New to all of this

Mailman · Post by **Mailman** » Sun Mar 29, 2009 2:31 pm

I dont see myself as having panic attacks very often but life (doctor/sounselor) has me on anti-depressants for the 3rd time in 8 years. I am being threatened by upper management that my job is on the line and I am just now beginning to be able to get out of bed and get to work on time most days.
I just opened my anxiety kit on Friday, got to where I tried the relaxation CD and had the best day @ work Saturday I have ever had! Went to church today for the first time in over a year! I still have a lot to do, but I feel empowered.
I have 50 pounds to lose, the need to quit smoking when I am strong enough, and divorce or go back to my wife of 23 years. Decisions that I have been unable to make as it is impossible to make any, no matter how small they might be.
If any of you have experienced life in any way similar, please pray for me. I welcome emails, too. Thank you for all of the posts on this site. It is very encouraging!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 1:58 pm

Hello there mailman, I too just started a few days ago. The relaxation tape was very good for me too. I have never used mediation actually its only recently that Ive started reaching out for help. I listened to session 1
audio, and am about to read the guidebook then
watch the video. I dont have panic attacks,
but get very anxious nervous and hyper. Then
I cant relax. I hope this works because I have been anxious for a long time.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 8:16 am

Yesterday, Monday, was when i received my packet with the cds and dvds. I have not listened to the relaxation cd yet. I went through the introduction, and read the guidebook before completing section one. I am looking forward to the relaxation cd.

My story is, i'm finding, all to familiar to many people.

I'm 29 years old. I lost my father to Leukemia when i was 25. He was my best friend, my dad, my boss. He was everything to me. I had a girlfriend at the time who was wonderful helping me. We were engaged, broke it off, engaged, got married, and then split almost immediately. i thought it was her depression that was the cause of the problems. I am learning very quickly that i was as much to blame for our problems as she. And i have figured out that i too have depression.

Over the last couple of months, the drinking has gotten worse. I took over the business whn my dad died, so i am my own boss. If that weren't the case, i would have been fired a long time ago.

I have had anxiety attacks over the last six months that have darn near buckled me. Usually, it is when friends or family have died and it's quite apparent that i have not dealt with the losses of my own.

Lesson #1

The past is the past. I just learned that yesterday. And i feel better about it allready!

I want to extend my appreciation for forums like this one. We are in this together. I have also posted my email and am available to discuss the troubles we each face at any time. I want to beat this thing, and i am going to. And so can you!

Good luck and godspeed!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:19 am

Just wanted to say hi. I lost both of my parents, my dad when I was 28 and my mom 4 yrs ago when I was 33. Both of my parents were my best friends and I was devastated when they passed. I'm looking forward to all of us overcoming our anxieties and depression!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:34 pm

Hi everyone!

I recently received this program from my mom. She ordered in hopes that it might be the answer to my oh so messed up life!

I will try to be brief, but tend to be wordy, so please forgive me if I begin to ramble. And especially any typos!

I am 40 years old. Divorced and still in love with him. He still loves me, but can't live with me the way I am. I can't live with me the way I am! Well, I have been diagnosed with Bipolar II with severe depression, Fibromyalgia, Interstitial Cystitis, and I am out of shape and about 80 - 90 lbs overweight. I take like 5 meds, when I take them, I hate taking them, and I will avoid it...but when I do that I am worse. I have trouble sleeping, either insomnia or I sleep to hard for too long. I have a fear of not waking up in time for work because I am a heavy sleeper. I procrastinate. I am so not organized at all, even though I use to be very organized at one time, and I have paper and clothing and nick-nack clutter all over the place at home and in my classroom. I can't make the simplest of decisions and struggle on a daily basis. I have horrible hygiene habits, which is embarrassing to admit. My sister was in an accident about 3 yrs. ago and was killed instantly. My husband and I (I can't even call him my "x") separated around that time and have been divorced for about 2 and 1/2 years, simply because neither of us stopped it and he hoped filing separation papers and then filing for divorce would be the catalyst to "snap me out of it" and make me join life again...even though neither of us wanted to really divorce. We are still friends and get together for physical comfort... we talk everyday, multiple times and tell each other how much we love each other and miss one another...however he is tired of waiting and hoping I will change. He has heard all the same promises over and over again, but can never seem to keep it going for any length of time. I tend to fold or give up or just plain not try...so he wants to start dating and it is killing me....which does not help the depression, nor does it "snap me out of it", the thought makes it worse and the sadness is overwhelming. I seem to mourn constantly...loss of my sister, my marriage, time wasted by not living, my husband wants to move on without me....etc. you name it I tend to mourn it.

I have never thought I was an anxious person, but I knew I had fears. Some fears and anxiety I am able to over come, but it seems to be the simplest or dumbest fears that really make me anxious. And I have experienced Panic Attacks, but I did not know what they were.

Anyway, that is quite a bit of history and there is so much more. I am hoping by joining this support group on line that I am able to help others as well as be helped.

I hope that this program is truly the answer for us all. I need to be committed to it, but fear, (imagine that?) like everything else I start never gets finished. Your help and support would be wonderful and I hope that I can help you as well!

Sincerely,
BZETCHR

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Apr 02, 2009 2:54 am

Just wanted to say your not alone and like you I tend to start things and not finish them, but I am determined to finish this program and overcome my anxiety, agoraphobia, depression. Glad you decided to try the program too!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Apr 02, 2009 11:29 am

It is sad to hear all your stories. I tend to be a hypersensitive, over-analytical and creative person. I am still single at 34. It seems like women do not want to be with me. Maybe it is because I am so negative that I do not give them the chance to be with me. I am very smart and I may have solved some math problems but that does not mean much when I am lonely and depressed all the time. I wish someone would respond to my ideas. Does anyone out there understand what it is like to be so fearful that even the thought of telling someone about my ideas sends shivers down my spine? I am so negative that I constantly put myself down and I tell myself that my ideas are not good enough to tell anyone. I feel that I would be laughed at and rejected or something worse. My ideas may well be good enough to garner public interest but I have such low self-confidence that I do not feel that anyone will respond to them. Does anyone else have a major fear of social situations and publicity? I am so afraid most of the time that I feel life is no longer worth living. Does anyone else feel that way? Well that is enough rambling about my problems> I hope I did not depress anyone even more.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Apr 02, 2009 3:12 pm

Thank you for your kind and supportive words. I too am determined to finish this program. I am so tired of not living a productive and happier life. My son is 12 now and I feel like I have not truly been the parent/mother I have wanted to be or even dreamt of being....My sister suffered from some of the same things I have and she became a diabetic due to her weight. She had been doing better before the accident...but my point in bringing her up is that even though she struggled she was able to truly give her daughter/my niece some really great times and she made sure that her father and mother did things with her all together. I know I have given my son some great times...but they are usually few and far between... and he has seen me at some really low points in his short life... my hope and plan is to finish this for myself as well as for him... I want to make his next 5 to 6 years prior to college as happy and memorable as I can... So you words and encouragement really mean alot to me. Thank you!!

and to Nelson...
I have begun to realize that I too have seen myself as unworthy....but keep with the program...I believe it can and will help all of us to really discover our true self worth. I thought I had self worth...but deep down I have never felt like I truly deserved the kind of life my ex-husband (there, I said it...still don't like the sound of it!) wanted to and would have given me...he is a good man...I put him through a lot and he hung in there for almost 20 years...15 married...I want to be worthy and so do you....I believe this is our answer...hang in there! and that goes for everyone!!!