Hey All - I am almost done going through the program (for the 2nd time in my life) and I have done all the things I should do to get better - eating better, taking vitamins, exercising at least 4 days a week, positive self talk, relaxation exercises, praying, etc. My anxiety has greatly improved - no more panic attacks, can go places now and be calm. But the depression is still here and I must admit, hard to cope with.
I even was in an IOP program for about 2 months because I really wanted face to face interaction with people because I felt isolated. But now that program is over. I'm looking into other support groups, volunteering, etc.
I'm not taking antidepressants, because of course, I am afraid to - the side effects, getting worse. But now I am starting to wonder if I should. I went through this before 7 years ago and I got better without antidepressants, so I thought I could this time too.
I just think it's strange because I just moved into a great new place and things are going well in other areas of my life, but my mood is not getting better, nor is my lack of motivation and tiredness.
I've had all the medical tests done - thyroid, heart, etc. I wake up in the morning and I tell myself "today is going to be a good day". I am kind to myself, I count my blessings and write down positive thoughts. And when I don't have the energy to do these things, then I give it over to the Lord. I've been doing this for months and this cloud is still hanging around.
Anyone else have an experience like this? How long does depression take to lift without meds, or are meds sometimes necessary? I keep reading things like psychotherapy is just as good as antidepressants or fish oil is just as good or exercise is just as good, and I'm doing all three.
Anyway, I know there is no end date stamped on my forehead for depression and I don't want to pressure myself to feel better, I just thought by now I would and it's really making me wonder if I have a true chemical or hormone imbalance.
I am not without hope, but the longer time goes by, it does seem to be getting harder to cope.
Will This Cloud Lift W/O Medication?
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Guest
Melanie...Do you have any things that you actually enjoy doing? Sometimes we can have that "blah" feeling when we feel we aren't needed or when we feel we aren't doing what fulfills us..You might call it the "mission" in our lives. Are you bored? Do you feel like you are living your life with purpose, and on purpose? What do you feel is missing out of your life? Have you isolated yourself from others? Do you have barriers that you haven't gotten rid of? Are you lonely? Ask yourself...What can I do right now to make myself feel better...Do this all throughout the day...Challenge your thoughts...In other words, argue with those thoughts that are holding you back from being the best you can be...Are there areas in your life that you could improve to make yourself feel better?
Write yourself many compassionate love letters..Begin each one of them with Dear...then your name...Tell yourself all the compassionate things that you would tell someone you love dearly. You are of much value to us here on the forum...You are very valuable to God...You are valuable..Period....
Continue questioning yourself...Once you come up with the answer...begin problem solving...take action...
I believe you can be all that God created you to be without the aid of meds...You just need to work a little bit more...Hope this helps...God Bless!!!!
Write yourself many compassionate love letters..Begin each one of them with Dear...then your name...Tell yourself all the compassionate things that you would tell someone you love dearly. You are of much value to us here on the forum...You are very valuable to God...You are valuable..Period....
Continue questioning yourself...Once you come up with the answer...begin problem solving...take action...
I believe you can be all that God created you to be without the aid of meds...You just need to work a little bit more...Hope this helps...God Bless!!!!
Hi Melanie,
I am not here to tell you if you should or should not take medicine, but I would like to relay my experience. Four years ago, while in college, I developed awful panic attacks. After about a week, I said that's it, I need to go to the doctor. He prescribed me 1mg of xanax xr per day. Relatively low dose, and it did help my anxiety. But, I then felt like there was this cloud over me all the time. I knew there was no reason for me to feel "depressed" but I did. I didn't give it time to go away and just told my doctor what I was feeling. He then prescribed me 10 mg of paxil. Again, a small dose. I would say after 3 weeks I noticed a huge difference! I was back to my old self again. I never experienced a "drugged" or "dazed" feeling, I didn't feel numb or too happy, I just felt like myself again--what a relief it was! Four years later here I am. I can honestly say over the four years I was great (myself) about 90-95% of the time. I would have maybe two or three episodes a year that lasted maybe a couple days or a couple weeks where I had that cloud feeling, but then it would just fade away. Now, starting around 6 weeks ago, I began weaning off my paxil (under my doctor's supervision). I just made up my mind that I wanted to try being off all meds---I will start weaning off the xanax once I'm off the paxil. About 3 weeks ago I started getting panicky, and that cloud feeling again. I asked my doctor if it was withdrawals or just me going back to how was pre-meds. His answer, "he doesn't know." It's really a waiting game. I ordered the program about two weeks ago and I like what they have to say and teach. So, what I am trying to say is, I am going to give it a go w/o meds. But, if I have to be on meds, so be it. I don't think anyone should be afraid, but you should definitely be INFORMED of what you are going on. I consider myself one of the lucky ones, in that the first medication the dr. put me on worked, and it worked w/o side effects. Also, one of my fears was that I would become immune to my medicine and that my dose would have to be continually increased. Well, with some research and comments from peers on this site that is only half true. The GOOD news is that that does NOT happen with anti-depressants (so I've been told) but does happen w/ benzos (for instance my xanax). So, my xanax may very well not even be doing anything for me anymore, lol...i should have probably weaned off that one first. Anyway, I rambled a lot but I hope this helps. I just hate to see so many ANTI-meds ppl out there...because in some cases they can and will help. I would make an appt with your doctor and express your concerns, and maybe emphasize you want to be put on a very low dose. If you have any more questions let me know.
Good luck!
I am not here to tell you if you should or should not take medicine, but I would like to relay my experience. Four years ago, while in college, I developed awful panic attacks. After about a week, I said that's it, I need to go to the doctor. He prescribed me 1mg of xanax xr per day. Relatively low dose, and it did help my anxiety. But, I then felt like there was this cloud over me all the time. I knew there was no reason for me to feel "depressed" but I did. I didn't give it time to go away and just told my doctor what I was feeling. He then prescribed me 10 mg of paxil. Again, a small dose. I would say after 3 weeks I noticed a huge difference! I was back to my old self again. I never experienced a "drugged" or "dazed" feeling, I didn't feel numb or too happy, I just felt like myself again--what a relief it was! Four years later here I am. I can honestly say over the four years I was great (myself) about 90-95% of the time. I would have maybe two or three episodes a year that lasted maybe a couple days or a couple weeks where I had that cloud feeling, but then it would just fade away. Now, starting around 6 weeks ago, I began weaning off my paxil (under my doctor's supervision). I just made up my mind that I wanted to try being off all meds---I will start weaning off the xanax once I'm off the paxil. About 3 weeks ago I started getting panicky, and that cloud feeling again. I asked my doctor if it was withdrawals or just me going back to how was pre-meds. His answer, "he doesn't know." It's really a waiting game. I ordered the program about two weeks ago and I like what they have to say and teach. So, what I am trying to say is, I am going to give it a go w/o meds. But, if I have to be on meds, so be it. I don't think anyone should be afraid, but you should definitely be INFORMED of what you are going on. I consider myself one of the lucky ones, in that the first medication the dr. put me on worked, and it worked w/o side effects. Also, one of my fears was that I would become immune to my medicine and that my dose would have to be continually increased. Well, with some research and comments from peers on this site that is only half true. The GOOD news is that that does NOT happen with anti-depressants (so I've been told) but does happen w/ benzos (for instance my xanax). So, my xanax may very well not even be doing anything for me anymore, lol...i should have probably weaned off that one first. Anyway, I rambled a lot but I hope this helps. I just hate to see so many ANTI-meds ppl out there...because in some cases they can and will help. I would make an appt with your doctor and express your concerns, and maybe emphasize you want to be put on a very low dose. If you have any more questions let me know.
Good luck!
P.S. I am very fortunate to have a very caring and responsible doctor who will listen to all my concerns. When I presented my dislike to him in the beginning about going on meds he was very puzzled and responded: Your dad is diabetic right? He doesn't want to take insulin but he has to. He then told me I "may" have to take medicine and there was nothing to be ashamed of. Just as my dad's body was not producing enough insulin, my body was not producing enough serotonin. Again, just be informed and do your research on meds, and make sure you have a responsible dr. Paxil gave me my life back, and if I have to go back on it, then so be it. I'm definitely trying the program thought first 
Take care.
Take care.
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Guest
Thank you both Ms. T Bones and Lawgirl for responding to me and I really appreciate your thoughtful feedback.
Lawgirl - thanks for sharing your experience. I am not anti-medication either and I definitely know many people who have been greatly helped by meds. I just thought since I got through this without them before I could again, but that was 7 years and maybe my body has changed.
Ms. T Bones - a lot of what you wrote hit the nail on the head. Two years ago my husband and I started our own business, which was a dream come true. Previously, I had always worked in the corporate world and it was unfulfilling. Now I can utilize my creativity and have flexiblity in my schedule. But there is a downside to everything. I don't have as much interaction with people and it's only a seasonal business, so we work from May-October only. The last 2 winters I got a temp job over the winter for money reasons. This was the first winter I didn't get a job because my anxiety/depression had already started to take hold last Fall and I didn't feel I could hold down a job. But I just know I'm one of those people who doesn't do well being at home all the time. Being an overthinker, I have to have things that really distract me otherwise I just have too much time to dwell and analyze.
So, anyway, I realized eventually that it wasn't healthy for me to be so isolated, but then we made plans to move to another area, so it was a catch-22. I didn't want to start volunteering or joining clubs when I was going to be moving. Well, now we are finally in our new place and I'm looking into these things, it just takes time. I really don't have any friends and we are going to look for a church in our new area as well, but again it takes time. I think it's just been a long winter, but I am looking into things and making efforts to get out of this isolation.
I have a great desire to serve others and be around others, but it really takes effort. Before I thought I had to wait to feel better to do these things, but now I know I have to do them and the feeling better will come with time. I think I'm just impatient in the meantime because it's been a long winter. I don't have children either (not by choice) and I know I can contribute to society in other ways and I'm thankful to have a wonderful husband, but being a woman I often feel I'm missing out on a big purpose by not having the opportunity to be a parent and give in that way.
Thank you both for your encouragement and you are both a blessing to this Forum. I'm so thankful to at least have this Forum as a place to vent and get encouragement.
Lawgirl - thanks for sharing your experience. I am not anti-medication either and I definitely know many people who have been greatly helped by meds. I just thought since I got through this without them before I could again, but that was 7 years and maybe my body has changed.
Ms. T Bones - a lot of what you wrote hit the nail on the head. Two years ago my husband and I started our own business, which was a dream come true. Previously, I had always worked in the corporate world and it was unfulfilling. Now I can utilize my creativity and have flexiblity in my schedule. But there is a downside to everything. I don't have as much interaction with people and it's only a seasonal business, so we work from May-October only. The last 2 winters I got a temp job over the winter for money reasons. This was the first winter I didn't get a job because my anxiety/depression had already started to take hold last Fall and I didn't feel I could hold down a job. But I just know I'm one of those people who doesn't do well being at home all the time. Being an overthinker, I have to have things that really distract me otherwise I just have too much time to dwell and analyze.
So, anyway, I realized eventually that it wasn't healthy for me to be so isolated, but then we made plans to move to another area, so it was a catch-22. I didn't want to start volunteering or joining clubs when I was going to be moving. Well, now we are finally in our new place and I'm looking into these things, it just takes time. I really don't have any friends and we are going to look for a church in our new area as well, but again it takes time. I think it's just been a long winter, but I am looking into things and making efforts to get out of this isolation.
I have a great desire to serve others and be around others, but it really takes effort. Before I thought I had to wait to feel better to do these things, but now I know I have to do them and the feeling better will come with time. I think I'm just impatient in the meantime because it's been a long winter. I don't have children either (not by choice) and I know I can contribute to society in other ways and I'm thankful to have a wonderful husband, but being a woman I often feel I'm missing out on a big purpose by not having the opportunity to be a parent and give in that way.
Thank you both for your encouragement and you are both a blessing to this Forum. I'm so thankful to at least have this Forum as a place to vent and get encouragement.
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Glittergirl
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Fri Apr 10, 2009 3:09 pm
I was reading your post and completely know where you are. You definatly can pull through without medication and get your life back to normal. I have been dealing with this same issue for years and it does always get better and I have never taken anything for it. I continue to struggle with it and have issues almost daily lately but I keep the hoping for the best.
I am actually reading that you and you husband have your own business and that you feel isolated. I know exactly what that is like as well as I opened a business three years ago. All of the things that you have done the moving, opening a business were all life changing situations and would cause anxiety in almost everyone. I think that you should definatly take the no medication route. Even though the medications do help sometimes, they are always masking the actual underlying issues. Its funny that we actually have alot in common and I see that you also live in NJ what part?
If you ever need to talk to someone about this feel free to email me. I know how tough it is. Owning a business in its own right will drive you mad. You definatly need to try to make some friends I know this is hard because I dont even know where to begin myself. But having a social circle will ease if not elivate your anxiety. I have always lived here in NJ and I had tons of friends but as time went by my sister moved away, and six of my closet friends moved and I dont see too many people either. Basically I work with my boyfriend and everyday lately has been like groundhog day (the movie). And its very easy to get bored and feel isolated when you dont have much going on. I just basically clean the house, exercise, and work lately which is pretty unfulfilling.
I am at this point driving my boyfriend nuts because I am really not going anywhere by myself and its justs draining him because we have to go everywhere together. We recently just moved from where we lived as well so now I am farther away from my friends that are still here.
I know all the feelings they are all two familiar. I completely got over all anxiety for years but it came back a little and I can deal with it a little better each time. The thing that helps out the most is just not being afraid of the feeling and just letting it pass. If you do not fear it it really does go away. Takes a little bit to master and but once you do the anxiety is pretty gone. But if you ever want to chat just shoot me an email.
I am actually reading that you and you husband have your own business and that you feel isolated. I know exactly what that is like as well as I opened a business three years ago. All of the things that you have done the moving, opening a business were all life changing situations and would cause anxiety in almost everyone. I think that you should definatly take the no medication route. Even though the medications do help sometimes, they are always masking the actual underlying issues. Its funny that we actually have alot in common and I see that you also live in NJ what part?
If you ever need to talk to someone about this feel free to email me. I know how tough it is. Owning a business in its own right will drive you mad. You definatly need to try to make some friends I know this is hard because I dont even know where to begin myself. But having a social circle will ease if not elivate your anxiety. I have always lived here in NJ and I had tons of friends but as time went by my sister moved away, and six of my closet friends moved and I dont see too many people either. Basically I work with my boyfriend and everyday lately has been like groundhog day (the movie). And its very easy to get bored and feel isolated when you dont have much going on. I just basically clean the house, exercise, and work lately which is pretty unfulfilling.
I am at this point driving my boyfriend nuts because I am really not going anywhere by myself and its justs draining him because we have to go everywhere together. We recently just moved from where we lived as well so now I am farther away from my friends that are still here.
I know all the feelings they are all two familiar. I completely got over all anxiety for years but it came back a little and I can deal with it a little better each time. The thing that helps out the most is just not being afraid of the feeling and just letting it pass. If you do not fear it it really does go away. Takes a little bit to master and but once you do the anxiety is pretty gone. But if you ever want to chat just shoot me an email.
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ladyvols1967
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Fri Apr 10, 2009 12:09 pm
Melanie: I hope you can go without meds, but my experience...I took myself off back in 2003 and because of miscommunication from people of authority and myself, again in 2008. I became very self distructive and suicidal. I used to think I could never do that (become suicidal...thought only people seeking attention did that.) I was wrong, because both times, I told no one. I won't go into detail how I was saved from self distruction, but I will tell you, because I take my medication as directed, keep medical appointments, and make it a point to wake up every morning with the attitude to "Take this one day at a time, and today will be a good day." I'm leading a very productive life. On those days you find yourself drained and very depressed, if you have one, call your coach...for me, it was someone at crisis...I will remember you when I pray. Best Wishes, ladyvols1967
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Loving Mom
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Fri Apr 10, 2009 12:33 pm
I've become a strong proponent of "No Drugs" especially after my cousin committed suicide, not from any depression or any desire to die but from psychotropic drugs. She didn't intend to overdose, the drugs just caused her to not know what she was doing. Her drug induced state caused her to go into a trance-like state when popping her pill. I witnessed her doing the exact thing one day when we were about to leave the house and she announced that she forgot to take her vitamins. When she stood at the sink and began to take her pill, it was as if someone removed the off switch and the process just continued one vitamin after another until I intercepted her and announced in horror, "How many vitamins are you taking!!!" Then she stopped. I looked into her eyes and there was little connection. She must have taken 7 of the same vitamin before I confronted her.
When a chemical concoction takes over your minds ability to reason, to be rational and logical....you become a walking time bomb either to yourself or others. The most dangerous thing about taking psychotropic drugs is interrupting the medication for any reason. You can't just stop or interrupt taking anti-depressants, anti-psychotic prescriptions. The result can range anywhere from irrational explosive rages to suicide. Sadly, my true story is supported by statistics of mysterious suicides and shoot outs with police. That's been my keen observation.
I support the Stress Institute’s theory on how to handle stress, anxiety and depression. I haven’t begun working with the program myself but I can see the theory behind it is sound. Depression can become a worn groove in the thought process, much like a worn groove in one of the old records that caused the music to skip back a thread every time it came around and hit the scratch. When our minds go skipping back to sad thoughts, or any negative thoughts, that’s a sign of unresolved grief or trauma. Rewiring our thinking process to move past that scratch is important or we may stay stuck in that groove for a long time.
As far as medication goes, I believe it's more important to remove the root of the problem rather than attempt to cover the symptoms with medication.
BECAUSE: When the medication stops, the problem is still there and will need to be dealt with anyway. All we're doing with medication is postponing doing the necessary work of dealing with the original problem.
When a chemical concoction takes over your minds ability to reason, to be rational and logical....you become a walking time bomb either to yourself or others. The most dangerous thing about taking psychotropic drugs is interrupting the medication for any reason. You can't just stop or interrupt taking anti-depressants, anti-psychotic prescriptions. The result can range anywhere from irrational explosive rages to suicide. Sadly, my true story is supported by statistics of mysterious suicides and shoot outs with police. That's been my keen observation.
I support the Stress Institute’s theory on how to handle stress, anxiety and depression. I haven’t begun working with the program myself but I can see the theory behind it is sound. Depression can become a worn groove in the thought process, much like a worn groove in one of the old records that caused the music to skip back a thread every time it came around and hit the scratch. When our minds go skipping back to sad thoughts, or any negative thoughts, that’s a sign of unresolved grief or trauma. Rewiring our thinking process to move past that scratch is important or we may stay stuck in that groove for a long time.
As far as medication goes, I believe it's more important to remove the root of the problem rather than attempt to cover the symptoms with medication.
BECAUSE: When the medication stops, the problem is still there and will need to be dealt with anyway. All we're doing with medication is postponing doing the necessary work of dealing with the original problem.