Beating ourselves up?!?!?

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Thu Jun 04, 2009 3:36 am

Here is a question that i found really thought provoking. What do you get from beating yourself up?

People do things that they believe they can get something positive from. I guess this is kinda about secondary gains.

One suggestion that really worked for me is to write out all the positives and negatives to see if a belief is costing you more than benefitting you.

Mike

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jun 04, 2009 8:08 am

Mike,

As always, an interesting point to raise!! I think what i got out of beating myself up was 1) I have someone to blame for how i felt at the time. 2) A reason for haiting myself 3) An outlet for my anger. That's all i can think of now, but i'm sure i have about a half dozen more. I'll ponder it and get back to you with more!!

Bill

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jun 04, 2009 12:25 pm

Thank you,

Do any of those things really benefit you?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 6:28 am

I think that it actually eases the anxiety, while refocusing it to another area. I think that's why depression usually follows the anxiety. It's a coping mechanism for people who don't know yet how to.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jun 06, 2009 8:03 am

Liberal1964

I'm not sure i'm getting what you are saying. Is it that you are saying that beating yourself up eases the anxiety by refocusing it to another area? and this is why depression follows the anxiety?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jun 07, 2009 3:39 am

Mike,

Yes, that is what i'm saying. It's just my theory, but before we realized what's been happening to us, our minds searched for answers. Being analitical, we eventually found blame within ourselfs, and that eased the anxiety and turned it into depression. At least i think it did with me. Like i said, it's only a theory.

Bill

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jun 07, 2009 7:13 am

It is a good theory. I do agree that the blame we have found within ourselves did bring upon the depression. This makes complete sense to me and perhaps this might ease the anxiety we have in the moment (intresting concept i never thought of) but what about the anxiety we have gotten later on when thinking about an event similar to the one we had problems with?

Mike

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jun 07, 2009 8:24 am

There is a program in A&E called Obssesed, i don't know if you've seen it, but it's very interesting to watch. Most of it is about OCD wich they're saying is a mechanism to deal with thier anxiety. This makes perfect sense to me since i did or still do some obsessive compulsive pehaviors. It's part of the cycle that acompanies our condition, and we will always be doomed to repeat if we don't change the way we think, or break the cycle some way. So it's logical to assume that we will repeat the same behavior if a similar episode of anxiety ensues.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jun 07, 2009 12:59 pm

I'm not aware of that program. what is A&E?

You are right about this being a cycle and that we will continue to do it until we change the way we think. It is the most realistic outcome based on it being a habit. The anxiety takes our minds off of the thing that scares us too. I believe in the program they suggest that scary obsessive thoughts are there to distract us from dealing with the situations that we don't want to.

Mike

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 3:44 am

I'm sorry, A&E is a cable channel in the USA. I didn't realize you didn't get that there. And yes, that's exactly my point!