One Small Sucess One Large Dose Of Self Esteem

[bradley1960]

I recently got the internet at home so I decided to re-join this forum with dedication like never before. Therefore I thought it appropriate to start the course from beginning to end. Last week during session three difficulty reared it's ugly head at work. A car came in with a huge coolant leak so I couldn't run the engine or drive the car. I diagnosed the coolant leak and warned of possible overheat damages. My boss sold the repairs. After repairing the leak the engine had no overheat problems in the bay so I road tested it. The roadtest revealed the brakes were hanging up at stops, there were suspension and steering problems (not detectable with the visual inspection I had done) and several drivability issues with the way it ran. The clients daughter had been driving the car and had not reported any symptoms to our client. Our client was not happy putting the cost of repairs into the car in it's present condition as cost of the additional needed repairs outweighed the value of the vehicle.

I immediately felt the adrenalin rush, my heart begin to race, and tightness in my chest. But this time instead of retreating and beating myself up for something beyond my control I applied the positive self talk and forced myself to join my boss in coming up with a solution, satisfactory to us and the client. Within a half hour an agreement had been made and I went back to work on the next vehicle productively. This is the first time in a long time during this type of difficulty didn't find me entertaining fearful thoughts and a two or three hour panic attack, greatly reducing my productivity. The boost of self esteem has spilled over into this week helping me to apply the things we learn in session three much quicker and created less dread as I prepare for work each morning!!!


Let me hear some of your successes big or small on this thread as we celebrate learning to be kinder and speak more respectfully to ourselves. Use what you learned in session two to control the anxiety, panic or depression and start typing now.

Bradley

[mtassinari]

Hey Bradley

I am not a mechanic myself but I can totally relate to dealing with technical problems at work and angry customers! These have produced for me symptoms very similar to the ones you describe. It is great to hear your story and I will keep it in mind next time I have a stressful event, hopefully I will have something to share soon!

Mike

[bradley1960]

Hey Mike;
I am sure if you stick to this program you will have something to post soon. I am very thankful to your response. The support on this format is always encouraging. You are on the right path by participating. I hope my slow response didn't cause any doubt in your mind. I have been dealing with power outages, loss of internet and cell services since December 21st and let a few of the old demons of anxiety creep back in. therefore I didn't try other resources I had to check this site. Don't let my bad practices stop you from coming out here regularly. I am back on track now and would love to hear some of the challenges you face. Sometimes just knowing someone cares and understands from the same view makes a world of difference. People (not just customers) can be difficult to deal with. But if we can take a moment to understand they are just people (same as you and I, with problems too) it makes for less fear and greater understanding and courage to face our own fears. A quote I often like to repeat to myself when I feel timid is "It is when we light a path for another that our own journey becomes brighter". Thank you for lighting my path.
Bradley

[munchkin51]

Dear Bradley:
I just wanted to let you know how proud I am of you and how you handled the problem at work. Good job.

Mike :
I have bend following your progress since you started the program. I have know dougt that you will have a sucess story for us soon.
Love and Peace,
Munchkin

[bradley1960]

thank you munchkin. You sound very positive and supportive. When people join each other for a common cause great things can be achieved. You are on a great site for support and encouragement. And offering the same to others does amazing good for oneself too. May you find success in this program and your quest for self improvement.
Bradley

[mtassinari]

Hey guys,

So I had an interesting experience recently, I went ice climbing with my friend from work. It's actually not as scary or dangerous as it might sound, but I was proud of myself for doing it! I had some physical symptoms on the way to the climbing location (mostly anticipation and what-if thinking as the other people in the car talked about conditions and how it was going to be super cold when we arrived). However, I was able to use some relaxation techniques to decrease these feelings.

When we got there it wasn't as cold or intense as I thought it might be. I did feel anxious before I started to climb, but I was able to tell myself that these feelings are normal in that situation. Looking back, I guess these were partly feelings of excitement!

Strangely, the part of the day when I came closest to panic was near the end of the day, after we had driven home and stopped for dinner. I think what happened was that I put pressure on myself to be really positive and happy the entire day (so that the people I was with would like me). By the end of the day, I was really tired and rather than accept this tiredness I found myself getting anxious and almost panicky that I was no longer upbeat and energetic (for a moment I thought I would need to ask my friend to pull off the road and let me out of the car). I did feel bad that I let these feelings start to get the best of me again, but I guess in the scope of the whole day it was not a huge deal. Going to try to listen to and express my feelings more in the future rather than ignore them and let them turn into anxiety.

[bradley1960]

excellent job mtassinari. Actions speak louder than words. Many times the afterglow of a success creates anxiety. But you said you thought you were going to have to ask the driver to pull over and let you out. But you didn't do that. another huge success. Celebrate. Great job!!!!
Bradley

[stilltrying1]

Great job at negotiating a solution. I can learn a lesson from this as I tend to run away from confrontation. I am not comfortable with conflict and get very nervous, which makes it hard for me to think straight. My hope is that the program will help me build my self-confidence and improve my self-talk skills. The self-talk is especially hard for me. Keep up the good work!

[mtassinari]

Hi stilltrying,
I also avoid conflict and I have trouble thinking straight when I get into a confrontation. What is really difficult is when the confrontation arises unexpectedly, I find myself just completely thrown and I scramble to de-escalate the confrontation, even if this means ignoring my own feelings and not standing up for myself.

My face also gets flushed VERY easily during even a small confrontation and this bothers me because I know the other person can see clearly that I am flustered.