Starting again and getting it right

[Dianne H.G.]

Howdy SOOs - Hey Matt, I bet you could find that book on Amazon.com, sometimes they have used books and music for only a dollar or so plus shipping - I might try to find it. I think I'm getting better with the approval addiction UNTIL somebody challenges me, then I go after them! I really feel for you with that district manager - he/she must feel so 'powerful' from being able to have that position to puff up from - ha! Ya know what? Those types are insecure, they are not better than us, they just deal with stuff differently, oftentimes by being intimidating a-holes! Am I right? So I always remember, when I'm in a manager position, how NOT to be to others, and to be the type of manager I would want. You made me laugh with your story, though about the mouse squeak voice - I never heard it put quite that way! So the humor is a good way to deal with it, even though the experience is not too great. Just keep sharing, we are here to listen. I witnessed someone getting put down in front of others today, and I just hate that. It goes on all over all the time, and to me, it's just wrong, but I'm learning from the program about how to keep a perspective. I'll let you know if I find that book. Dianne

[GirlWisdom]

Hi Sherrie. Thank you for the nice welcome back. It's good to be missed. I missed you too, and all of you. Sherrie it sounds like your on the right track and going ahead with great enthusiasm. Keep up the great work. I agree with your post 100%. I'm on session 2 now. I'm sorry I haven't been on here in a couple of days, and the other day I posted and it didn't go through. That frustrates me. Lol.
I just want to say welcome Bracken! How are you doing with the program? How is everyone else doing? It's amazing how many posts we have here since Sherrie started it. I replied to her first post, and wow look at us now. This is great! There is strength in numbers, and we are all going to recover with each others help, and the help of our heavenly Father. Take care for now, and I'll post again soon.

Hugs and Peace

[Janet S. C.]

Hello everyone, WOW! I just read all of your posts and I am so amazed at how good it made me feel, I was suppose to start over again awhile ago and didn't, after reading these post I know I have the courage to start again, before I was afarid to start over, thinking I wouldn't make it through just like the other times, but now I am excited about starting again, thank you all so much...Janet

[MS_RNJ]

Hi, I too have decided to start over. It is comforting to hear that others are doing the same. I did complete the program and I have noticed a dramatic decrease in my panic attacks. However what I have noticed is that all of my insecurities (mostly about how I feel about myself/view myself) have surfaced and I have become very aware of them. Where as before my insecurities were being masked by the stress and anxiety. What is worse is that I have conversations with friends both personal and business and they have made comments or suggestions about getting positive affirmation books or face your fear by taking action. I noticed that I have become so self conscious of everything that I do and say that I feel I have become my own worst enemy. Before I could put on a really good front and then have my panic attacks away from everyone. Now I am embarrassed to be in public because I seem to wear my insecurities on my sleeve. I am not trying to but I do and I don't know to deal with it. Being so self conscious and insecure is affecting me more now than I thought the panic attacks ever did.
Through the program I realized that I based how I felt daily was based on my accomplishments and successes. I don't really know how to feel good or what it is like to feel good. Someone made a comment-something like we've dealt with the panic attacks for a long time and now it is going to take a while to heal. I believe that wholeheartedly. I feel like to have gotten control over the panic attacks and I have learned what my triggers are. Now I need help to find out who I am and who I want to be and what that feels like. Feeling depressed or feeling ok is a feeling I know. Feeling good or feeling comfortable is one's own skins is something else. Has anyone else experienced these feelings? Thanks for all posts. Sometimes I feel alone and reading these posts make me realize that I am not.

[just my luck]

Hello SOOs First of all I would like to give a very big Welcome to Bracken and MS RNJ you both have made the best choice you can in starting over it's a good thing. I am, I know we all are pleased to have you join us and hear your stories too, it helps us all. Oh yes Diane I'm going to torment session 3 starting today. I've been a little slow in posting and I'm sorry about that. Life get's you busy sometimes. I let session two get me busy lol it's a good thing. Thank you Girl you are very good inspiration to us all and your words of wisdom lol and pictures too. I love how you write to us, both you and Diane have such great words for us all and I feel real good reading them all. You're right Diane laughter is the best thing we can do in times of stress. Janet that is good you are getting some support in reading all the others post everyone in here knows where we all are coming from with starting over. I love that you posted, it's good the hear from you as well as from all of you. Keep the post's going it is all so helpful to us all and I know it keeps me going and that the best thing I can do for myself. I'm looking forward to three I need to talk to myself better. Now that I'm controling my anxiety better I will learn to talk to myself better and even control my anxiety more. Keep up the good work you all I am for sure. Together we are strong and I'm glad to be here with you all SOOs. Have a Great and Blessed Day! Sherrie

[GirlWisdom]

Hi everyone! Welcome to the new people on this thread. I haven't been posting either in awhile Sherrie, as I haven't been feeling too well lately, but I'm still doing my session 2. Anyhow just letting you all know I'm thinking of you and I'm still on the bandwagon. LOL. Anyhow hope your all doing well too and keep up the good work.

Hugs and Peace!

[InChaos63]

Good evening SOO's. First of all, I wanted to let you know that I have started session 3, and I remember just how difficult it is. Something so simple as giving ourselves a positive thought can be one of the most difficult things in the world to do. This session really touches on some stuff that we had been discussing already. I've always considered myself to be a positive person, but this session has really stated how you can be giving yourself negative thoughts instead of positive and not really be aware of it. Lucinda is so good at stating the importance of this session. She also said that negative thinking is an addictive behavior. Now I have yet another addiction to add on to my list. The approval addiction, in a way, is related to the addiction of negative thinking. We are all looking for approval from outside sources instead of looking within ourselves. Dianne, I totally understand now why session three is so difficult. I don't really bombard myself with negative thoughts. But, on the other hand, my low self esteem doesn't usually allow for me to give myself self-praise. We're doing this remodel, in which we're getting screwed by this contractor. Well, he left ud high and dry, and that has left me to try to be doing as much of the rest of the work as in can. I've learned an awful lot by doing a lot of work myself. But instead of giving myself praise for the work that I've done, and being a perfectionist, I pick away at the work I haven't done perfectly or haven't done at all yet and become my own worst enemy, again. If things aren't going right, I stll have the tendency to call myself a failure. I allow my negative thoughts to overcrowd any victories I may have had. I'm learning from the session and I need to listen to it several more times to really burn it into my mind. I've always been so good at building up other people and making them feel good about themselves, but that's the opposite of what I do for myself. Ok, I'm starting to ramble on somewhat. Thanks Dianne, for giving me the insight that you have, because the things you say I can really relate to. I also appreciate all of the kind words. You, among some other people in this thread, are really an awesome inspiration for me, and I'm sure for many, many other people. God bless you all and thank you. If I can do anything to help any of you, please let me know. Stay strong everyone. We have so much strength in our numbers. We will not fail. Take care. Matt

[just my luck]

Hi Starting over overers A big hello to Girl it's good you posted even though you don't feel so good. You let us know that and it helps us understand why your not posting as much. Matt your right session 3 is a hard and one thing I think we get a stigma about. Lucinda said it's the corner stone of the whole program and she is right. The last time I passed three I don't think I stopped the negatives and that's what got me down. I told myself I did, but really the negative thoughts kept coming in. It's like Diane said she tormented it or did you. I think it torments us all cause we really don't get the negative out it's with us everyday the world is negative. I'm having a really hard time with it and posting about it too. I do all of three said to do and still something happens and that's my first thought I can change it but it's there the doubt no getting around it got to face it.I write the neg and change to pos but it's there. It's hard to say and I don't know if I will get three all the way before I move on. I didn't last time and I don't want it to hold me up. Maybe I making too much of it or got it in my head I will never get rid of these negative thoughts. I know last time I let it effect me and it slowed me down til I stopped the program. I know now it's life and no matter what it will always be there and I'm not going to let it get to me and slow me down with the program this time. I will move on and go back to it time and time again til I learn the rest and then maybe it will sink in. I will know I will alway get negative thoughts and this program will teach how the remove them as they come.I was getting mad at myself and had nothing good to Post in here. I let three throw me off my horse and now it's a struggle to get back on. I am and will just my determation will do it and move on. I reread all the post on this thread and know I can do it again there are alot of good writing in here. There are so many of you that have stopped posting and it's hard this isn't easy for me. I'm not going to let three beat me that's for sure. I'm going to work with it through the rest of the program not get myself down if I can't change the negative thoughts coming in but work with them and I know I will get better at it. I don't think anymore I'm a failure about it just cause I can't change all my negative thoughts I realize some are going to creep in and that is life it can't be all roses. We all are good people no matter if we get something or it's harder to learn it. I don't think I'm a failure for it and no one should. Negative is in our lives to stay we just have to keep putting it away. I'm still working on three and will the rest of the week, but now I don't have all the presure of thinking I have to get before moving on and I can go back to it at anytime and not feel I'm failing for it. All of us SOOs we need to get back up on our horse and know we are not failure we are good people that trying to help ourseves feel better and we will do it. We all are here for a reason and we all want to help each other. So what I'm saying is if you need it ask we are here to help and understand what your going through. I say to all the new SOOs and all of us you get stuck let us know together we stand strong with our growing numbers.Thanks to you all I'm moving forward with this program to finish it. Have a Great and Blessed Life! Sherrie

[Deborah Evans]

YEA Sherrie, I just posted to this thread & it didn't go through, so hope I can remember what I said.
Sherrie is so right how hard this is to sometimes post & share our thoughts. But I too am having trouble going forward. I haven't posted lately due to that reason & just starting session 2 this morning. I think sometimes we are trying so hard to get this right or down that is becomes overwhelming, at least that happens to me. I expect myself to get it right & do it right. But I know when we have grown up our whole life with negative thoughts & ways, it will take longer than 1 day, maybe 1 month or 1 year to change. But we need to stop beating ourselves up over it, because the main thing is we are trying. I know I feel embarrassed to post sometimes, because I don't always know what to say or don't even at times know what to think of all of this. I am too busying saying why can't you get this or do this. Think about it for a moment if when we do that to ourselves, we are able to recgonize that we are doing that & we try to stop, then something is sinking it. We have gotten back up on the horse when we keep trying. But no one said we would be champion horseman in a day or week. It takes practice. Its that old perfect thing. There is no one that is perfect out there. There is only one that I know is perfect & that is my Lord Jesus and no other. We are not failures. We need to know that we can post & be safe in doing so & sharing. I think it is great that we can. I know they say that we are holding the key to unlock & face those fears. I confess I am struggling with that. I want to, but just can't seem to do it. I pray the Lord hears my cry & all of yours too. We can & will do this & make it.
Hope you all have a blessed day & night......deb.

[Janet S. C.]

Hello everyone, Just wanted to let you know I finialy restarted the program yesterday..With pateints and determination we can all get through this time, like Sherri said there will always be negative in our lives, but we can and will learn to get past it..Changing the way we think is probably going to be one of the hardest sessions, but we can do it, we just need to be kind to ourselves, give ourselves some extra time, I have faith in all of us, we are strong enough to do this...Reading the post has helped me to stay focused, they are all positive and thats just what we need, thank you all so much...Janet