The BBL Project... Lesson 1

[Karen L]

9 hours of yardwork really beat me up lol.....the nice weather and the sunshine just do wonders for me

Hope....my sister is a high school math teacher and there are soooo many problems up here in Ohio....the passed the bill stopping collective bargaining...its such a mess... Im so glad to hear you found something that you really enjoy doing

Wayne.... nice to meet you

Will....like Hope said, try to focus on yourself..you really do have to take care of yourself before you can really take care of other things...

THH....sounds like you had an amazing time, I love just driving around looking at houses I went to the eagle site and watched for awhile....I was amazed that both parents were there....one got off the babies and the other took it's place on top of the babies....very awesome to watch

Mike.....Im going to try to stay away from the negative room lol......I need to make my home here in the positive one

Paislee.....how great that you are learning to let go of some stuff!!!! just remember that the stuff you really enjoy should just go on the back burner for now...some day may be a good time to go back to it......look at some stuff as letting go temporarily, not as forver

have a great week-end everyone!!!

[NinjaFrodo]

Thats great THH. Its really good to dream. ONe thing I've found from this condition is that I stopped dreaming and imagining what it would be like to have the things I wanted and be the person I wanted and I just focused on what i was lacking instead and that in itself is depressing but when you dream you have something to strive for, something that makes you feel really good and you really can enjoy things without even having them if you are dreaming. It is such an easy and wonderful thing we can give ourselves and most of the things we dream about we can eventually make happen. That kind of dreaming can actually make our lives very enjoyable. Its kinda like when we were yonger and played house or pretended to be a fireman or doctor or whatever but this is the adult version of it.

Oh and I did check out the eagle thing and it does sound like an intresting idea. I however checked it at 2:00am and so all I get to see is a bird that is sleeping...not too exciting.

Wow mcshope, people still do the home schooling? Any idea why he is home schooled? (Sorry I"m just curious)

Karen L that was such a funny visual...I just imagined you being attacked by leaves, being chased around by rakes and being beatten up by plants and dirt just flinging itself into your mouth (yes i have a good imagination sometimes) But i'm glad you had fun. By the way the Letting go thread is there when you need it and i'm sure there will come a time where you may need to vent and its better to let that out than keep it in. That doesn't mean you have to read everything in that thread and respond to it...its just there if you need it but if you are good enough with having your councellor to help you out with that stuff then maybe you won't need the thread, its up to you and there is no obligation to use it.


My day went pretty good. I still have many struggles that i am dealing with right now but since I am focusing more on the positive things, I am definately feeling much better despite the struggles. It seems lately I am most negative when I wake up and I think its been like that for awhile but when I allow myself to go through the thoughts, feel the feelings and get them out on paper or online, then I start to allow myself to open up to the good feelings and then I am able to create a good day. I think it works for me to get myself into a positive state before I post or before I start my day, it really does make a huge diffrence in my over all state of mind as well as my anxiety and stress level and I can appreciate people and things alot more and I am even more eager and excited to do things that before I would not even want to think of. I even get really eager to come on the forums and post and share really awesome videos. By the way here is the video I choose for today http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31TTcjYw0hQ Guaranteed to break anybody out of a negative mood!

Went out for bowling it was really fun! I actually went to throw the ball towards the pins the one time and I actually lost it on the back swing and it dropped behind me and it was really embarassing but I kinda laughed at myself and my one friend didn't wait long enough and hit the thing that comes down when you hit the pins and he had the machine shut down it was kinda funny. We also went to eat a bit after and well it was alot of fun.


Mike

[THH]

Mike, I tried to open your link, and nuttin happened? LOL...
Sometimes is is quite boring, up in the nest. I check it daily to be sure they make it another day. It is cool, I can't wait till they get bigger. We will have to watch for the flying lesson and see if its like I heard. ( I heard momma eagle drops them out of the nest and if they don't make it she rescues them.) I'm real curious????
Its neat to have the view!

In this lesson I found that " I can change the way I think" It was some valuable insight that I never considered before. Don't know why. I guess I never thought I was causing my self to feel bad! LOL...
For me this was a important part of lesson 1.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

[Karen L]

my son and grandson were over most of the afternoon...so it made for a cheerful day since the weather is rainy

Mike.....you always have the funniest visuals lol, you really are creative
I know that you created the negative thread for places to vent, just hoping that I dont need to go there lol.....and btw, that is an excellent idea, that way people dont feel like they are bringing others down or are just afraid to post here

hope everyone is good

[Paisleegreen]

Thanks Karen L-- I did more yardwork like you and it feels great except for the sore muscles! Ugh! My helper boy, has helped me three days in a row. Also, accidently started a fire on the second day by putting dry grass on the burn pile and it caught on fire. That means that DH did not turn on the hose and water the hot coals down. So last night I went out with him to made sure the fire was put out.

Then my lawn guy finally showed up and mowed the lawn but didn't have time to spray weeds but that's okay because the helper boy and I are still working on dried up weeds and plants and I don't want weed spray on the good plants. So I fee great and the helper boy got some cash that is probably burning a hole in his pocket! Paislee

[cj20520]

Hello All:
I have enjoyed reading about all your goings on...sounds great. You are all so happy and fully present. Nice. I am doing ok, i am working alot and find that to be exhausting most of the time. But i feel good about what i am accomplishing. Not only just getting to work and staying there, but enjoying my time with others.

I have had a couple of big moments since last i talked to any of you. I attended a black tie affair last weekend for our Children's Hospital. I was extremely anxious about going for days ahead, but oddly, the day of i was totally calm. I was very happy that i attended. Also, finding it easier to just get out and do things. I have been able to do things by myself, but i am actually doing things with others.

So anyway, i am waiting, and waiting for spring. Everytime we get a nice day or two it is followed by more snow. Wish i could come and help Paisleegree. I need garden thereapy.

Have a great week everyone!!
cj

[NinjaFrodo]

Here is a really awesome video which is actually a compliation of really funny moments on tv shows http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sap2hfA- ... re=related

Sorry THH there was a [ that was missing so try again it'll work. And yeah I didn't think about the eagle thing with dropping her babies to teach them how to fly, that does sound pretty exciting actually. Thinking about it, it shows us that even animals would have anxiety or at least thats what I would expect and if animals have it then it must be natural...that is my analytical mind working. Now when you were talkign about lesson 1, were you talking about the first time you went through it or this time?

Thank you Karen...sometimes these visuals just come to me. And with the venting well I actually feel alot more satisfied myself when I let myself feel those negative things. Actually I start my day by going through what is called the emotional ladder and I slowly move up through the negative emotions to the positive ones and it is such a satisfying feeling. Its like its incorporating both the negative and positive aspects of myself together...I actually get excited about coming up with another negative thought for a particular category on the ladder and then I end up feeling a genuine sense of positivity when i do reach the positive categories. I do not post on that thread on a daily basis but I basically go there on paper everyday and it makes me feel positive, its not a downer for me but if it was a downer then I probabbly wouldn't do it which i'm assuming is how you are viewing it. It however is going to be diffrent for everybody but if you can feel comfortable with the negative then they will go away alot quicker when they come up in the future.

I'm glad you had some fun Paisleegreen and nice little pun there . Did you know you can actually use dandilion leaves medicinally? You could wash them and actually add them to a salad, make a tea out of them or blend them up in the blender with some kind of smoothe and it is really good for the liver and in chinese medicine that would be good for reducing stress. Those weeds don't look to bad now do they?

cj20520
I'm glad you are enjoying the posts and that you have been doing well. One thing that I had done in the past that wasn't really helpful to me and also i found out wasn't really realistic at all which I think you may be doing right now too is seeing us as just happy and not affected by the anxiety. I also compared myself with my perception of these people and myself and got really discouraged. Yes we may seem really happy and present but many of us are still really struggling alot with our limitations and our anxieties. I for one am not fully present as you might think of me being. I am still extremely spacy and bewildered and anxious the only thing is we are focusing on the good things right now and building on that, we still have many times when things aren't so good and where we don't feel so good about life or ourselves so its not all sunshine and lolipops...fooled you We're all on the same level.

Thats really awesome that you got through the event despite the anticipatory anxiety, thats some good progress. I take it you also don't do many things with others normally? Sounds like you are starting to get to where you want to go. What I'd like to know is what you did on the day off to be calm...what were you thinking of?

All
There is another thing I wanted to talk about when it comes to this thread. Since this is such a positive place you can come here and reread the things posted as well as rewatch some of the videos and such whenever you are about to approach a negative situation or perceieved negative situation, anticipatory anxiety or if you are feeling very overwhelmed, stressed and just need some kind of relief. You could also use the Letting go thread to do that as well, it would really depend on how negative you are feeling. If you are feeling very very intense negative feelings then rereading these things in this thread or watching the videos coudl actually create feelings of jealousy, resentment, angery, hopelessness and despair and in such a case i would suggest you go to the letting go thread and vent stuff out, watch the videos there or read what others have posted and regroup from that and then come back and try checking out the stuff posted here. There are times when what you need the most is to just let yourself experience the crap and find more of it until you feel like you are ready to move on and then you will be more open to accept the positive stuff.



Mike

[NinjaFrodo]

So my wish list if anxiety and depression weren't holding me back;
I'd have a full time job
I'd let myself be myself with appology or explaination
I'd be spontaneous with diffrent activities
I'd allow myself to say whats on my mind
I'd make eye contact more often
I'd let guys know I liked them by smiling at them
I'd get into a relationship
I'd find many ways to make money
I'd make videoposts and videoblogs
I'd make video posts of me singing
I'd organize a seemingly spontageous musical in a public event
I'd hangout with friends on a regular basis
I'd join an improv group
I'd join toastmasters and do presentations for groups of people
I'd join many sports activities like volleyball, dodgeball and stuff like that
I'd go out dancing at clubs
I'd show off my hip hop skills
I'd join my instructors hip hop company and do events for many people on stage
I'd go on tv about how I was absued in order to help other people out
Maybe i'd try doing stand up comedy

Um and thats all i got for now.

The motivational book i'm reading is called 10 smart things gay men can do to find real love. Its really awesome when it comes to relationships. Its mostly about gay romantic relationships but it has many useful things with relationships of any kind in general including ones for straight people as well. And I'm also reading the things and watching the videos on here for motivation as well.


Mike

[mcshope]

Well, CONGRATULATIONS!!! We have finished the first week and the first session. For some of us this is our second or third time thru the program... Isn't it amaizing how many things we learn each time???... For others this is the first time, if that is your case, be patient with yourself. It takes time but we all are proof that this program works, we all are doing better each day.

Are you ready for session 2?.... Per Mike's request I'll make the title a little moe explicit, so don't be surprised.... It will be "Building a Better Life... Session 2".

I am very happy to see all the posts, and as always I am thankful to have such a nice group of friends sharing their experiences. We are a lucky group!!!

I had a nice weekend, Saturday was a lazy day, today we worked outside and I also worked on some jewelry. I have found ways to keep myself busy.

Ok, I have to go... I will post the link for session 2 tomorrow morning.

Feel proud of your accomplishments.

Hope

[Karen L]

Hi all.....pretty good day here, did some running around and had an anxious moment....but I think it might be related to my smoking cigarettes....I just wanted to post this here cuz I knew some of you, like me are smokers looking for something to aid in cutting down or quitting...anyways, I found "nic out", a filter that goes on your cig....its filters out 90% of the tar, and 80% of the nicotine...I started using this last night.....the cig really tastes the same, but I can not get over all the tar in the filter...anyways, I am doing really well with this....the anxious moment came in the late afternoon while shopping....out of nowhere I felt a bit overwhelmed and confused (as in unrealistic feelings), anyways I walked through it, not leaving the store, checked out, and even went over to the redbox outside to rent a movie with my daughter I was so glad I just didnt run anyways thinking back on the moment, I am contributing this to maybe a side effect of less nicotine....even if it isnt, the idea at least stopped the worrying about why I got anxious lol if anyone is interested in how the "nic out" is going please feel free to ask

CJ......congrats on the accomplishment!!!! since this is my second time around in the program, I am trying to have positive thoughts and be happy....I still get the negative and the down feelings, but I try to quickly stop them now.....remember, we are what we think, so Im trying to think positive and happy
another big thing that I recently really accepted and understand is that I am responsible for where I am now, not anyone else....and since I really am seeing this now it is a bit easier to see the positive and be happy knowing I in fact can change how I feel

Paislee.....glad to hear you are getting alot of physial activity....for me it just makes me feel so much better
its nice to be exhausted from working instead of from the anxiety great to hear your helper is working out, just make sure you have a functioning hose close by haha just playing

Mike.....I completely understand how expressing negative feelings can be very helpful (I was the queen of negative and irrational thoughts in the last forum haha )......I more meant that I was going to try to stay postive and try to quickly change my thoughts when they are negative....and Im just at a point were I just feel that it is more beneficial to me personally to let go of my negative thoughts as quickly as possible, cuz when I seem to dwell or chase them down it seems like I may end up back down a road I dont want to be....but that makes alot of sense how you are using it as an emotional ladder, and Im so glad to hear that is working for you
now Im going to watch your video

have a great evening everyone!!!