Changing Other Peoples Perception Of You?

dj417002 · Post by **dj417002** » Sat Apr 11, 2009 6:47 am

I have an issue with work. When I started in my job 3 years ago I was at the height of my anxiety problems. I had no assertiveness, I let work colleagues walk right all over me. Now I am better changing just does not suit them at all. They see me in a certain way and it seems impossible to change. Because I had no assertiveness they gave me all the rubbish to do and well I just did it. This has stuck with me and as I say I can't shift it, the boss is as bad so no point saying anything to him.

I am thinking the only thing to do is start a fresh elsewhere and use this as a learning experience.

Whats your thoughts?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Apr 15, 2009 2:07 am

Anyone??

Try as I might to change jobs it seems impossible. 2 jobs advertised, 700 unemployed. Doesn't make good reading does it? What should I do as my current job is dragging me back instead of forward

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Apr 15, 2009 2:13 am

People get used to seeing us a certain way and when we change for the better, not everyone is happy with that. If I were you I wouldn't quit my job, I'd just continue to be the new and improved me and patiently wait for them to accept this change - they will. It just takes time.

Paige... · Post by **Paige...** » Wed Apr 15, 2009 10:49 am

when I was recovering and becoming more assertive I lost a lot of friends..that wanted the ooooo helpessss meee girl

Same with my job..people want to be controling.....dont let them control you stick up for urself!! DONT QUIT!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 5:42 pm

I am feeling really down today about completely different issues but I just read your post and felt compelled to respond. Do you enjoy your job? If so, stay. If not, keep up the job search (don't let the media get you down about the opportunities). Other people's perceptions of you will always be an issue if you are human and probably for most of us that are involved with this program. So if you like your job, take on this new challenge for the new you on how to be more assertive- one step/one day at a time. Come up with a standard response, for example,on how to say "no" if a peer tries to stick you with something that's not your job. The difference for you is going to be how YOU react to others, and that is something you can control. You really can't control how they respond- so keep being the more assertive you, but if you find you are not enjoying your job anymore (or if you weren't in the first place), then it is time to look elsewhere- even if it takes a little time. Maybe the new you would enjoy a different type of job now?? Good luck.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 8:19 pm

Originally posted by CatTX:
I am feeling really down today about completely different issues but I just read your post and felt compelled to respond. Do you enjoy your job? If so, stay. If not, keep up the job search (don't let the media get you down about the opportunities). Other people's perceptions of you will always be an issue if you are human and probably for most of us that are involved with this program. So if you like your job, take on this new challenge for the new you on how to be more assertive- one step/one day at a time. Come up with a standard response, for example,on how to say "no" if a peer tries to stick you with something that's not your job. The difference for you is going to be how YOU react to others, and that is something you can control. You really can't control how they respond- so keep being the more assertive you, but if you find you are not enjoying your job anymore (or if you weren't in the first place), then it is time to look elsewhere- even if it takes a little time. Maybe the new you would enjoy a different type of job now?? Good luck.

Thank you for that. I know I need to change as being there is doing no good at all, but change is making me a bit scared, I've been doing the same thing so long, I know what to expect from workmates etc. When I get this new job I'm gonna have to hit the ground running right from day 1, althought the job situation is dire over here at the min

lilianne · Post by **lilianne** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:56 am

I think if you are open to looking for another job anyway, try to assert yourself now, if anything and if you get let go, you could probably collect unemployment (if you are in the US at least) while you are looking for another job.

Keep in mind that you are your own assertive person and changing jobs isn't going to fix that, you have to work on you first.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 10:47 pm

I am thinking of changing jobs too. Its not so much all the co-workers, just one can make everyone miserable. I also have been doing the same thing for a long time and for quite a while now I feel there is something "more" for me to do, I just don't know what it is or how to get there. I just take it one day at a time and pray for the right direction. Hang in there.