Gradually cutting yourself off from everyone?

dj417002 · Post by **dj417002** » Sat Mar 14, 2009 1:47 am

Have you done this? Since my anxiety issues started about 10 years ago, gradually I have cut myself of from everyone, I have no friends, I am not close to relatives anymore, I am married and have kids, but I have also cut myself off from inlaws, I don't do it on purpose or anything its subconcious,

Are you like this? The sad thing is, I think I actually prefare my own company. Loaner I think would sum me up

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Mar 15, 2009 3:50 am

I have done the same thing. I think I have done it, because it is just easier not to have people around. If people are around they want to go out and do things and I never know what kind of day I will be having. It is easier to avoid people than to break plans or say no to plans. It feels like I don't want to be bothered with all the energy it takes to maintain relationships. I'm using all the energy I have to get myself through the day. It does get lonely at times, but for the most part I accept that it is this way right now.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Mar 15, 2009 4:43 am

I have done the exact same thing in my life. In fact for years, I have not made any new friends and my best friends who were the driving factor to my social life have moved away and I now have virtually no social life. Heres my problem with it. While being alone seems to be what I prefer and do enjoy most of the time, I am constantly at odds with it. I feel like I SHOULD be seeking social interaction. Then on the rare occasion I do get an invitation I look for ways to avoid going. Its this battle between seemingly wanting to be alone, but not wanting to. I am still working on trying to resolve this Here is something you need to ask yourself. Is there a reason why you dont want others in your life? Is there something about you that you dont want people to see? Is there something you are fearful they might find out before you have had a chance to deal with it yourself? For me, I am learning exactly what this is. I am adressing it on my terms and one day I think I will be able to let others back into my life. Its not easy to look that deeply into yourself, believe me. Everybody is different, but seriously take some time to reflect on this.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:53 am

I have been suffering thru anxiety and depression for 1 1/2 years. I am on week 8...and have felt that I am making small strides in the program and also in my faith. My heart was ripped out of me 3 days ago...my husband told me he has been unfaithful. He moved out for a while because he can't face my anger and to protect our girls. I am absolutely devastated. I knew I was focusing soooo hard on recovering that our relationship was getting pushed back. I didn't see this coming at all. Especially when I have been struggling so hard to beat this. Now I have to go to intense therapy and when I asked him to go to marriage counseling, he said, I guess we can give it a shot. How comforting is THAT???? I have sunk into a pit. I am so lost now.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Mar 15, 2009 8:25 am

Erin:
I know all too well how hard that is!!
I certainly do wish you the best. I do know that in a lot of instances that a marriage can be healed of this type thing.
I understand the pain this brings to you.
But I also know that God loves a broken heart.
Let that love that God has for you , as His child, into your heart.
I shall pray for you.
Mary Jane

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Mar 15, 2009 8:39 am

I am really bad about doing this, it is like i have to be in total control of everything. I have to control what I watch on tv,where i go, and how long i am going to be gone.And I also dont like it when people expect something from me or wants me to do something. I want to be in control of all of my time,if i feel out of control it sets off a panic attack. I had rather be alone.

hopehound · Post by **hopehound** » Mon Mar 16, 2009 3:16 am

Mary Jane,
Thank you for the kind words. I have never felt such a range of horrible,scared,upset, anger (on and on and on) of emotions. I feel like my progress to heal has been smashed. I have slid so far backwards. I have never hurt so much in my life. I found the Meier Clinic...a Christian based therapy and my counselor focuses on anxiety and does intensive marriage counseling as well. I can only say God must have put her in my hands. Please pray for healing. I can only survive second by second right now.
Erin

Carolyn Dickman · Post by **Carolyn Dickman** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 2:14 am

I have done this as well with most of my friends and the majority of my family. I just this week have reached out to one of my sisters, she's coming to see me tomorrow. I have had anxiety, agoraphobia (to some degree) since I was a kid but I didn't know what was "wrong" with me until 9 yrs ago after my father passed away and my Dr told me my symptoms were anxiety. Since then I've slowly cut so many people out of my life

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 4:33 am

My life has been smashed also,going on 17 years now,I'm at the point I don't care anymore !!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 5:32 am

I can really relate to what you are saying. I am glad I came to the boards today b/c I am very sad and upset about the state of "love" in my life. I can relate to cutting people out of your life, but I also have the problem of being cut out of people's lives, namely my family.

Almost 6 years ago now, my mother got terribly upset over a misunderstanding that somehow horribly erupted over me moving back to my hometown and wanting to be closer to my family. At the very moment when I was trying to break down some barriers in my family relationships, my mother freaked out and said she can't deal with me and pushed me away, so my sisters copied her (they are all quite younger) and my step father as well said he doesn't have anything against me but can't talk to me b/c he doesn't want to upset my mother.

Since then I have tried everything and over the last 2 years I have had so much anxiety and depression that I was suicidal and cried out for help from them and other few family members (our family is small). They chose to push me away again, not helping or supporting me. That is my big problem, they don't support me or want to speak to me and though I am better now as far as being depressed, my life is so sad and I don't have any close relationships.

I am afraid the pain of losing my family and losing my significant other (that spurred the depression 2 years ago) is too much for me and I now am so stressed all the time and don't have the cozy, love-type attachments that I want or that are good for me. Sometimes it just overwhelms me and I realize how vacant my life is. How do I ever trust loving people again and how do I find some nice sensitive people that I can trust in the first place now that I am so broken/shocked?