i can really use some advise or support on this...
i can really use some advise or support on this...
I was just out to lunch with my cousin who is practically my older brother. Someone that i have looked up too my whole life. I brought up the program to him and telling him all about it and then it led to telling him some of the things ive been going lately and he got really mad at me... saying things like i have gotten very weird.. and i have nothing going on at all its all just a bunch of crap and that we all have anxiety and i just cant seem to handle life... i guess it just hit me really hard and i really dont know how to respond to that... it made me feel like a nut job adn i belong in a hospital or something... any help would be nice
Re: i can really use some advise or support on this...
Josh,
He hasn't been where you have--remember the old Indian saying about walking in an Indian's moccasins for a day. Well, he doesn't have the vaguest clue what you are going through. Most of our friends and spouses don't. He sounds like he could be more empathetic, but that isn't how he is and you just have to accept him the way he is. My therapist told me something yesterday that really applies to this situation. He said not to buy into what other people say too much. Another thing he said that I liked is "You don't have to get on his train", i.e., let him go on, but you don't have to go with him.
You are NOT a nut job. There are lots of people in our condition and the smart ones admit it and help themselves. You should be proud of what you are doing for yourself, but you may want to be more discreet in whom you confide in the future. A lot of people stigmatize what they mistakenly consider mental illness. You are not mentally ill. A lot of very famous and accomplished people have suffered from anxiety and depression and had very successful lives.
I know your cousin hurt you, but don't start believing him because he is way off base!! Listen to the people who know what they are talking about and have been through what you are going through. Sorry he reacted the way he did, but he wasn't equipped with the knowledge to understand what you were trying to tell him.
He hasn't been where you have--remember the old Indian saying about walking in an Indian's moccasins for a day. Well, he doesn't have the vaguest clue what you are going through. Most of our friends and spouses don't. He sounds like he could be more empathetic, but that isn't how he is and you just have to accept him the way he is. My therapist told me something yesterday that really applies to this situation. He said not to buy into what other people say too much. Another thing he said that I liked is "You don't have to get on his train", i.e., let him go on, but you don't have to go with him.
You are NOT a nut job. There are lots of people in our condition and the smart ones admit it and help themselves. You should be proud of what you are doing for yourself, but you may want to be more discreet in whom you confide in the future. A lot of people stigmatize what they mistakenly consider mental illness. You are not mentally ill. A lot of very famous and accomplished people have suffered from anxiety and depression and had very successful lives.
I know your cousin hurt you, but don't start believing him because he is way off base!! Listen to the people who know what they are talking about and have been through what you are going through. Sorry he reacted the way he did, but he wasn't equipped with the knowledge to understand what you were trying to tell him.
Re: i can really use some advise or support on this...
Hi Josh,
The good news is, you're not a nut job
While yes, everyone has anxiety in their life, people with Generalize Anxiety Disorder suffer from an overwhelming amount of anxiety in their lives, more than the average person. People who love us aren't always the most supportive because they don't understand. For myself personally, I've come to learn that some people whether they may be family or friends are not "go to" people to talk to about my anxiety or fears. But there are others you can discuss your anxiety with, even if it's a complete stranger on a message board. Welcome to the program, I know it has brought and continues to bring so much comfort to me, I hope it does the same for you.
The good news is, you're not a nut job
While yes, everyone has anxiety in their life, people with Generalize Anxiety Disorder suffer from an overwhelming amount of anxiety in their lives, more than the average person. People who love us aren't always the most supportive because they don't understand. For myself personally, I've come to learn that some people whether they may be family or friends are not "go to" people to talk to about my anxiety or fears. But there are others you can discuss your anxiety with, even if it's a complete stranger on a message board. Welcome to the program, I know it has brought and continues to bring so much comfort to me, I hope it does the same for you.-
Iwillbebetter
- Posts: 484
- Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:35 am
- Location: Minnesota
Re: i can really use some advise or support on this...
Josh,
I am sorry to hear of what your cousin said!! Don't take it and internalize it though!! Yes everyone does have some anxieties and what not, unfortunaly not all of use are equipt with the skills to deal with it as other do. It's not as easy for us to "just get over it". You are NOT a nut job!! You are not even close!! The fact that you question it says your not!! Someone once said to me, if you have to ask, you are not, as if you were crazy, you would not think you were, you would know you were not!! I agree with Samcat and Gigi, not everyone even those close are good for "go to" people. People that dont' deal with it, really just don't understand, as their minds don't work as ours, they don't over analyse things, they don't internalize things, etc so they can't understand why/how anyone else would/could. Don't take the things he said personally, that is just "his understanding" of things.
The program suggests a book - what to say when you talk to yourself by Shad Helmstetter. I have just started it, but think it might be a good one for you to check out also!!
I know someone so close to you, saying the things he did, hurts, but I'm sure his intent was not to hurt you, he just doesn't understand!! Like Samcat said, don't get on his train!!
I am sorry to hear of what your cousin said!! Don't take it and internalize it though!! Yes everyone does have some anxieties and what not, unfortunaly not all of use are equipt with the skills to deal with it as other do. It's not as easy for us to "just get over it". You are NOT a nut job!! You are not even close!! The fact that you question it says your not!! Someone once said to me, if you have to ask, you are not, as if you were crazy, you would not think you were, you would know you were not!! I agree with Samcat and Gigi, not everyone even those close are good for "go to" people. People that dont' deal with it, really just don't understand, as their minds don't work as ours, they don't over analyse things, they don't internalize things, etc so they can't understand why/how anyone else would/could. Don't take the things he said personally, that is just "his understanding" of things.
The program suggests a book - what to say when you talk to yourself by Shad Helmstetter. I have just started it, but think it might be a good one for you to check out also!!
I know someone so close to you, saying the things he did, hurts, but I'm sure his intent was not to hurt you, he just doesn't understand!! Like Samcat said, don't get on his train!!
"Only rainbows after rain, the sun will always come again, and it's a cirlce, circling around again it comes around again...."
Re: i can really use some advise or support on this...
Josh, everyone has left you wonderful advice. I couldn't have said it better. I just realized two months ago that I had anxiety/panic disorder, and at first I was mad and maybe even judgmental because I thought I was mentally ill and I did not want that stigma, especially after the successful life I have had. Shame on me and anyone else who doesn't understand. I'm humbled now and know it can happen to anyone, and I now want to help people with disorders and mental illness which are two different things. Everyone has anxiety and panic but people like us w generalized anxiety disorder sometimes feel anxious and panic when there is no reason too. I explained it to some of my loved ones like this, "Imagine your walking down a road all alone late at night, and then a huge barking pitbull starts chasing you. Your reaction is to panic and flee, and your adrenaline is going crazy." Ppl with Anxiety/panic disorder feel that way while laying in bed, or watching a movie or just when they are doing normal things. Our minds are telling us to flight or flee for no reason. Then they felt really bad and have been super supportive
If you think your crazy you are not, if you don't think your crazy then maybe. I think we are all blessed because once you feel better, it will be an opportunity for you. For me I have learned to live in the moment and enjoy one day at a time, I have recognized things about myself that I could improve on, like being less controlling of my life and more in control in the right ways. I wish you the best
If you think your crazy you are not, if you don't think your crazy then maybe. I think we are all blessed because once you feel better, it will be an opportunity for you. For me I have learned to live in the moment and enjoy one day at a time, I have recognized things about myself that I could improve on, like being less controlling of my life and more in control in the right ways. I wish you the best
Re: i can really use some advise or support on this...
thank you all for your great advise! it really has made me feel much better about it! it did hurt to hear but like all of you said he just doesnt understand whats going on and i think it frustrates him. i know it really frustrated me at first! but the program and the online support is really helping me see whats going on with me adn im not alone! thanks everybody!!!
Re: i can really use some advise or support on this...
No one can take better care of you then you. Sometimes friends and family don't want to see us change. I think it frightens them. Best of luck.