hard to work hard to go out everything is falling apart HELP!!!!!!
ok im 21 just turned 21 on easter and i have rel bad panic attacks and anxiety. well i went to work friday and i coulldnt stay cuz i got these wierd feelings in my head and in my chest like as if i were in a movie or goin to just passout and my chest felt like it was tightening or my heart wasnt beating right or something was stuck in it i dont kno its hard to explain but its so hard to even work anymore cuz i panic so much. even when i get around my mom or sister or where i feel stress or tension it triggers my attacks. i hate stayin home cuz i have panic attacks often and when i eat i also get em like my heart races and i start panicin. i cant stay in like florecect lighting either it make me panic and sometimes sunny days can someone help me i cant take this anymore its driving me nuts HELP.......................
Julia Mayo
Hi, Julia,
Are you doing this program? If not, I would highly recommend it because I know it will help. If you are doing the program, how far along are you?
Turning 21 is just a big milestone, and often those of us with anxiety experience increased anxiety around milestones. I just really believe that you can learn coping skills from this program, and also reading "From Panic to Power" by Lucinda Bassett will help you too. I think you will identify with many of the stories that she shares in the book, and you will know you aren't alone.
I also just want to assure you that every symptom you've described is classic panic and anxiety, including the depersonalization. I shared some of my experience with depersonalization with Mallory last week. That was one of my main symptoms, and there are a lot of others on here too who had that as their main symptom and recovered.
The main reason you experience depersonalization is that your body is under stress, and it releases it's own natural "drugs" in the form of stress hormones to cope. When you learn other coping skills from this program, your body will no longer need to use depersonalization to cope, or at least not as much, and when it does happen, you will know what it is and not over react, and it will go away.
I also think depersonalization can occur when you are struggling with identity development. A lot of teenagers experience moments when they look in the mirror and don't know who they are. That used to happen to me as a teen, but I didn't panic and thought it was kind of cool, which is so funny now. However, years later, after my son was diagnosed with autism, and I was faced with a life and death situation and just a lot of horrible stress, I had a major identity crisis. My depersonalization went to the maximum, and I didn't expect that to happen to me when I was 25. I thought I was through with identity development, but in this modern age, it's very common for people to have several identity crises throughout their lives. So, you have turned 21 and are probably thinking a lot about who you are, who you want to be, what you want to do in life, and if you have recently separated from your family of origin, you may not understand who you are independent from them. It takes time, but when you focus on your identity development, you will get better. In fact, if you look at it the right way, it's really fun:). Really focus on your dreams, setting goals, finding out what you really value and what you really like to do for fun, etc.
I also want to add that a major thing that helped me heal was focusing on having good boundaries. Boundaries are a major part of identity development. Boundaries are meant to let the good things in to our lives and to protect us from the bad things. I found that I depersonalized the most when I let toxic people into my life or what are known as "boundary violators" into my life, when I didn't speak up for myself and my son, etc. In other words, I lacked assertiveness, etc. Books that helped me were "Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin" and "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. Townsend.
As far as the artificial lights go, there are studies that show that people with anxiety are just more physically sensitive to flourescent(sp?) lighting. However, after doing this program and healing in other ways, I am much less sensitive, and if they bother me a little, they don't really give me attacks anymore.
As far as the sunny days are concerned, that was my BIG PROBLEM! During my horrible time with anxiety and depersonalization, a clear blue day made me feel like I was in nightmare. Later, it became a major "trigger" for panic attacks. I thought I was crazy. Then I read a book called "The Courage to Heal" for survivors of sexual abuse. In the book, a woman talked about how she had a horrible time with clear blue sunny days. She did some reflection and realized that blue days represented her life with her abusive family in which healthy boundaries didn't exist. She felt like she didn't know who she was when she stepped outside and like she was just going to float away. That made a lot of sense to me. However, I still struggled for a while, and have gotten over it the most these past two years. Wearing sunglasses does help because you are making your own "boundary". Now, I can actually travel or go outside on a blue sunny day and enjoy it, and can even do so without sun glasses. It's really a miracle.
A lot of people on here recommend books by Claire Weekes. She's an Australian psychologist who really understands depersonalization. In her books, she talks about a guy who would depersonalize when he went out onto the beach on a clear blue sunny day. She said that it was so bright outside that it would contrast with the darkness that he felt on the inside. That was it for me too. I kept thinking that I would be happiest if I moved to Seattle:), but now, I don't have such a need to do that. So, I know it just feels really weird, but it really makes sense. If you are going through a period of stress, your adrenaline makes you more sensitive to tiny details in your environment. If you are struggling with your identity inside, you will start focusing on trying to control what's outside of you such as avoiding flourescent lighting and sunny days, but really you have to focus on what's going on inside of you because that is the key to healing. It can be very hard to face the pain and emptiness you feel on the inside, but you can do it, and you fill that emptiness with self-love and good things. If you don't know who you are inside, you just feel really small when facing the outside world that is bright and sunny.
I hope something I said helps in some way:).
Take care,
luvpiggy
Are you doing this program? If not, I would highly recommend it because I know it will help. If you are doing the program, how far along are you?
Turning 21 is just a big milestone, and often those of us with anxiety experience increased anxiety around milestones. I just really believe that you can learn coping skills from this program, and also reading "From Panic to Power" by Lucinda Bassett will help you too. I think you will identify with many of the stories that she shares in the book, and you will know you aren't alone.
I also just want to assure you that every symptom you've described is classic panic and anxiety, including the depersonalization. I shared some of my experience with depersonalization with Mallory last week. That was one of my main symptoms, and there are a lot of others on here too who had that as their main symptom and recovered.
The main reason you experience depersonalization is that your body is under stress, and it releases it's own natural "drugs" in the form of stress hormones to cope. When you learn other coping skills from this program, your body will no longer need to use depersonalization to cope, or at least not as much, and when it does happen, you will know what it is and not over react, and it will go away.
I also think depersonalization can occur when you are struggling with identity development. A lot of teenagers experience moments when they look in the mirror and don't know who they are. That used to happen to me as a teen, but I didn't panic and thought it was kind of cool, which is so funny now. However, years later, after my son was diagnosed with autism, and I was faced with a life and death situation and just a lot of horrible stress, I had a major identity crisis. My depersonalization went to the maximum, and I didn't expect that to happen to me when I was 25. I thought I was through with identity development, but in this modern age, it's very common for people to have several identity crises throughout their lives. So, you have turned 21 and are probably thinking a lot about who you are, who you want to be, what you want to do in life, and if you have recently separated from your family of origin, you may not understand who you are independent from them. It takes time, but when you focus on your identity development, you will get better. In fact, if you look at it the right way, it's really fun:). Really focus on your dreams, setting goals, finding out what you really value and what you really like to do for fun, etc.
I also want to add that a major thing that helped me heal was focusing on having good boundaries. Boundaries are a major part of identity development. Boundaries are meant to let the good things in to our lives and to protect us from the bad things. I found that I depersonalized the most when I let toxic people into my life or what are known as "boundary violators" into my life, when I didn't speak up for myself and my son, etc. In other words, I lacked assertiveness, etc. Books that helped me were "Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin" and "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. Townsend.
As far as the artificial lights go, there are studies that show that people with anxiety are just more physically sensitive to flourescent(sp?) lighting. However, after doing this program and healing in other ways, I am much less sensitive, and if they bother me a little, they don't really give me attacks anymore.
As far as the sunny days are concerned, that was my BIG PROBLEM! During my horrible time with anxiety and depersonalization, a clear blue day made me feel like I was in nightmare. Later, it became a major "trigger" for panic attacks. I thought I was crazy. Then I read a book called "The Courage to Heal" for survivors of sexual abuse. In the book, a woman talked about how she had a horrible time with clear blue sunny days. She did some reflection and realized that blue days represented her life with her abusive family in which healthy boundaries didn't exist. She felt like she didn't know who she was when she stepped outside and like she was just going to float away. That made a lot of sense to me. However, I still struggled for a while, and have gotten over it the most these past two years. Wearing sunglasses does help because you are making your own "boundary". Now, I can actually travel or go outside on a blue sunny day and enjoy it, and can even do so without sun glasses. It's really a miracle.
A lot of people on here recommend books by Claire Weekes. She's an Australian psychologist who really understands depersonalization. In her books, she talks about a guy who would depersonalize when he went out onto the beach on a clear blue sunny day. She said that it was so bright outside that it would contrast with the darkness that he felt on the inside. That was it for me too. I kept thinking that I would be happiest if I moved to Seattle:), but now, I don't have such a need to do that. So, I know it just feels really weird, but it really makes sense. If you are going through a period of stress, your adrenaline makes you more sensitive to tiny details in your environment. If you are struggling with your identity inside, you will start focusing on trying to control what's outside of you such as avoiding flourescent lighting and sunny days, but really you have to focus on what's going on inside of you because that is the key to healing. It can be very hard to face the pain and emptiness you feel on the inside, but you can do it, and you fill that emptiness with self-love and good things. If you don't know who you are inside, you just feel really small when facing the outside world that is bright and sunny.
I hope something I said helps in some way:).
Take care,
luvpiggy
ATTITUDE -- The mind is like a parachute...it doesn't work unless it's open!!
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Guest
piggy,
thank you so much u have helped me alot hearing what u have said changed my perspective alot on my anxiety. imma go get those books asap cuz i believe they will help and i dont have the money right now for the program i wish i did but i cant even work right now and im wanting to move out of my parents cuz its only makin things worse me staying here all we do is bicker and fight and they always rely on me to do things and i cant deal with it any more they are invading my boundry. u have opened my eyes alot to see what is really out there thank you so much. and yes i do look in the mirror and ask myself who am i? but im slowly started to figure it all out. see im a model and its hard for me to even do that nemore cuz im always worried about having a panic attack during a shoot or getting shaky or just something happening. i love modeling but now it seems as if i cant do it anymore. and another thing thats gettin to me is may 10th will be a year since my grandmotherpassed away and she had alzheimers and me n my mom took care of her for 8 years and she was my stregnth and when she passed all this stuff started happenin to me the first panic attack i had was the night she passed away i ended up in the hospital. i still dream of her dancing which is good cuz shes happy but still it breaks my heart that shes not around anymore. but thank you so much for listenin to me and helping me ill let u kno how things go.
thank you so much u have helped me alot hearing what u have said changed my perspective alot on my anxiety. imma go get those books asap cuz i believe they will help and i dont have the money right now for the program i wish i did but i cant even work right now and im wanting to move out of my parents cuz its only makin things worse me staying here all we do is bicker and fight and they always rely on me to do things and i cant deal with it any more they are invading my boundry. u have opened my eyes alot to see what is really out there thank you so much. and yes i do look in the mirror and ask myself who am i? but im slowly started to figure it all out. see im a model and its hard for me to even do that nemore cuz im always worried about having a panic attack during a shoot or getting shaky or just something happening. i love modeling but now it seems as if i cant do it anymore. and another thing thats gettin to me is may 10th will be a year since my grandmotherpassed away and she had alzheimers and me n my mom took care of her for 8 years and she was my stregnth and when she passed all this stuff started happenin to me the first panic attack i had was the night she passed away i ended up in the hospital. i still dream of her dancing which is good cuz shes happy but still it breaks my heart that shes not around anymore. but thank you so much for listenin to me and helping me ill let u kno how things go.
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Guest
Jujuboo...Wishing you the best!!!! I wished you had the program, but, since you can't afford it, I totally understand....
You may want to remain on this forum...There are great people on here who can give you lots of insight....
If you will go to the General Comments section of this forum and scroll down, you will find a thread I posted called "A Typical Panic Attack"...
You are not going crazy, having a heart attack or dying. You are just having panic attacks, and they may feel life-threatening, but, you are healthy....They can not hurt you in any way...You are safe!!!
I suggest you read the postings on the forum. Try your best to read as many as possible. There are many postings in each section....Hope this helps...Wish you the best...God Bless
You may want to remain on this forum...There are great people on here who can give you lots of insight....
If you will go to the General Comments section of this forum and scroll down, you will find a thread I posted called "A Typical Panic Attack"...
You are not going crazy, having a heart attack or dying. You are just having panic attacks, and they may feel life-threatening, but, you are healthy....They can not hurt you in any way...You are safe!!!
I suggest you read the postings on the forum. Try your best to read as many as possible. There are many postings in each section....Hope this helps...Wish you the best...God Bless