Stuck in a cycle of feeling sorry for myself?

[dj417002]

Lucinda sort of touched on this on one of the CD's, I can relate so much but can't pull myself out of the cycle which in turn leads to depression.

I've lead a fairly misserable existance, Poor health, lack of money, hateful job, loveless relationship to name but a few, but It certainly won't help me dwelling on these but its all I can do.

I look around at others enjoying there life and to be honest I just feel total bitterness towards them. Sure there are always people worse of than you but to be honest that doesn't give me any comfort.

Sad to say I would never commit suicide, however if I had the choice, say the good lord said "Right DJ, I am giving you the chance to leave this life" I would soon take it without a second thought.

Are you like this? Or can you offer any advice?

[Guest]

Hello dj,
Thank you for your post. I would say it took a lot of courage for you to be so honest with us. Here are just some ideas of how you might get the wheels in motion and create a pivitol change inside of yourself. What you are experiencing in my opinion is truly learned negativity and pessimistic thinking which we all have and give into from time to time. If we give into it constantly it starts to change who we are and this situation you are in is not who you are but more of the choices you have made, and choices are just that decisions made in an attempt to predict the outcome of our situations, some good some not so good. So rethinking your decisions and changing what you can and do have some control over may bring about the change you are looking for. So having said all of that how about making a consious decision to start focusing on what you can change for now and let go of what you cannot change? And with this one decision comes an incredible amount of self esteem building because you are in fact controlling your outcome in life instead of allowing it to control you. If you were for instance able to change your job would it then be possible to make more money and also change your work atmosphere where your opportunities for meeting people are greater? Sometimes we aquire a sort of learned helplessness and it is hard to move forward because our situation seems impossible. I am not saying this is your situation and you certainly do not need any more negatives coming at you right now, but if you were to focus on (ONE) thing you can change and not worry about the things you cannot change you may see that change is in fact possible and offers you a chance for some new opportunities. I also believe that we all actually share some of these same traits it's just that if we allow them to control our thoughts (negative thinking)and constantly give into them we feel defeated and hopeless and where there is life there is always hope, and allowing in so much negativity is counter productive. I hope this helps even a small amount without sounding like a lecture because we all really do care and want to help you through this difficult time.
Lastly and probably most importantly, where are you in the program?

[Guest]

Originally posted by not:
Hello dj,
Thank you for your post. I would say it took a lot of courage for you to be so honest with us. Here are just some ideas of how you might get the wheels in motion and create a pivitol change inside of yourself. What you are experiencing in my opinion is truly learned negativity and pessimistic thinking which we all have and give into from time to time. If we give into it constantly it starts to change who we are and this situation you are in is not who you are but more of the choices you have made, and choices are just that decisions made in an attempt to predict the outcome of our situations, some good some not so good. So rethinking your decisions and changing what you can and do have some control over may bring about the change you are looking for. So having said all of that how about making a consious decision to start focusing on what you can change for now and let go of what you cannot change? And with this one decision comes an incredible amount of self esteem building because you are in fact controlling your outcome in life instead of allowing it to control you. If you were for instance able to change your job would it then be possible to make more money and also change your work atmosphere where your opportunities for meeting people are greater? Sometimes we aquire a sort of learned helplessness and it is hard to move forward because our situation seems impossible. I am not saying this is your situation and you certainly do not need any more negatives coming at you right now, but if you were to focus on (ONE) thing you can change and not worry about the things you cannot change you may see that change is in fact possible and offers you a chance for some new opportunities. I also believe that we all actually share some of these same traits it's just that if we allow them to control our thoughts (negative thinking)and constantly give into them we feel defeated and hopeless and where there is life there is always hope, and allowing in so much negativity is counter productive. I hope this helps even a small amount without sounding like a lecture because we all really do care and want to help you through this difficult time.
Lastly and probably most importantly, where are you in the program?

Thank you for that excellent post. I have went through the programme before but that wasn't giving 100%, I would say I only gave it about 70%, I've restarted it countless times but can't stick at it, I can't get any further that session 3, I start feeling good and then give up, then I get annoyed with myself and so it begins again

[Guest]

I know this sounds cliche but try and focus on all the positives in your life. Doing this helps me a lot. Feeling sorry for yourself is a trap and makes things worse. Oprah says to start a gratitude book and write in it every night before you go to bed.