Don't Do it!! Don't take that "break"

[Iwillbebetter]

I have had a few times while doing this program that I have had to stop for a moment. Or didn't even have to but just chose to for one reason or another. Each time I was able to see the affect on me, and it was NOT good. Just one day will start it. Keeping at it daily, while working to change ourselves I beleive to be nessicary!! I decided a while back I would not do it again. Not only did I start to "revert" back to my old self, but then when getting back to it, that also seemed harder. The motivation/desire was not nearly as strong as it had been before "breaking". Now I am in session 9 and getting ready to move this weekend. I decided I am far enough, I can keep it in my mind daily and be ok. Figured I would be fine now to take a small break, as I have sooo much to do with moving a family of 5. As long as I stay aware of it I'll be ok.

HAHAHAHAHA guess I thought wrong. Today, I will be listening to session 9 again. Tomorrow I will get out my workbook. I will not/can not take anymore breaks. It is so easy to lose the skills, when we have not fully developed them. Just as with anything we are trying to learn. If you take a spanish class get 1/4 of the way, feel like you are starting to learn, then take even a month off, and go back to class, you are probably not going to remember much of what you had already learned!! So NO more breaks for ME, and I would suggest you think twice if you are thinking of taking a break yourself, no matter what the reason!!

[tina martin]

This is a wonderful post of affirmation and commitment. Even if it is just a few moments, every minute counts. Praise yourself for whatever time and effort you can devote to what is so important. Hurray for you (and your darling children).

Moves are very energy draining. I know, made several cross country moves. Ask BF to pitch in. They are generally stronger physically, don't know what to do (joking), but we can help them, ha ha.

[SoWhatif]

Iwill be better,

To use a metaphor you are correct that we must paint the fence every day to keep it bright. What I found for me is that I needed to identify and remove the things that kept taking the paint away everyday leaving the fence gray rough and dull.

Untill I realized and acted upon the influences creating the paint remover, it was or is a constant struggle of energy and effort wasted that gradually takes us down. Do you have a accountibilty partner, counsler or mentor that would help?

Or if you want to share the burdon in the closet here, we could maybe help debate or identify the causes. They are why the crash comes, and not being able to take a break without a crash.
Go you for effort and awareness.

R

[Iwillbebetter]

Thank you Tina Yes I had to get over myself and let him help. At first I was like no don't do that, you can't do it like that etc.. then I said you know wait a minute... I appreciate your help and however you do it is just fine with me, as long as it gets done!!

Sowhatif, I love your Metaphor. I never really thought about it that way, but it makes soooo much sense!! I do not have any accountability partners, counselors or mentors. I have been pretty much doing it on my own.

The first thing that comes to my mind when reading your metaphor, one of the things "tearing my paint" I think could be my lack of assertiveness. I have been able to see lately how I have "let" people treat me, which in turns makes them also beleive it's ok (Mainly with my boyfriend and children) I am working at correcting/changing that, but just as changing things within ourselves, it's not an overnight thing. I am getting better at speaking up, but not always, and I think I get down on myself more than I should when I don't. Or that I am able to change my re-action, but still not in the way I would like.

And thank you

[tina martin]

R can indeed come up with fabulous metaphors. It is that right brain of his, very well developed.

And here is where we can empty the closets and help sort out the contents: discards, keep, ignore, replenish, etc., a communal effort. Can work wonders.

[Iwillbebetter]

Yea maybe it is time for some "spring cleaning" there also. Maybe that is holding me back. I know I am realizing that where I am is due to me and my way of thinking and re-acting. Although I have spent most of my life blaming in on family and situations. I thought I had "let go" of things, but maybe they do still linger..... Can't get to where I want to go if I'm holding on to to much from before!! It's slowing me down. I guess doing it on my own, things like that I don't even know where to start.

[tina martin]

Our past and family do contribute to our issues, no doubt about it. It helps to understand how this happened and then work at retraining our thinking (CBT and the program). It may seem overwhelming, but we can take one thing at a time and keep at it. Patience and Persistence.

[lucy knepp]

Don't use it.lose it! If you need to step away ok but it's gonna catch up to you. Hanging in there one day at a time is best. I found if I improvise it's ok. If I feel too regimented I get claustrophobic like I am locked in and can't escape so I will skip to a different session and then get back on track. It's like eating right as opposed to a rigid diet. Sometimes you have that no no, then get back on track.