Dear Diary

[manofmusic]

I have to share some excellent news.....mom got the last half of the test results today. There's no cancer in the rest of her body. It's only in one small area. The radiologist looked at the entire test and decided that mom didn't even need radiation ! They are checking her out tomorrow and she will be home tomorrow afternoon. They are setting her up with a nurse to go in twice a week to check her vitals. Mom's sister will be there for a couple of days too to make she she gets settled back in. The cancer center wants to see mom again in 3 months to make sure the cancer hasn't grown. They don't think it will, but if it does, they will hit it with some radiation and send her on her way. She has about 95% of her strength back and she's walking up and down the halls. She has no more fluid in her lungs and her oxygen levels are at 98% without the oxygen tube. That's excellent for her. She going to the washroom by herself, walking there and back. Today she plucked her eyebrows, but a bit of makeup on and filed her nails while she watched her soaps !

I'm really amazed. I've always believed that dad's watching over her and I think I'm right.

Her next door neighbours miss her very much. They will be completely surprised to see her home.

[Paisleegreen]

That's is super great news, Mano! Wow, if she is putting on her makeup and watching her soaps, she is doing great! I'm so happy for you! Paislee

[manofmusic]

Mom came home from the hospital yesterday and wanted to catch up on her sleep. She laid down in her bed and fell asleep for 4 hours ! I told her that it may take a little while to catch up on her regular sleep cycle. I'm very happy for her and I'm really glad to see her home.

The negative news.....a certain sibling has been nothing but negative since she got home. He'd say things like 'you know she's just coming home to die, right ?' and 'you know she's 82 and doesn't have much time left, right ? ' I'm not a stupid person. I also know that if mom was really sick, they wouldn't have sent her home. The type of cancer she has a 75% survival rate. Just becauce, mom is 82 doesn't mean that she doesn't have a right to live like everyone else. What would've happened if my sibling decided to talk like that and didn't notice mom walking in the room ? What's with all the negativity ?Am I supposed to constantly think negative like he does ? What if mom goes another 10 years ? Does that mean I'm supposed to think negatively for 10 years ? When mom left the hospital, they were going to give her chemo. The dr walked in her room with a big smile on his face and said "I'm glad you didn't choose chemo. You don't need it !" We will give you a dose of radiation and keep you here for 4 days, then send you home. Later that day, the dr said "We looked at the results again and found that we don't need to give you radiation right now. We want to see you back here in 3 weeks and we will just keep an eye on it and if we feel you need radiation or chemo after, we'll do it then". Does this sound like someone who's going to die tomorrow ?

The negativity of this family is overwheling to me. Then my brother's wife decided to tell my family that mom's been driving wedges between all of the siblings. It hasn't been mom doing it, it's her that's doing it. A part of me wants to move far far away, but I don't want to as long as mom's here.

I'm off work this week on vacation. I'm going to practice relaxation and I'm going to do the program all over again starting with week 2.

I hope everyone is having a good weekend and I hope that positivity begins to rule !

[Paisleegreen]

Wow, Mano, its hard living near or with relatives or in laws, sometimes. Since I already went through my father's Lymphoma, they would have kept her and treated if they needed to. It is nice that she only needs to do radiation, chemo is pretty harsh. 82 years old is young these days, especially if your mother is putting make up on and watching her soaps. You hang in there! We are going to have a positive week.

I found out that I can go up to the mountain/lake vacation on Tuesday, I don't have to wait until Wednesday, so that gives me an extra day and night there. I'm looking forward to some peaceful and serene atmosphere along with some fun and excitement as well. I will get my fill of socializing with people on vacation and time to read, walk, ride my bike, take a hike, swim, watch TV shows my regular TV doesn't get and listen to my CDs. Paislee

[manofmusic]

Paislee !

Thank you for the positive words ! I will take them with me wherever I go today.

Enjoy your trip up to the mountain / lake. You deserve a nice rest.

I'm on vacation this week as well. I'm not going on a vacation. I'm stcking around here. If I go anywhere, it will just be for a day trip somewhere. There's some stuff I need to do around the house. I enjoy working on the house. That's what calms me down.

Thanks again for the positive words !

[tina martin]

M, do ignore the negative one with his attitude. Pay no attention. Your mother and you have yours. Much better.

P, enjoy your time away, as you do. It renews you and reinvigorates you. I'm with M: nothing like home sweet home. There was so much shifting about from very young to even in the US. Once we moved into this place I promised myself it would be the last. Each day with routines at home are treasures.

[Paisleegreen]

Hey, Mano, that will be good for you to get some stuff done around your house. That's all I've been doing if I'm not at the waterpark, is working on my house or yard. Plus this is where our business is located, so it isn't just my house that stares at me. Someday we'll have our business and its inventory, etc. located at another property so I don't have to see its clutter. It can become overwhelming because it really is heavy equipment and inventory as well as parts and pieces of things. That I just have no control over.

I also have my sons' hobby stuff, that belong to vehicles. So those pieces are big and heavy and for them to move them it takes machinery. So it does bring on stress when things converge on my garden area or peaceful surroundings. I have resigned myself to the fact that I will never at this time begin a Garden Nursery business and I ready to pack up a lot of inventory for that venture and take to a second hand store. I do need to find a pick up truck that is available for this. I never know when one might be available. I have a few choices, but they really aren't female friendly.

Otherwise, I feeling peace in clearing this adventure and have less work to do around the yard. It is a big yard and I am the main groundskeeper. DH isn't a gardener, he likes mechanical things as well as the rest of my family. Which does come in handy! Well, time to change the sprinklers, I'm trying to get everything watered before I take off sometime tomorrow. P.

Tina--That would be very difficult to have to move around quite often. So staying home if fun for you. I myself have no desire to visit Europe unless I had a really good translater and tourist guide. I like comfort too, so traveling to any countries that don't have what I'm use to is not my idea of a vacation. I don't need any adventure, I've had my share growing up. P.

[manofmusic]

Tina - I'm doing my best to ignore him. It is getting easier every day, so that's a step in the right direction.

Paislee - I'm into the mechanical stuff too, but I do a mean lawn and garden too. LOL

I went to mom's today to go over her bills that I paid for her for the past month. We ended up having a really nice talk about what mom was going thru and she's fully accepted it. She knows that she could go 6 months from now or live to a ripe old age of 100. The way we looked at it was that no one is promised tomorrow so live while you can. We went over her will and her papers that shows what she wants done after she's gone. She knows that my brother will do wantever he wants, so she's leaving to me. I'm glad about that and so is she. Now that "the talk" is done, we can truly go on living.

I feel like a huge weight is off my shoulders and I feel that the rest of my vacation is going to actually feel like a vacation !

I do, however, have a dentist appt tomorrow morning. It's just for a check up and cleaning. No big deal.

Hope everyone is having a great day.

[Loveslife]

Dear Diary and Friends,
Hi to all. I'm thrilled for Mano and also so happy that Paislee is going to the lake for a few days, maybe by herself.

I won't be on much this week diary, as my work schedule is very busy, and I'm just trying to keep up. I have been working almost non stop, and now I have 4 midnight shifts ahead of me.

My auxiliary meeting was a huge success, and I'm proud of the job that I completed, before schedule.

Peace and love to all,
J.

[SoWhatif]

Hey J, Take your breaks, all work and no play make for burnout. We want you fit not frazzelled. hehe

Bless them night shifts to be enlightening and healing for you.

This year is just speeding by way to fast for me. Keep in mind that we sometimes bury issues in need of confronting with our work. Our Tina gives me the enlightening outlook to make everyday a new and usefull way to share life.

Missing the discussions of days past, only so many hrs in the day. It is how we choose and use our required to attend lifes time. Thanks al you folks for helping me see the way.

May it be a good day tomorrow, a tad less HUMIDITY would be really nice.