions and find that some do not apply. I learned a few things about myself that surprised me.

There are tools in the program that will help you deal with this condition that plagues us.

It seems that your obsession is your "SCARY THOUGHT", we are told that we fear that which scares us most and it is a distraction from some real problems in our lives. Take a hard look at situations in your life, Is there something you are avoiding?

I think you will find that if your fiance is as you describe, changes brought about by the program will improve your relationship.

Best wishes

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jun 07, 2009 2:49 pm

Thank you for your repsonse. I think that I am just trying to turn something positive(the program) into something negative. I realize that I will be bettering myself as a person and allow myself to enjoy the wondeful life that I have now that sometimes I just dont let myslef enjoy. After listening to the tapes today I realized that I will always be the same person that I am deep inside and that I will just be able to enjoy her more. Like when I am with him I am so happy but when Ocd kicks in I start getting so nervous and ruining great moments that I cant get back. I think the proggram will help me not ruin these moments that I cherish. It wont change me in any way that I dont want to be changed. After giving it a day and re reading my post I realize that I think I am just afraid because i am so use to having this OCD. I need to realize that its not a program that will make me a differnt person at which I will lose all my values. Instead it will just allow me to enjoy my life without all these thoughts that ruin moments. Thoughts?

jillzmind · Post by **jillzmind** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:45 am

Clearsky - It is very (VERY) common for that scare voice to try to self sabotage us into not doing something we really need to do.

Recognize that this is what is happening to you. I clearly recognize it. As I began to progress in my healing I soon developed the attitude that if I make good, positive changes in my life and there are people that don't like it then I don't need those people in my life.

You'll soon let go of the fear. You have values now and you will always have values. You are a good person now and you will always be a good person. This program teaches you are to relax and in your relaxed attitude you will make wiser and healthier choices for yourself.

Your scare voice is having fun at your expense. Tell it to "hit the road", you are moving forward no matter what "it" says.

Remember, too, that you are always in control of you. Nothing is going to make you do or say anything that you do not wish to do or say.

You are right. The program will help you stop ruining those great moments.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 1:45 pm

Thanks Boon,

Im not afraid that if I make GOOD changes for me (not being so sensitive, needy and analytical). I know that I would be thrilled and my fiance is so supportive he would be thrilled as well(as I know although he is suppotive it must get tiring to listen to all the time).
I am afraid of changing as a person...becoming so carefree that I dont get care and then making bad decisions. I take comfort in that you said I would keep my morals and being a good person. Thank you.

When you said healthier and wiser decisons did you mean by just bettering myslef to not be so hard on myself and not having a negative being.?

Thanks again for being so supportive

Michael · Post by **Michael** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 4:44 pm

Worrying that you will loose control is just your obsessive thought. You will not loose control and do something stupid. Instead, you will just be able to enjoy life without the obsessive thoughts. You will be in the moment, with your fiance, and your scary thoughts will no longer steal the present moments away from you. When you worry that you would do something like cheating, just remind yourself that its just a thought, and its not reality. Lesson 10 will help you alot. It did for me, and also, all the great advise I got from Boon

I had pure O too and I am much better now, due to this program. I also never used any meds. Just this program.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:50 am

As we heal we are more in the present moment and we base our decisions and choices on a moment to moment basis - which is healthy. When we are in fear and resistance we make decisions based on emotion and our decisions are not really clear because we are so afraid. When we make our decisions and choices based from our fears they always change later on because our emotions change all the time. When you heal you learn to step back and breathe and calm yourself down before making decisions.

You will always be a person with values. No program will take away who you truly are. This is your scare voice trying to keep you stuck in your pain. Move past it. Use your breath to help keep you out of your head.

You'll have to prove this to yourself. If you never take that leap, you will never know.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jun 10, 2009 1:47 am

Clearsky...This is called "resistance to change"...Take it from someone who suffered from agoraphobia, panic attacks, accompanied by depression for 21 years of her life!!!

This will be a great change!!! The kind of change which anyone would "grasp" upon!!!

This will not in any way cause you to cheat on anyone!!! That is just a "scary thought" which is very "unrealistic"....

I encourage you to do the program...It changed my life in more ways than I can count, but, not for the worst; instead for the better!!!

I am still with my hubby, and love him as much as I ever did, and it has been over 6 years now, since, I completed the program!!!

Have a great day!!! God Bless...