please help anxiety issues

Paullittle · Post by **Paullittle** » Sun Mar 08, 2009 3:33 pm

I recently got engaged and moved in with my fiance. in the first part of our relationship everything was great and i felt like i was her world. but now i have so many thoughts going through my head and cant control them. so many anxieties that i cant even be myself. i feel like i over react to everything plus jealousy even though she has never given me a reason to be. has definitely taken a toll on me. and i try to talk about it but its so many thoughts that i cant name them all and they just keep coming up day by day. so from that she feels as if im unhappy with her. so as a defense mechanism she resorts to being cold or i cant be around you right now. so i go try to apologize and she has no emotion at all. just a attitude like i could care less if you are here or not. i really am horrible at putting my emotions into words but i feel like im causing us to be unhappy if any one has any advice on how to help me not make every single thing a big deal and everything that happens is my fault help!!!!

johnboy11 · Post by **johnboy11** » Sun Mar 08, 2009 3:44 pm

When i first had my panic attacks my fiance thought i was doing it for attention and thought that there was nothing wrong with me.She was unfamiliar with anxiety because her and her family never had any problems with it.She gave me the cold shoulder a lot and pretended not to care.She done a little research and found out that 30 million americans have anxiety so now she is very supportive.Your fiance probably just needs to do a little research on it and she will find that it's a common condition.It's harder to get through anxiety when your fiance doesn't understand it.I hope i have helped a little.

Leopolda · Post by **Leopolda** » Mon Mar 09, 2009 2:32 am

You need to open up and tell her what is going on inside of you and all of your racing thoughts. This is not your fault. You are here and trying to get help. Like Johnboy11 said, you need to educate her. Get her some books or go online and get some information. I hope you have the program because you will be able to concur your fears with it. Best of luck.

Leopolda

Tysmom · Post by **Tysmom** » Mon Mar 09, 2009 3:12 am

Stay strong....

Juno · Post by **Juno** » Mon Mar 09, 2009 9:59 am

I'm going throught the same thing with my boyfriend who I live with. I think it might be easier being the female with anxiety. He was cold like you describe at first till he listened to the cd designed for him on this program and read the sections designed for him in the workbook. Now he is really helpful and supportive even when I accuse him of things he hasn't done. Trust me, I'm worse than you.
But now he understands that I'm not doing this on purpose to manipulate or hurt or get attention. I like that the program tells the partner to just not treat it like a big deal and go on. We talked about it together and that's what we try to do, not let it affect us. I'm sure if you really explain how anxiety works she will understand. Best wishes!

Paullittle · Post by **Paullittle** » Tue Mar 10, 2009 2:52 pm

well i havent recieved the kit yet but ive been trying lately to try and look at the positive in every situation. even though pride makes me more stubborn and not want to admit the fact i could be wrong. but it helps a little... im so ready to get tha kit and conquer all of this but thanx yall for relating. even though it sux going through it. i guess misery loves company lol!!