While I don't quite understand all your reactions, J, I totally agree with you that Skyping therapy would not appeal to me. Writing would seem almost better. But, I suppose, for his clients around the world it may work. He did not mention Italy. We know who might be there. FR? I never understood why she took issue with me. After all, English is my second language too. She was fun at times.
And, yes, R, you are our ideal, ha ha. As soon as I'm done with my current novel, I'm picking up Dostoyevsky's The Eternal Husband sitting right here. Could that be a representation of you? Of DH? Mine has been around 51 years but he completely forgot the 50th, and the 51st. Who knows, maybe he'll drag me into the divorce court yet. You may know that joke of the old couple in the lawyer's office. When he asked why they want a divorce now they said, "The children are old enough."
Dear Diary
Re: Dear Diary
Hey ladies, are you ready for spring yet. J has an advantage due to living in the southern hemisphere....
All is f..... as normal for me, overall not having any fun. Enough me bad news and wish you all a happy day.
It has been nearly a month since I contributed.
Robins are not liking the fresh 8" snow.
Later
R
All is f..... as normal for me, overall not having any fun. Enough me bad news and wish you all a happy day.
It has been nearly a month since I contributed.
Robins are not liking the fresh 8" snow.
Later
R
-
tina martin
- Posts: 792
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm
Re: Dear Diary
My hope is you and J are too busy enjoying yourself. In April it will 5 years since LTT first entered my life. I tend to be a critic of technology but never of the self-help sites I've been lucky enough to experience. Here too, R, always thanks to you. I imagine the care of your mother is taking its toll. Brutal for everyone.
March came in like a lamb and is roaring out like a lion. No, the robins don't like it. Hardly see any. But even in the snow, the buds on trees are growing. Enjoy seeing them. Happy Easter to you and your family.
March came in like a lamb and is roaring out like a lion. No, the robins don't like it. Hardly see any. But even in the snow, the buds on trees are growing. Enjoy seeing them. Happy Easter to you and your family.
Re: Dear Diary
Hi Tina and R.!
Yes, Tina I have been incredibly busy with work and also I just got back from CT, where I went to give J. her baby shower.
I heard the baby's (his name is James) heart beat at the obstetrician's office and the shower was a success. Other then that, I'm almost always at work. I love it so much.
I'm sorry that I haven't been in touch as much as I'd like to, but that is a good thing. It means I'm well, safe, happy and busy.
Too much to write about now, but when I have a moment to gather my thoughts, I will update my diary.
R., I'm sorry that you are going through tough times. I've learned that tough times really, really do make us stronger. (if we survive)
Sometimes, when I don't think I can go another step, do you know? I do. Each step, especially in troubling times, or difficult times, brings us closer to being the person we want to be. (That's a lesson that I've learned)
So, R., I think you always have been the person you want to be. Don't ever forget that.
I've been following a nest of Eagles here in Florida on a daily basis. They have a live cam. in their nest and the two eaglets are named Hope and Honor. I've been watching since before Harriet, their mom, laid her eggs.
Hope and Honor are now 'branching', which basically means practicing leaving their nest. They 'fly' to taller branches in the tree with Harriet always watching from just a few feet away. Soon they will be leaving their nest. Will that be a sad day for me or will that be a happy day for me? For Harriet? One thing is for sure. The day they finally leave their nest it will be a super happy day for both Hope, and Honor too.
Love,
J.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Yes, Tina I have been incredibly busy with work and also I just got back from CT, where I went to give J. her baby shower.
I heard the baby's (his name is James) heart beat at the obstetrician's office and the shower was a success. Other then that, I'm almost always at work. I love it so much.
I'm sorry that I haven't been in touch as much as I'd like to, but that is a good thing. It means I'm well, safe, happy and busy.
Too much to write about now, but when I have a moment to gather my thoughts, I will update my diary.
R., I'm sorry that you are going through tough times. I've learned that tough times really, really do make us stronger. (if we survive)
Sometimes, when I don't think I can go another step, do you know? I do. Each step, especially in troubling times, or difficult times, brings us closer to being the person we want to be. (That's a lesson that I've learned)
So, R., I think you always have been the person you want to be. Don't ever forget that.
I've been following a nest of Eagles here in Florida on a daily basis. They have a live cam. in their nest and the two eaglets are named Hope and Honor. I've been watching since before Harriet, their mom, laid her eggs.
Hope and Honor are now 'branching', which basically means practicing leaving their nest. They 'fly' to taller branches in the tree with Harriet always watching from just a few feet away. Soon they will be leaving their nest. Will that be a sad day for me or will that be a happy day for me? For Harriet? One thing is for sure. The day they finally leave their nest it will be a super happy day for both Hope, and Honor too.
Love,
J.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
-
tina martin
- Posts: 792
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm
Re: Dear Diary
Never be concerned about posting, J, know you are good busy. James will delight everyone. Love the Eagles story. How incredible you are doing all you do. I am surprisingly calm and relaxed believing I can deal with whatever comes along, not afraid. That is how much the years of reading and thinking and posting have done for me. They've been fabulous for you too. Interesting about the person we want to be. Good Lord, I want to be a hermit but am happy as such.
So how about you, R? You must be with us on the sunny side of the street, xo, xo, xo.........t
So how about you, R? You must be with us on the sunny side of the street, xo, xo, xo.........t
Re: Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
B. is missing again. The last time I talked to her was 3/4/13. She's been seen in one of her crack houses/heroin dens and I was told by my 'informant' on the street that she is ok.
SHE IS NOT OK DIARY. SHE IS NOT OK, AND I YELLED (OR SPOKE LOUDLY) INTO THE EARS OF THE PERSON THAT TOLD ME THAT SHE IS OK.
B. is trapped. She was clean for 14 months and we talked every day, sometimes twice a day. Before that, I visited her in prison.
Upon her release she fought hard to remain clean and stay in her program because she knew that she never ever wanted to go back to prison.She is on Parole for 18 months, and with a violation she will be sent back to prison.
So, she is refusing to leave her crack house/heroin den, or so I've been told. She told me that she will kill herself before going back to prison. She told me she would take a lethal dose of drugs before ever going back to prison and I believed her when she told me. I have begged and begged her to stay clean, one day at a time, and she did it. The poor thing has everything stacked against her. The odds were never in her favor. She messed up and now she won't go to detox because that would mean turning herself in and detoxing in jail, which she has done before on riker's island.
diary, this is effecting my work. I can't work and pretend everything is fine. I'm trying so hard but it's pretty hard to sell people pretty things when my daughter is trapped. I don't think she will come out alive. I've been trying to work in the stock room but the owner wants me out on the floor and the sales associates working in the stock room. I don't blame her but at any minute I'm going to break down.
Dr. W. wanted me to welcome B back into my life but this is what I was protecting myself against. this unbelievable hurt that has been inside me for 17 or 18 years now. That's how long B has been a drug addict with an ED. Or, rather and ED and also an addict.
Diary, Brooke will not survive. She doesn't want to. She has told me, she doesn't want to. I won't survive either. I won't want to.
I have an emergency call into Dr. W. but I don't know what she will be able to tell me that will ease this pain.
Don't do drugs. It kills everyone. This will kill me.
Love,
Me.
B. is missing again. The last time I talked to her was 3/4/13. She's been seen in one of her crack houses/heroin dens and I was told by my 'informant' on the street that she is ok.
SHE IS NOT OK DIARY. SHE IS NOT OK, AND I YELLED (OR SPOKE LOUDLY) INTO THE EARS OF THE PERSON THAT TOLD ME THAT SHE IS OK.
B. is trapped. She was clean for 14 months and we talked every day, sometimes twice a day. Before that, I visited her in prison.
Upon her release she fought hard to remain clean and stay in her program because she knew that she never ever wanted to go back to prison.She is on Parole for 18 months, and with a violation she will be sent back to prison.
So, she is refusing to leave her crack house/heroin den, or so I've been told. She told me that she will kill herself before going back to prison. She told me she would take a lethal dose of drugs before ever going back to prison and I believed her when she told me. I have begged and begged her to stay clean, one day at a time, and she did it. The poor thing has everything stacked against her. The odds were never in her favor. She messed up and now she won't go to detox because that would mean turning herself in and detoxing in jail, which she has done before on riker's island.
diary, this is effecting my work. I can't work and pretend everything is fine. I'm trying so hard but it's pretty hard to sell people pretty things when my daughter is trapped. I don't think she will come out alive. I've been trying to work in the stock room but the owner wants me out on the floor and the sales associates working in the stock room. I don't blame her but at any minute I'm going to break down.
Dr. W. wanted me to welcome B back into my life but this is what I was protecting myself against. this unbelievable hurt that has been inside me for 17 or 18 years now. That's how long B has been a drug addict with an ED. Or, rather and ED and also an addict.
Diary, Brooke will not survive. She doesn't want to. She has told me, she doesn't want to. I won't survive either. I won't want to.
I have an emergency call into Dr. W. but I don't know what she will be able to tell me that will ease this pain.
Don't do drugs. It kills everyone. This will kill me.
Love,
Me.
-
tina martin
- Posts: 792
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm
Re: Dear Diary
This is so, so painful to read and contemplate, J. Wish I were there to hold you and tell you, "You must be strong." Brutal, brutal, brutal, yes, but you must go on.
You know I am not Christian but the concepts of Forgiveness and Love are everything. The parting words from my brother when I last saw him were, "Please forgive me." As far as I'm concerned he committed S. I think that is why it was always so unbearable. He died last year. I think I finally forgive him and myself. He lives on in my heart. So it must be with B, you must forgive her and yourself. At work you might want to speak up to get a reprieve for a short time. Love always.......t
PS. I gave this to my subconscious over night not knowing what to say. Still don't really know what to say. Such great sorrow and heartache.
You know I am not Christian but the concepts of Forgiveness and Love are everything. The parting words from my brother when I last saw him were, "Please forgive me." As far as I'm concerned he committed S. I think that is why it was always so unbearable. He died last year. I think I finally forgive him and myself. He lives on in my heart. So it must be with B, you must forgive her and yourself. At work you might want to speak up to get a reprieve for a short time. Love always.......t
PS. I gave this to my subconscious over night not knowing what to say. Still don't really know what to say. Such great sorrow and heartache.
Re: Dear Diary
That news surely sucks J. Knowing me I will get straight to the point and that is you must step up as you do and put on your happy face. The only chance the girl has is in you. She has lost by bad choices made and not much of anything else. Only she can do it and the odds are against her at holding up a wall determind to crush, a few have done it.
As for you, you know how and what it is to get this far and there is no turning back. You must keep YOU in the game.
Here is a glass of Faith and a Plate of perceverance and all the love and prayer we can give for dessert. We are here, we cannot sail your ship allthough I have faith you are in Gods hands.
R
As for you, you know how and what it is to get this far and there is no turning back. You must keep YOU in the game.
Here is a glass of Faith and a Plate of perceverance and all the love and prayer we can give for dessert. We are here, we cannot sail your ship allthough I have faith you are in Gods hands.
R
Re: Dear Diary
Dear R. and T.,
Thank you so much for your loving words. I have not heard from B., I cannot sleep and I confess that I can see the end for my daughter. I don't see any other way that this will end. Today I have a super horrible migraine so I'm using this Easter holiday to rest up for the week ahead.
Dr. W. told me to nourish myself and care for myself.
I have another daughter who has refused to let B. back into her life for this very reason. She needed to protect herself from this kind of pain, and I respect that.
I will do my best to focus on the arrival of my new grandson James, but it's hard when I know what B. is suffering through.
I also know how she is paying for her addiction.
Jesus forgave all of us sinners and today is the celebration of his resurrection. I'm just not feeling it, but I suppose it is in moments and times like this that we need our faith the most.
Happy Easter and Love always,
J.
Thank you so much for your loving words. I have not heard from B., I cannot sleep and I confess that I can see the end for my daughter. I don't see any other way that this will end. Today I have a super horrible migraine so I'm using this Easter holiday to rest up for the week ahead.
Dr. W. told me to nourish myself and care for myself.
I have another daughter who has refused to let B. back into her life for this very reason. She needed to protect herself from this kind of pain, and I respect that.
I will do my best to focus on the arrival of my new grandson James, but it's hard when I know what B. is suffering through.
I also know how she is paying for her addiction.
Jesus forgave all of us sinners and today is the celebration of his resurrection. I'm just not feeling it, but I suppose it is in moments and times like this that we need our faith the most.
Happy Easter and Love always,
J.