Suicidal Thoughts

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Aug 03, 2007 7:40 am

I know what you mean, they are just thoughts. I've had them too but when I do it makes me cry thinking about my husband and son who I love dearly being without me, that's how I know it's just a thought and would never happen if it bothers me that much, it's just a distraction!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Sep 21, 2007 9:17 am

Hi Sara's mom. I have not signed on in a while here but was wondering how you are doing. I hope you have regained control over your thoughts and are not so troubled now

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Sep 22, 2007 9:26 am

Hi, new to this whole program thing. Still waiting for my material to arrive.
I also think about suicide, not because I "really" want to go through with it, but mostly because I'm SOOO tired of living like this. No self esteem, lots of anxiety and guilt, no patience for my little 2 yr old, (eventhough people say i'm a great mom), unhappy with my marriage, depressed, irritated morning till night, can't concentrate, can't make decisions, don't want commitments, etc. I am really exhausted living like this. On top of all that, add my hubby letting me know how my negative attitude is affecting our daughter and that i will ruin her. Now that is enough to make any mom out there want to just end it!

BookOfPsalms · Post by **BookOfPsalms** » Sat Sep 22, 2007 1:28 pm

I don't think the feelings everyone has here are suicidal in the way people would think when they hear the word, it's just that people with anxiety just get so tired of how they feel that they would rather die than feel that way ever. I get those feelings a lot like I would rather be dead than feel like this, death seems like a solution, but I know I would never kill myself. People who are suicidal are very different, they usually don't have a reason to kill themselves, they have manic depression or deep clinical depression. I hope everyone is ok and realize that these thoughts aren't bad like you think, they are just out of a desperation that can be controlled and it WILL go away.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Sep 23, 2007 3:49 am

I was really down and out about a month ago. I really wanted to go through with it, but I'm so scared of dying and the thought of having to slice my wrists and lay there while all the blood drains just isn't pretty! Anyhow, I wanted to post this site, <A HREF="http://www.samaritans.org" TARGET=_blank>http://www.samaritans.org</A>
they read your anonymous posting and then reply. AND it's not an automatic reply, either. They really helped me when I was feeling like it was IT!
Days like today, when I feel no support/understanding from my family about how I can't just "turn into a positive individual" overnight, really get me down and I just start to think, "maybe there is no hope", "it's better my daughter grows up withouth my influence", etc. I know it's not really true, but it's hard to have to live with this way of being. Still waiting for my CDs.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Oct 09, 2007 1:44 pm

hang in there DEEPinside! There's plenty of hope out there and if you work at correcting the way you think about things you will change into a more happy and positive person. See my post earlier on this thread to Sara's mom about the tea for m exercise. They are changing my life and may help you too!

Bakedpears · Post by **Bakedpears** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 5:56 am

Sara's mom, I can't believe it has been over a year since this thread started. I never heard back on how you are doing and thought I would send you one more reply. It sounded like you were getting that it is the thoughts that are the problem in your last note so I hope you are working on them and changing them and feeling great now

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 8:20 pm

You know what. If you are afraid of these thoughts it's a good sign. And most importantly this is unfortunatley they way you (and I before I got over this) have trained your mind to think.. WHAT IF's !!! Your mind is actually trying to scare itself and we all know what happens when your mind feels it is in danger !! BANG another anxiety attack..
I had to train my mind into looking at the positives instead of negatives..Took a couple of months but it worked.. No matter how hard it is, look at the positives.

Example.. I have to go out tonight with my friends. Change the normal thoughts of "I will feel too tired to go or what if I start to feel anxious and embarass myself (stop the what if thoughts)" to "I will have fun, focus on the prescious momemt and be involved in the conversations"

Too often when I was with a group of people I was present in phyiscal form but my mind was too busy trying to scare itself with What IF thoughts.. Try to catch yourself doing this and stop it. Eventually your mind will be trained into stopped thinking this way

Jake2008 · Post by **Jake2008** » Wed Nov 05, 2008 8:25 am

Excellent post Camnuck. The thought countering exercise I told Sara's mom about helps you learn to change your thinking by finding the thinking errors in your normal ways of thinking (in the example you used the errors were Jumping to conclusions and Extreme thinking) and then replacing the thought with more realistic thoughts that tend to be much more positive. It really works and can change your life!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Nov 05, 2008 12:15 pm

It is so scary. This happens to me too when I'm having my anxiety (like these past two weeks). I feel like my anxiety will be controlling my life forever and think to myself, "How can I possibly go my whole life feeling like this?!"

I totally agree that there is a difference between the thoughts we are experiencing due to anxiety and those of someone who is severely depressed and really wants to die.