Support circle for depression

JonathanZ · Post by **JonathanZ** » Mon Apr 27, 2009 2:41 pm

I just started the program and am someone who suffered greatly from depression for a whole year and did not recognize or admit it the entire time until recently when I decided to purchase the program.

My symptoms include (in the order that I noticed them):

- constant irritable bowel
- feeling of numbness / out of body / not alive or conscious
- unable to find any joy in anything, not even things that I used to really enjoy
- loss of sense of smell / nasal pressure and waking up with 1 nose constantly stuffed, worst when it was Winter
- progressive loss of short term and long term memory and brain functions, speed of learning drastically decreased
- chronic fatigue and ability to fall asleep very easily but inability to enter deep sleep, when waking up I feel like I've slept only 1 hour or was just about to enter deep sleep.
- when doing work / looking at the computer monitor, there is a painful tension around the temple, eye socket and upper nasal area
- heart burns / chest tightness

To make things hard to diagnose, I'm turning 22 this year, physically very fit, exercise almost daily and for the past year have seen great improvements on my heart and lung capacity. I eat very healthy and at regular intervals. I'm returning to school in 4 months after my 16 month internship is over and that is exactly how long this program is

In the beginning it was just depression, but I didn't realize it, and the symptoms caused by the depression lead to anxiety and more depression because I was once a top student and need to go back to school, I needed to figure out how to resolve the issues that hindered my mental functionality fast. However, the more tired I felt the less motivated I was to do anything about the problem even though I wanted to, I was just so extremely tired. I've tried so many combination of things in the past 10 months, which was when I noticed the physical symptoms, and none of them actually applied to me. However what I found interesting was that each time that I thought I had found the solution, a bunch of symptoms go away for a few days and at best at one time they went away for a week. I didn't know why but now I know it is all related to the mind. I just feel that this kind of illness is so extremely dangerous because of the deadly cycle of amplification.

Looking forward to getting better along with everyone here.

Celyon · Post by **Celyon** » Tue Apr 28, 2009 9:35 am

Hi Pecos,

I suffer from depression also, but I believe that depression and anxiety go hand in hand. Have you listened to the definition of anxiety and listen to the experiences.

I feel anxiety because I cannot control my moods or my temper. The anxiety in turn makes me depressed because again I have lost control. For instance, this is my second week on the program; last week went text book perfect. That is until Sat. afternoon. I was at a spiritual convention and a part on the program reminded me of my sister who I lost last Oct. from colon cancer.

I tried to talk it out, I cried a little and then I distracted myself by changing my thinking. Then I went home Sat eve expecting a letter from a friend and when I didn't get the letter, I sunk into a funk.

I watched two movies that made me cry. Then I messed up and a drank two beers. I ended up staying up all night flipping channels. I said all that to say this; can you see the connection, the pattern with anxiety and depression. First I was anxious about my sisters death, then I was disappointed with my friend, then I let myself get down even further with the alcohol.

Sun was a better day, then Mon I suffered with fatigue from the long depressing day over the weekend. It is all a cycle. So please don't give up Peco; and go through the entire program.

Celyon · Post by **Celyon** » Tue Apr 28, 2009 9:39 am

To: JonathanZ,

Welcome and thanks for sharing. I swear it really feels better just knowing that others understand how you feel.

I never thought I would like participating in group discussions. I thought it would have the opposite affect. (negative thinking again)

Anyway, I'm glad I'm here and look forward to hearing everyone's progress.

CG822 · Post by **CG822** » Sat May 02, 2009 7:49 am

I love reading everyones posts. We are all alike in so many ways. I find that im most anxious and depressed when I try to go to bed, and I cant...and when I wake up, m stomach starts turning and my head starts filling with thoughts.

I hate so much that when I sleep, I have dream after dream after dream. Its like I can never have a moment of no thoughts! its my zoloft that does that, and I am getting new meds next week. Im going back on cymbalta and highly looking forward to it.

I hate how we think so much, I hate it!!!! Im getting better, God is taking all of my thoughts from me when I ask him to, my faith is making me stronger. Im trying to take it one day at a time.

I hope everyone is well!!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue May 05, 2009 6:10 pm

To Everyone,
It is all about the thinking process. It really does all boil down to the negative thoughts. If one did not think so negatively, then, one would not be depressed.

If you feel your brain with as much positivity as you have the negativity all the time, then, I am sure you would not feel depressed....

Remember, you cannot have a feeling without first having a thought. Our thoughts are what gets us into trouble. So, if we want to live a content and fulfilled life, then, we had better begin practicing replacing those negative thoughts with more positive realistic thoughts...

I cannot imagine a person who thinks positive a lot being depressed. That person would have to be very content.

Life is just too short to waste in this way...
I pray that everyone begins feeling better really soon....God Bless

supergirl · Post by **supergirl** » Wed May 06, 2009 3:40 am

Hello, all.....I have started the program and am getting ready to begin session 2. I suffer from depression and have since I was a teenager due to reacting to an enmeshed family system, with high expections, much religious expections, and feeling alone most of the time. I have trouble with finding my sense of self often, and this causes me to feel empty. To continue to focus on myself is really hard, as I usually focus more on others and almost live through them instead of enjoying my own life. Does anyone understand this? It is really hard for me to put it into words. What is this? please help.

CG822 · Post by **CG822** » Wed May 06, 2009 7:14 am

Remember...we are as free in our mind as we want to be...as happy as we want to be and as joyful as we want to be.

Thank about that...repeat it.

As Ms. T Bone says accept and LET GO!

CG822 · Post by **CG822** » Wed May 06, 2009 7:15 am

If you think you can or if you think you cannot, then your right! Henry Ford.

TNL · Post by **TNL** » Wed May 06, 2009 8:23 am

**I'm not quite where I want to be, but I'm not where I was!** ~ Joyce Meyer

I was listening to one of her CD's when she said this & it really hit my heart - I am not where I want to be emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc... *BUT* I'm definitely NOT where I was!

2 weeks ago, I felt like giving up, like my life was going down the drain, my health was horrible (in my mind), I had severe nausea & diarrhea, loss of appetite, couldn't sleep well, etc....

Now as of today (Wednesday, May 6th 2009) I am feeling better, I am eating healthy, I've had a spiritual renewal with Christ, and I'd say I am at least 85-90% better! I still have bouts of anxiety...not panic attacks, so far they've not gotten that bad. And occasionally I am sleepy in the middle of the day - which makes me anxious.

The one major thing that I've noticed is that my mornings are sooooo much better than before - for about 2-3 weeks I'd wake up in a panic, my body had extreme hot flashes like I was literally on fire - not just my skin but the meat beneath...it was horrible!

My therapist, my family & the doctor has noticed that I am doing better (without me telling them!) ~ GLORY TO GOD!!!

I know I am on my way to a full recovery & I am thankful to have this support circle! Thank you CG822 for starting this ~ I hope I can offer HOPE to someone - anyone else!

Celyon · Post by **Celyon** » Wed May 06, 2009 8:29 am

Hello and CONGRATULATIONS TNL,

I was just relating to someone how I also feel better after only 3 weeks on the program. It's almost scary. I am so happy for you. You didn't mention if you are doing any exercise. This was one of my biggest obstacles. Yet I have been walking for 15-20 min, 3 days a week for the past 3 weeks.

My bp was 129/65 for the first time in years. I know it's the walking because I changed my eatting habits over two months ago and I am just seeing these results.