New To Program

[Iwillbebetter]

Why Hello to you also and Happy Sunday
That's neat that you use to teach pre-school!! I would love to do something like that. Or to run a in-home daycare. Maybe someday. Our living arrangments don't really allow for that (with my boyfriend working nights and sleeping days) I have ALWAYS had a special place in my heart for children though.
I love your idea on calm in and peace out I will deffinately use that. I have been keeping at it and practicing throughout the day. Especially in those stressful moments!! I think I am finally beginning to get it, although I know I still have a long ways to go, but it's nice to know I will be able to do it.

** The sun will shine, it's up to us to see it **

[Iwillbebetter]

Tina, I missed you today Hope all is well!! Thanks for that suggestion of the calm for in breaths and peace for the out breaths!! That helped a lot. I was able to sit for a bit longer using that!! Again hope all is well

[tina martin]

How sweet of you to ask. The truth is I put in so much time trying to keep myself in shape and well that I wonder how I ever raised children and worked as you are doing. When I was in your situation I could not have done any of what you are doing to try and help yourself, all of which is so admirable. Today I'm off to the eye doctor, but will still make time to meditate and exercise.

And how are you doing? And your dear children?

[Iwillbebetter]

It seemed you come on at least once a day, so when you didn't I was slightly worried, figured you probably just had other things going on, but wanted to make sure.
Thank you for that, at times it can be harder than others. I think with it all, I was getting to my "breaking point" they way I was going just wasn't working and I couldn't keep doing that to my kids or myself.Luckily work is only part-time, 15 hours a week = 3 - 5 hour days. Although it is still quite hard to find that "balance" to be able to do what I need for me and still be there for them. And I do still find myself quite often especially when I am trying to do something for "me" and the kids won't allow. I say ugh, why do I think I can do this. I just don't have the time. Etc. (I am finally starting to be able to stop those thoughts when they come, instead of feeding them)
I am doing GREAT!!! I have made a few "realizations" the past few days, which have really helped to open my eyes. Long into short My boyfriend and I (together 4 years, friends 8-9 years) have not had the best of relationship, although not the worst either. But being is session 3, I realized that I have had a lot to do with where we are. I kinda doomed us before we even started. Specifically I recalled even thinking right at the beginning, something along the lines of, it's not a matter we will last, it more like how long. I knew before we started that we would not last. What a way to start a relationship. That brought be to realize a few other things I've done to "doom" us. That's not to say it's all me, don't get me wrong. He has certianly played his part, but with that we had a LONG talk the other night, and have decided to "start over" It was so nice to be able to actually be able to voice myself and actually say what I was thinking or feeling!! The whole time we've been together I've never been able to do that. I'm more the one to hold it, hold it and then finally blow... Or at least I WAS
Kids are doing GREAT also!! I have also been focusing on them while working on myself. It's been amazing to see them growing also. They are adjusting just wonderfully!!! Even my eldest. He has been very receptive. I've always been pretty open with him. although there are things I've hid (that I hide from everyone...) but for the most part.
Anyway I guess I've gotten a bit out, I better get going. Glad you are doing ok I hope the eye doctor goes well good for you to still get your excersizing and meditating.

[tina martin]

We ladies have the problem of not speaking up. This comes from historical and lifelong conditioning. So it is good that you are addressing issues (gently) with boy friend. How is he with your children? Can he help? How to find time for yourself is tricky, to be sure. Is there a harder job than raising children, a 24/7 job? Not that I know of. It takes ingenuity to find time for yourself. I was not averse to TV that I thought was OK sometimes. When they were a little older I thought NOVA had merit. They drifted off in no time right then and there. We still joke about it.

You have marvelous qualities that will see you through. And your children will thrive because what they need above all is love and clearly they get that in abundance from you.

[Iwillbebetter]

I would have to agree, speaking up does seem to be more of a issue then for men. Thank you I am quite proud of myself I'm finally doing it, not just hearing about it or thinking about it I am doing it
Yes he is VERY good with the kids. My youngest is the only one biologically his, but by the way he acts, you would NEVER know!! It's funny that you say that, that actually came up this morning before he went to bed we had a discussion about it. (I will be making a seperate post) But the end result, he doesn't work tonight so after work I'm going to stop at the store, pick up some yoga items (I found I need some blocks I'm not very flexible and need the props ) and candles and basically some things for me to work on my relaxation and things...
He has actually tried a few times in the past to allow me to have some time for me. To get out and do things. I for some reason seem to hold these feelings/thoughts that it's not OK. I should be here for my kids. Etc... I'm starting to realize that is a silly way to think.
I am not very fond of the TV either. I limit it around here. Kids are allowed 1 "mindless" show a day then if/when it's on otherwise, I am in control and I'm big on learning shows (all about teaching the kids...) After bed, I use to watch about an hour of TV before I went to bed, that was my wind down/relaxation time. I haven't been doing that for the past few weeks. Now after kids go to bed, depending on mood and what I was able to do during the day, I will either give the yoga a shot, read some of my book or other things for Me. More relaxed but productive
And thank you so much for that last thing, that means so much to me. Deep down I know it, but it's so easy to forget so for someone else to point it out means SOOOO much!!!
* Figuring since you didn't mention it all went well, but wanted to ask anyway, how did the Eye Dr. go?

[tina martin]

Your man sounds heavenly: hardworking, caring, considerate, loving. Men are evolving thanks to us ladies (!). The trick is to convince them that they are the sun, moon, and stars while we know who is really the source of all thing (us), ha ha. TV is mostly a waste but has its uses for relaxing, unwinding, dozing.

Now yoga is something else. Have been into it for years. Do some Sun Salutations most days. Taught it to the Old Man here who learned it and does it. Recently I've taken to tai chi/qi gong and we do that together too. Wonderful. All of this can be for children too. Can recommend Babar's Yoga for Elephants. Teaches plenty to anyone, old or young. Of course, always caution. You may want yoga just for yourself. Perfectly understandable.

Eye doctor went well: will need a cataract out (had one done), but no rush. Will get my courage up in a few months. You make life beautiful for your family and for us here. Smile for you.

[faith4]

Thanks Tina, and thank you Iwillbebetter, I will absolutely have to continue with this meditation. To give the mind peace and stillness is what I am striving for. To rid myself of continuous racing thoughts of the times of my life that have been of horrible expeience. To do the tape 3x a day is hard to fit into one schedule. Things may get easier after the holidays but for now only once a day is all I can do. But did find out I am able to do lucinda's relaxation tape on my own after I had worn out the personal cd player I was using,,,,,,so guided myself through it and guided myself to sleep. Thanks for your support and insight to keep me from not giving up

[Iwillbebetter]

Tina, Sorry I didn't respond last night, I came on and made a post or two that took longer than I thought, and it got late. Anyway, Thanks for taking the time eachday to respond. I really appreciate it and it really means a lot to me!! You help inspire me and keep me going.
Yes he is a great man, and I'm so lucky to not have lost him before I was able to see just how wonderful he is!! I love the way you said that to, so true!! I'm learning!! It's funny not realizing but I pretty much expected him to treat me better than I treated him. But that is all changing now!! And I'm loving it. We were just talking last night, and he has even noticed my oldest son is showing some "change" also. I said well of course look at all the change in the house (as me and him are now REALLY working on things also so our relationship has drastically changed along with my changes) I said he's still young enough, they are US right now. They act from what they see and feel at home. But it's nice to be able to see the affects. That makes it easier to "keep on it"
I've only tried the Yoga thing a couple times at home, but I like it so far and am excited to learn more. I looked up a few classes I could take close to home. I think I'll wait til after the holidays to start that. I did go and buy a "beginner kit" so now I have another video, the matt (I love the markers so I can make sure feet are correct and things) block and strap. I got to use it yesterday, My daughter got up with me this morning so I'll probably give it a shot durning nap time today. I think doing it with the family would be great, but with the younger ones, at least until I know more of what I'm doing is just easier on my own. I did see a class or two that were "family" geared I might look at one of those at least to bring the little ones with. (oldest is in Karate and a few things so he might not be able to join)
Glad the appointment went well, sorry you have to get cataract out, but at least you have a idea what to expect since you had it done before, so it shouldn't be as scary. I would at least wait for after the holidays personally keep me posted.
Thank you, I'm starting to finally see just how beautiful life can really be!!

[Iwillbebetter]

Faith, glad to hear from you!!! Yes I didn't realize before, but the relaxation is so important. It is probably one of the most important tools/skills we can learn!! Now that I'm finally starting to "get it" it's amazing what it can do for you!! I have been using the "breathing" I'm learning from the meditation to calm myself in my many frustrating moment during the day, which enables me to no react right away but to be able to process and then react, wow!!
That's awesome you were able to do the Lucinda CD on your own, guess you were getting it more than you realized. I think that comes with repitition also. The more you practice the more it sinks in, sometimes without us even realizing!!!
Keep us posted.