over thinking everything

lovely24 · Post by **lovely24** » Wed Jan 21, 2009 8:32 am

I have completed the program and have improved my life alot.My problem that I have alot of trouble with is negative thinking.I am constantly feeling like other people are thinking negative thoughts about me.I feel like the world is against me.I constantly feel like I am never good enough.I over analyze everything and I feel like I need everybody to tell me that I am fine I don't get that approval from myself.I was just wandering if anybody else has the same issues that I have because I feel like I am alone in this!

lion24 · Post by **lion24** » Wed Jan 21, 2009 9:31 am

Congratulations on completing the program! Woo hoo! You go!!! I haven't even started yet, still waiting for mine to arrive. How long did it take you to get through it?

You know what, I feel the same way as you, I could get 10 compliments and 1 negative remark and guess what I focus on. I'm way too sensitive and seem to take everything personally.

It is definitely something we have to work on, even if we have to say to ourselves "don't take this personally" and "it's him/her/them, not me", "I know I'm really not like that" many times throughout the day. I think sooner or later it will sink in, but it took us how many years to get this way, it is probably going to take a while to undo it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 21, 2009 2:01 pm

Lovely24. you are not alone. I constantly wonder and worry about what people think of me. I have learned to take compliments and just say thank you. But in my head, I still worry or just think about it. I never seem to get enough approval from others - that's how I feel - not neccesarily what is going on.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 21, 2009 2:07 pm

That was my first post. I have only just gotten started last weekend. I think that what would help me most is positive self-talk. I have had depression for 14 years and would like to get off the medication. I have tried a few times before and always end up going back on. I can't function if not. I would just lay in my bed and think negative thoughts.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 21, 2009 3:04 pm

Hi Lovely24. I'm pretty sure I know exactly how you feel. I have felt that way for most of my life. Back when I was in highschool I would be sitting in the caf eating lunch & I would glance around feeling as though anyone that looked at me was automatically thinking how ugly my outfit was or how stupid my hair or make up looked or how ridiculous my presentation was in class. If there was a group of people at my table talking & someone looked my way & then one of their friends said something funny that made everyone laugh, then I was convinced that they were laughing at me or making fun of me. Same thing when I would go to work - I was convinced that my boss was always thinking that I wasn't doing a good enough job. I found that over time, I couldn't keep thinking that everyone was having as many negative thoughts as I imagined that they were. I started to reverse the negatives to positives as kind of a game with myself to see if it would change the way I felt when other's thoughts were unknown. It kind of worked - to the point where I can now function around people with out analyzing what may be running through their minds. I also found that telling myself that people around me see & do tons of things everyday & that I (seeing me or talking to me) was a minor occurance in their day & that by tomorrow they will not remember what I said or did. I told myself that what I did or said wasn't really that important to anyone in the grand scheme of things. I found that usually it is our own imagination that starts this pattern of thought and then it is our own inner voice that turns things negative. Everytime you think someone is thinking something bad about you, then turn around and cancel it out with a (realistic) positive thought instead. Since you never will really know what they are thinking (if anything) then it doesn't hurt to imagine good things that will compliment you & build up your self-esteem instead!!
Good luck! It will get better!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 21, 2009 3:15 pm

Hello!Yes I think the same way!I'm trying to except and like myself.Don't give up.It takes practice but I really think if we really focus on getting approval from ourselves it will eventually become a good habit.I try and get approval and acceptance from other people all the time and I truly believe that it's definitely only making me worse.The healing comes from within and that means really believing,trusting,and accepting ourselves for who we are.Great job on completing the program!

Take care and I wish you the best!

baby_g · Post by **baby_g** » Fri Mar 27, 2009 8:09 am

I finally sat one day and thought, here I am with pretty much everyone in my life telling me how wondeful I am and I spend all of my time trying to convince myself that they're wrong...??? How ridiculous! We need to accept all of the love from anyone who's willing to dish it out to us.