Hey, after reading one thread and replying I realized that it would be a good idea to post my progress on this technique i'm doing right now.
What i do is I carry around a tally counter. <IMG SRC="http://www.claritas-online.co.uk/images ... ounter.jpg">
With this I click everytime I make an accmoplishment. Lucinda did say on one of the lesson cd's that if you are going to make a big deal out of anything why not the positive instead of the negative?
I did a similar thing to this before but got crazy obsessed with detail. I wrote out every accomplishment and then the category it fit into and the goal it would work towards. Needless to say, I got so overwhelmed that I stopped. This time i'm just going to give you the number of accomplishments and how i felt.
Keep in mind, I am not going to try being perfect so there may be some days that are missing as I'm not going to put high pressure via shoulds on me.
Mike
Accomplishment Counting Journal
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
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Guest
The first day I got 180 accomplishments. I didn't journal however.
Day 2-Sataurday May 9th
83 accomplishments
The technique is helping me out tons. My anxiety level is usually between 6-8 on a 0-10 scale on most days however I was able to keep it down to about a 2 and I really believe it was from focusing on the accomplishments.
Alot of the times I have an inner litany of how i cannot do anything and that i'm lazy and it stops me from enjoying anything but I'm not so much feeling this right now. I also don't feel so pressured/rushed to get things done and things I have done, I can actually enjoy. I don't even think i had much of those really negative mental images and videos which is amazing because they typically come up everytime i zone out & everytime i don't need to concentrate on things.
I am faced with a problem of having to find a new place to live by the end of june and the thoughts that i cannot find one still come up and are still strong but I find that if i'm close my eyes and say, "this thought needs attention" and I breath through it, the intensity becomes less and it doesn't have power over me anymore.
I feel more creative as I made some better witty comments, I was able to concentrate alot better and I'm very hopeful that this attempt to overcome my anxiety and depression is going to be the one where i successfully do it. I can almost taste it and it tastes like a nice handful of fresh blueberries, yum
Mike
Day 2-Sataurday May 9th
83 accomplishments
The technique is helping me out tons. My anxiety level is usually between 6-8 on a 0-10 scale on most days however I was able to keep it down to about a 2 and I really believe it was from focusing on the accomplishments.
Alot of the times I have an inner litany of how i cannot do anything and that i'm lazy and it stops me from enjoying anything but I'm not so much feeling this right now. I also don't feel so pressured/rushed to get things done and things I have done, I can actually enjoy. I don't even think i had much of those really negative mental images and videos which is amazing because they typically come up everytime i zone out & everytime i don't need to concentrate on things.
I am faced with a problem of having to find a new place to live by the end of june and the thoughts that i cannot find one still come up and are still strong but I find that if i'm close my eyes and say, "this thought needs attention" and I breath through it, the intensity becomes less and it doesn't have power over me anymore.
I feel more creative as I made some better witty comments, I was able to concentrate alot better and I'm very hopeful that this attempt to overcome my anxiety and depression is going to be the one where i successfully do it. I can almost taste it and it tastes like a nice handful of fresh blueberries, yum
Mike
Last edited by NinjaFrodo on Mon May 11, 2009 12:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Guest
Day 3, May 10th
101 Accomplishments
Today was alright for the most part but I fell back a little bit. I got a little obsessed over learning about guilt and techniques to handle it, I have come to realize that it was the guilt that started my depression in the first place. Will it be where it ends? All the things make so much sense...if you start to feel guilt then you feel like you fell short of something and this leads to calling yourself a bad person and then back to that inadequacy and so on.
I think the stuff i learned about shoulds is actually making a whole lot of sense now. I thought i got it the first time i went through this program but it makes so much sense now. Shoulds that are self-defeating like "i should be happy at all times" or "If I give 100% I should get something back". The problem with the first one is that if you aren't happy then you feel like a failure, in the second one if you don't get something back after giving your all, you'll also feel like a failure. In both situations, the failure just reinforces the idea that you are bad or a bad person! It makes soooo much sense now, I had so many rediculous shoulds...I should get to bed earlier, I shouldn't have anxiety & depression, I should be able to do whatever anybody suggests for me to do. No wonder i was feeling like i was garbadge.
The 2nd part is when you tell yourself you shouldn't do something...ie Eat icecream when you're on a diet. If you've had the habit of eatting icecream when you are stressed and nervous then you should eat it because, it is the most realistic outcome since you've had that habit for awhile and it's not going to change until you change the habit. Using a reward system to do it.
Mike
101 Accomplishments
Today was alright for the most part but I fell back a little bit. I got a little obsessed over learning about guilt and techniques to handle it, I have come to realize that it was the guilt that started my depression in the first place. Will it be where it ends? All the things make so much sense...if you start to feel guilt then you feel like you fell short of something and this leads to calling yourself a bad person and then back to that inadequacy and so on.
I think the stuff i learned about shoulds is actually making a whole lot of sense now. I thought i got it the first time i went through this program but it makes so much sense now. Shoulds that are self-defeating like "i should be happy at all times" or "If I give 100% I should get something back". The problem with the first one is that if you aren't happy then you feel like a failure, in the second one if you don't get something back after giving your all, you'll also feel like a failure. In both situations, the failure just reinforces the idea that you are bad or a bad person! It makes soooo much sense now, I had so many rediculous shoulds...I should get to bed earlier, I shouldn't have anxiety & depression, I should be able to do whatever anybody suggests for me to do. No wonder i was feeling like i was garbadge.
The 2nd part is when you tell yourself you shouldn't do something...ie Eat icecream when you're on a diet. If you've had the habit of eatting icecream when you are stressed and nervous then you should eat it because, it is the most realistic outcome since you've had that habit for awhile and it's not going to change until you change the habit. Using a reward system to do it.
Mike
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Guest
Day 4 101
Day 5 93
Day 6 99
Day 7 48
Day 8 43
Day 9 17
Day 10 55
So I haven't really felt like journalling about this accomplishment thing in awhile but I feel that now is a good time to post. Overall I've felt much better about myself from focusing on the accomplishments. I don't beat myself up as much, I can look in the mirror and feel better about who i am and I have alot more hope. Along with this my studying has shown me a very vital piece of information. Many of the people who know me, know that it is very common for me to do things obsessively. I would push myself and push myself and I could literally do an activity for 10 hours straight, even if I don't like doing it. I finally realize why.
In the program we talk about shoulds and how they defeat us. I understood overall that this is true but it never really fully clicked until i read about how if you don't fulfill those shoulds you ahve for yourself, you feel dissapointed, you feel like a failure and it reinforces any negative label you have for yourself (bad, rotten, worthless you name it!). What i came to realize is that when i was younger my upbringing was very difficult for me and I was being neglected when i reached for help and tried to get support. My mother and her bf would ignore me when i wanted to deal with issues but would constantly ask me to do chores around the house. I really didn't appreciate this and so i didn't listen and I didn't do what they wanted. As a result, they had told me i was lazy or said stop being lazy or you shouldn't be lazy and actually convinced other people that I was lazy and even they started doing this to me. That's when i developed this should that I shouldn't be lazy! That rule has haunted me since. If i wasn't doing something productive then I felt lazy, I had also linked up that resting and relaxation was lazy as well so no wonder i had resistance to using the relaxation cd and meditation and such. Everytime I was "lazy" I would feel like an aweful person, like a failure and I felt like i was unworthy of good things. This also lead me to staying up late at night because i felt that i didn't accomplish enough. Needless to say it was a self-defeating rule for me and I realized what the rule costs me. On top of this when i did accomplish things, I wasn't able to enjoy the accomplishment as I was focused on everything I "should" do or haven't done. So even saying I should make accomplishments may not help me either.
I had tried to motivate myself with a stick and after awhile it just hurts. I learned that it is more beneficial to use the carrot. Now instead of saying i should do this or that, when i make an accomplishment I get to reward myself. I'm still in the works for creating a reward system but this is what i got so far. If i use the relaxation cd then i get to have a speramint leaf candy or black licorish candy. When i've calculated that i've made 10 accomplishments on my tally counter then i get 1 gummy worm. When i get to sleep earlier then the next day i get to have 2 scoups of lactose free icecream. Sure sugary things like this spike the sugar level but as long as i use something to decrease the quick absorption of sugar (like a protein along with) then it won't be too much on my system as well as drinking lots of water (according to naturopathy, if you crave sugar it actually means that you need more water in your system. Before we had all these processed foods and such, the foods with high water content were fruits and they also have sugar in them!). I've also realized that I can use my cravings for sweets to my advantage. If i want sweets then I'll give them to myself only after I've made some accomplishments!
After adding the reward system, I actually feel really good about my accomplishments. I feel more like a "good person", I feel successful, hopeful, I'm feeling happier, less pressured, less stressed and my anxiety level has dropped significantly from an average of a 7 or 8 to a 2 or 3. And when i make an accomplishment that didn't turn out the way i had expected, I reward myself just for trying and I'm not beating myself up as much for it not being perfect. How can i feel bad about myself when I recieve praise in the form of candy?
This theory i found to be the most benefical. "The most effective scientific method of influencing any living organism including; plants, bacteria and rats is to reward the desired behavior instead of punishing the undesired behavior. Punishment gives you aversion & resentment. It brings about alienation & avoidance." (from Feeling good pg 178 by Dr. David D, Burns, M.D.)
Mike
Day 5 93
Day 6 99
Day 7 48
Day 8 43
Day 9 17
Day 10 55
So I haven't really felt like journalling about this accomplishment thing in awhile but I feel that now is a good time to post. Overall I've felt much better about myself from focusing on the accomplishments. I don't beat myself up as much, I can look in the mirror and feel better about who i am and I have alot more hope. Along with this my studying has shown me a very vital piece of information. Many of the people who know me, know that it is very common for me to do things obsessively. I would push myself and push myself and I could literally do an activity for 10 hours straight, even if I don't like doing it. I finally realize why.
In the program we talk about shoulds and how they defeat us. I understood overall that this is true but it never really fully clicked until i read about how if you don't fulfill those shoulds you ahve for yourself, you feel dissapointed, you feel like a failure and it reinforces any negative label you have for yourself (bad, rotten, worthless you name it!). What i came to realize is that when i was younger my upbringing was very difficult for me and I was being neglected when i reached for help and tried to get support. My mother and her bf would ignore me when i wanted to deal with issues but would constantly ask me to do chores around the house. I really didn't appreciate this and so i didn't listen and I didn't do what they wanted. As a result, they had told me i was lazy or said stop being lazy or you shouldn't be lazy and actually convinced other people that I was lazy and even they started doing this to me. That's when i developed this should that I shouldn't be lazy! That rule has haunted me since. If i wasn't doing something productive then I felt lazy, I had also linked up that resting and relaxation was lazy as well so no wonder i had resistance to using the relaxation cd and meditation and such. Everytime I was "lazy" I would feel like an aweful person, like a failure and I felt like i was unworthy of good things. This also lead me to staying up late at night because i felt that i didn't accomplish enough. Needless to say it was a self-defeating rule for me and I realized what the rule costs me. On top of this when i did accomplish things, I wasn't able to enjoy the accomplishment as I was focused on everything I "should" do or haven't done. So even saying I should make accomplishments may not help me either.
I had tried to motivate myself with a stick and after awhile it just hurts. I learned that it is more beneficial to use the carrot. Now instead of saying i should do this or that, when i make an accomplishment I get to reward myself. I'm still in the works for creating a reward system but this is what i got so far. If i use the relaxation cd then i get to have a speramint leaf candy or black licorish candy. When i've calculated that i've made 10 accomplishments on my tally counter then i get 1 gummy worm. When i get to sleep earlier then the next day i get to have 2 scoups of lactose free icecream. Sure sugary things like this spike the sugar level but as long as i use something to decrease the quick absorption of sugar (like a protein along with) then it won't be too much on my system as well as drinking lots of water (according to naturopathy, if you crave sugar it actually means that you need more water in your system. Before we had all these processed foods and such, the foods with high water content were fruits and they also have sugar in them!). I've also realized that I can use my cravings for sweets to my advantage. If i want sweets then I'll give them to myself only after I've made some accomplishments!
After adding the reward system, I actually feel really good about my accomplishments. I feel more like a "good person", I feel successful, hopeful, I'm feeling happier, less pressured, less stressed and my anxiety level has dropped significantly from an average of a 7 or 8 to a 2 or 3. And when i make an accomplishment that didn't turn out the way i had expected, I reward myself just for trying and I'm not beating myself up as much for it not being perfect. How can i feel bad about myself when I recieve praise in the form of candy?
This theory i found to be the most benefical. "The most effective scientific method of influencing any living organism including; plants, bacteria and rats is to reward the desired behavior instead of punishing the undesired behavior. Punishment gives you aversion & resentment. It brings about alienation & avoidance." (from Feeling good pg 178 by Dr. David D, Burns, M.D.)
Mike
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Guest