Has anyone gone from agoraphobia to getting a job?

*Chelsie* · Post by ***Chelsie*** » Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:43 pm

Hi all,
I've been agoraphobic for 6 years. It got to the point that for most of those six years I never when further than my mailbox.

Over this past year I've accomplished so many things. I'm proud to say that I've gone to the beach, camping, and the the other side of the state to visit family. And I've also come to love going out places just to be doing something. But I still suffer from some anxiety. I'm 20 years old and I've never had my license or a job. I'm planning on getting my permit in a couple weeks but my big problem lies in work.

I have an awful babysitting job that i absolutely hate. I make a flat rate of 20 bucks a day watching a baby and a 3 year old for up to 11 hours a day. I want a "real job" so bad I drive myself nuts over it. I feel hopeless and I get depressed because I feel like I'll never be able to do it. I'm scared of applying because I'm scared my anxiety will get the best of me and I won't be able to do an interview or if I got one I'm scared I'll have to quit because my anxiety fluctuates better and then awful all the time.

I live at home with my parents and its misarble because they complain about having to give me rides and they hold it over my head that they work and I don't.

Has anyone else been able to overcome their anxiety and get a job and learn to drive? Is it possible to actually start a life after suffering for this long?

sorry for the lengthy post.
Hope everyone is well

-Chelsie

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:57 pm

Congratulations on getting as far as you have! That's something to be proud of.

It sounds like you are being completely taken advantage of with the babysitting - $20 for *all* day watching a baby and a 3 year old? Wow, those people sure are getting a deal. For 11 hours, you are making 1.81 an hour, that's ridiculous, and don't be shy at all to tell them you can't afford to work for them anymore at that rate. You should be making at LEAST $5 an hour for the two of them, making it $55 for an 11 hour day. You'll be nervous when you tell them this, but so what, just breath through it when you tell them that your rates are changing.

Seeing that you already have experience with kids, maybe you can find a job in that arena, an teacher's assistant at a preschool or something like that?

Either way, just remember to treat that anxiety as you have the agoraphobia - do all those same techniques and also remember that it's normal to be nervous, after all you've never had a job before.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Apr 29, 2009 1:09 pm

thanks

I know I need to tell her I need more money. especially since we agreed upon that rate when I first met her because I was only supposed to watch them for about 4 hours a day and then without telling me, she applied for a different position and has longer days and different hours everyday. some night I even have them until midnight.

I keep telling myself it's better than nothing and that It'll hold me over until I get a real job but thats unrealistic, I know. I'm afraid of losing this because I have a $120 psychiatrist bill every month, plus others.

I actually prefer to get out of the childcare work. My boyfriends mom own a daycare and I could probably get a job there but she's the rudest most annoying woman on the planet and that would be a bad scenario lol. Also, kids just really aren't my thing. I took this job because I couldn't leave my house at the time and I needed money. I'm thinking I might try rite aid or safeway down the street if they're hiring. I just can't get up the courage to believe I can do it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 5:00 pm

Hey Chelsi I'm 19 and I've been trying to get up the courage to get a job too. Like you I don't really want to take one because I'm not sure if I'll just quit or leave it because I'm too anxious. I probably won't get one this summer because I want to try traveling more, I'm a recovering agoraphobic as well. You could always try getting a job, the worst case scenario is that you quit....so why not? The job at rite aid would probably not be very hectic, and you could look at the makeup and magazines thats always fun. About the whole driving thing... I got my license this spring break, so if I can do it, I'm sure you can do it. The permit is really easy, you just circle some answers. I took the drivers test twice. The first time I failed, but I took it in an area where they were EXTREME strict and I hadn't had enough practice. I took it a second time 40 minutes away from my house, and I was pretty much a wreck by the time I got there, runnin to the bathroom at the last second when the test person got to my car!! cuz I had drank so much water lol....but i took it and passed. I'm still working on driving by myself, so far I can only drive likeeee 10-15 minutes away from my house by myself, but I'm working on it. I've been really busy with classes I'm taking at a local college....but I think the point I'm trying to make is that you can definitely get your license, and the job. It'll probably be nerve wracking, but those things are nerve wracking even for normal people! Just keep saying that you are fine, and that you can do it. :]

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 7:56 pm

Hi Chelsie,

I'm a recovering agoraphobic too. At my worst, I was scared to leave my bedroom.. I'd sit in there with my blinds shut all day. Getting up to get something to eat took a lot of effort. When I eventually started getting out of the house I, like you, wanted to get a job and make my own money that way I didn't feel like I owed anybody anything. I got a job a couple of miles down the street at a tanning salon. I worked 3-5 hour shifts.. it was a great, non-stressful environment to work in. About 4 months after getting that job I felt ready to work full-time, so I interviewed at a bunch of places for admin. assistant work and I was hired at a fantastic company.. What I'm getting at is that even though you're agoraphobic you can overcome, it just takes small steps. Start with the job down the street from your house. Tell yourself that if you feel bad the worst thing that can happen is you go home and rest.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri May 01, 2009 5:41 am

lizikins - thank you! i think its amazing that you can take classes. I got my diploma through my schools homeschooling program and my anxiety has kept me from going on to college, another thing I've wanted so bad since the beginning of high school. As for getting my permit, i'm not too worried about that. it's the actual driving that i'm nervous about lol. and oddly enough my anxiety isn't about being alone while driving, its driving with someone in the car. i have an extreme irrational fear of throwing up in front of people and my main anxiety symptom is nausea, so i'm always afraid that i will embarrass myself in front of someone by throwing up or having to turn around lol.

But thank you, it gives me hope to know that someone else has been able to do the things I hope to do

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri May 01, 2009 5:45 am

couturesugar-

wow thats great! you have made huge progress. how do you feel about working now? do you still get anxious or have days when you can't make it to work because of it, or do you just get so used to it?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri May 01, 2009 12:50 pm

Well Chelsie, the good thing about taking college classes is that you can choose how many you want to take and at what time. Like at highschool it was so structured. I would have to stay in school and sit in classes for 6 hours, when in college each class is about an hour, and you don't have to take classes back to back. This semester I took a couple online classes becuz I overloaded last semester and got really stressed out. Also in highschool teachers would yell at me and embaress me if I just got up and walked out, but at college, you just get up and walk out if you don't feel good. The teachers don't make a big deal out of it, because you choose to go there, so if you don't stay in class its your loss. This way its very relaxed. I try to stay in class though, I still get really nervous in classes sometimes....especially for tests! I always sit way in the back right near the door just so that I can get out quick lol.
Also about how you get nervous with other people in the car,I can relate because I get nervous if the people who are in the car with me aren't a family member, because I always think I'm gonna freak out. Plus if we're driving somewhere I don't want to have to be like, ummm wait I wanna go back now. I haven't driven in the car with any of my friends since I got anxiety, I always meet them there....that's something I gotta work on.
Also trust me you'll be able to get a job and drive, if you just try, you'll be able to. You don't have to be able to do the things right away, lil steps, but eventually you'll get there. Just make sure to keep pushing yourself.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri May 01, 2009 3:35 pm

I too was an extreme agoraphobic. I was bound to my bedroom and had a very difficult time leaving beyond my door. Panic attacks would strike. With this program not only have left my bedroom but, I got on a plane, took a new job, went through intense training and moved. All within a six month period. I think baby steps is the key, doing the program, and holding yourself accountable to make those steps towards recovery. I wish you the best....YOU CAN DO IT...