New User

[KAMO]

Hi everyone, I'm new to the program & have only gone through Session 2. My problem seems to be a little different from what I've heard so far on the tapes, & I was wondering if anyone else is going through this like me. I was fine until about 3 years ago when I quit my job after 11 years & started staying home. My daughter had already moved out of the house, my husband works all day, Mon. thru Fri., & after about 2 months, I became very lonely. I worry that something will happen to my husband & I'll be left alone the rest of my life. That's when I had my first anxiety attack & am still having them to this day. My attacks consist of a rapid heartbeat, butterflies in my stomach, & no appetite. I will go all day long without eating a thing until dinner, & sometimes have gone two or three days without eating. Mine will start in the morning after my husband leaves for work & can sometimes last all day long until he gets home. I feel sorry for my husband because I call him all the time just to assure myself that he's ok & if I can't get him on the phone, I'm anxious until he calls me back. I'll feel better for a little while, then the anxiety starts again. If he's even 15 minutes late, I'm calling him wanting to know where he is. I'm ok once he gets home, unless I start thinking about what tomorrow is going to be like after he leaves, & can sometimes have one even when he's there. I feel sorry for my husband, because I want him to be with me all the time. Before this started, he was an avid golfer, would often work late to get overtime & it never bothered me at all. Now I don't want him to go anywhere without me. If we go shopping together & I lose sight of him, even for a couple of seconds, I start feeling anxious. I've seen two counselors, who didn't help me at all, & my family physician who thinks this is due to menapause (I just turned 57), but I think it's more of a control issue. I feel like I'm the only person in the world with this kind of problem & wanted to know if anyone else has these same issues & what you are doing about them. Thanks for all of your support.

[Clarysage]

I think you are right that it is a control issue contributing to this. It is FEAR too and it all starts with our thinking.
I really like this program. It is giving me so much more awareness of myself and my patterns and HABITS. We slowly became this way and we can change. I can relate to the anxiety about the husband. I have had that too at different times. Sometimes it was sever and other times more mild. Having my own goals is extremely helpful. Start simple and keep it simple.
I had a very anxious morning today and was extremely uncomfortable most of the morning. I was okay by 11:00. I am relaxed right now. I am learning to utilize the program to help me through the day (or moment). It is work and it is do-able. I am so much better than I was just a month ago. This is my goal now. To practice this as best I can each day.
This is so liberating ...that we have a choice and we can change our thinking. Very empowering.

[KAMO]

Thanks so much for the encouragement. Being by myself all day, I have no one to talk to but 3 dogs, & they don't talk back. Although my husband knows I have anxiety attacks & that I purchased Lucinda's CD's, he will not discuss this problem with me. He's very calm & easy going & doesn't like to talk about anything that's not good. My sister's husband just died unexpectantly in June leaving her with 2 teenagers to raise by herself so she doesn't need to be burdened with my problems, & I have no close friends that live around me to talk to, so I'm really looking forward to & counting on the great people here for support. It's also hard to try to explain how an anxiety attack feels to someone that has never had one & just doesn't understand how bad and depressing it can be. Church & prayer have helped, but have not rid me of this monster. Take care & I hope the rest of your day is blessed with peace & calm.

[Paisleegreen]

HI Kamo-I understand completely your feelings and what you are going through. I never had panic attacks either until some shocking news and coming off of anti-depressants and Xanax. My Psychiatrist said the same thing that he feels it is hormones. I turned 57 recently myself. I did notice that things had been changing as my hormones were declining and Empty Next syndrome and some great disappointments all happened at the same time.

My sister introduced me to Lucinda and later I got borrowed her CDs and came here. Anyway, this program and the website where I could come and "talk" to other people really helped me. I haven't had another panic attack since a year ago and I had just barely had the panic attack in May. But I did suffer the anxiety symptoms and anxious feelings where I could eat and was very scared. I was scared to be in my bathroom w/o my cell phone near me and I had to listen to one of Lucinda's CD while I was in the tub. I've come a long way where I have traveled by myself and stayed at either a Condo or Hotel alone. I've been bike riding again after a few years not doing so and also got up on waterskiis after 32 years of not waterskiing. My body aches more now, but I feel great that I'm enjoying myself and going outside my comfort zone.

I make sure I eat lean beef, chicken, eggs, seafood, fish, and nuts to keep my "gut" feeling better. Also, I make sure to get some aerobic exercise in such as walking, swimming, going places where happy people are. Also being where there is sunshine. These make me feel better.

I lost my dog a few years ago due to injury so I do feel very lonely without him as he was my little buddy and went with me everywhere and I felt protected me when I was alone at home or elsewhere.

I have other challenges right now...that gives me anxiety that I work on...and that is that I have a 20 year old son still living at home that likes to "take over" my household and does things that affects my feelings of "being in control". So I wrestle with these feelings and what to do with him taking over my "space". So this does bring on anxious and even scared feeling to me b/c this isn't how he use to be and it upsets my need to have things remain the "same". I don't like changes.

Anyway, welcome to StressCenter.com...Paislee

[KAMO]

Hi Paisleegreen. I am right there with you and it's good to find someone my age; I turned 57 in May. My daughter, who just turned 26 moved out a couple of years ago and I'm still going through the "empty nest" syndrome. At least she lives near us and comes by on her days off of work. Although I have to say she's not coming to see me, but to watch TV because she doesn't have cable at her apartment. I'm so thrilled to get another reply. Even though I just started this chat room yesterday, I was becoming very disappointed in the lack of replies I had gotten, only 1 before yours. I know this is supposed to be a "peer support" group, and I haven't been seeing any support, even though I've seen others with many replies. I realize I'm new, others are familiar with each other, and that because it's a weekday, many people may be at work, but I was expecting more than this. Oh well, it will come, I guess. These anxiety attacks are driving me up the wall and I hate taking medication for them. but I had one this morning and went right to my pill bottle. I take 1/2 one every night before bed, but only take 1/4 of one during the day, and only if I have an anxiety attack because they make me so drowsy. Thank you so much for your reply and I hope you have a blessed day.

[Paisleegreen]

Hi Kamo- I was answering you other posting wanting to know the difference between panic attack and anxiety. My husband came into the room and we have had a long talk...got many things resolved that brings me anxiety and when I came back to answer I posted but found out I was logged out or something.
Anyway, you will begin to feel better soon. I listened to some CDs over and over while the bathtub or in my vehicle when I went places. I didn't have the workbook last year when I started, but I now have my own CDs and the program where the other one were borrowed and older and no workbook. My sister wanted to keep her workbook.Also my newer program has the DVDs in them too, although you can see those on Youtube. Someone here has posted a link to them.

You will get responses off and on while people are joining, some stick around and do the program over again and others feel better and move on. I've been more busy over the summer enjoying myself compared to last year I didn't have StressCenter.com and was in my full panic mode and being calmed down my beta blockers and Remeron. I'm off of both of those which I took in desperation by the advice of a Physician Assistant who didn't know me. My regular psychiatrist was ill but he helped me to wean off of the Beta Blockers and later I did the Remeron. Didn't care for either of those drugs, but I can see their purpose for the right people. Just not me.

I had weaned off of Wellbutrin and Xanax by seeing a Psychologist that uses CBT in his therapy and had me get Dr David Burns 10 Steps to Self Esteem Workbook. It really helped me out, so I didn't and felt so much better. paislee

[KAMO]

Hi again Paisleegreen,

Thanks for explaining to me how this works. I was really getting discouraged. I'm glad you are doing better. I am having an anxiety attack right now and just don't know why. My husband got off of work early and we went to my daughter's to mow her yard, at least he did and I just sat and watched. That's how it is with me - no rhyme or reason as to why I have one of these anxiety attacks. I take Clonazepan at bedtime, but if it doesn't stop soon, I'm going to take 1/4 of a pill to help calm me down.
Keep your fingers crossed for me.

[Paisleegreen]

Hi Kamo-Sometimes by just using a Benzo, that can bring on Panic Attacks when going off of them, so keep that in mind.
Try to take walks and keep you sugar and caffeine intake down. Omega 3's help with anxiety, it is in tuna, eggs, and other fish, also nuts.

[KAMO]

Unfortunately, I am a coffee drinker. I drink decaffeinated coffee, but I use sugar, and I have been trying to cut down on the sugar. I don't like tuna, but I do like eggs. I don't usually eat breakfast, I just drink coffee all day, but maybe I'll try having a boiled egg in the mornings. I have a BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) Bible study tomorrow morning and that usually helps get me through my day, at least most of the time. Thanks for the advice. I wish you were my neighbor, then I'd probably drive you crazy with questions and telling you all about my problems. I live in North Carolina, where are you from?

[Trex]

I am new to this site. I have not ordered the program yet, but I am going to soon or else my husband will do it for me. I have been having panic attacks and anxiety on and off for about 2 years now. I am going to be 50 next year and I really do believe that alot of it is associated with Menopause and changes in my body chemistry. Recently, it is like a switch just went on inside me and the anxiety and panic attacks became more severe. My doctor tried to put me on anti-depresents, but all of them increased the anxiety. It all started when my mother became sick and then it became severe when she passed away. I am a controlling person and I know that has a lot to do with it, but that is just who I am and it has never been a big deal before. My daughther is 15 and I get anxiety about her going off to college in a couple of years. I tell my everyone that she is going through puberty and I am going through Menapause. I am afraid of being alone when she is gone. My husband works all the time 12 hours a day 7 day a week. That never bothered me before, but it does now, so I know how you feel about being lonely. I am trying to manage without taking drugs. Mornings are the worst for me because I get anxious about the day ahead of me. I often have to take Xanex in the morning just to avoid having a panic attack. BSF is a wonderful program and would definitley help me if I would get back into it. I try to stay in the Word twice a day to keep focused. I just want to be myself again and not feel this way. I just keep telling myself this won't last forever, this will pass.