Today I find my self getting anxiety over just going up to the cash register to purchase an item because I don't know how to small talk to the cashier. I'm not looking forward to class tomorrow I hate walking around campus I feel like everyones watching me and I wonder what they thinking! I mean why do I care so much about what people think? It's hard to stop but I need to stop this social fear and awkwardness if I want to graduate. But my biggest question and fear is how does someone socially awkward like me find love when I can't talk to almost anyone? I just need some inspiration or hope or anything!
Thanks,
K
Hate being so socially awkward I don't know how to stop
Re: Hate being so socially awkward I don't know how to stop
Katmo2, welcome.
Just smile and say hi to them. Answer them if you want or don't.
I am going to venture out and ask. No need to answer here, just give some thought.
It would appear your self esteem may be in the ditch, what reasons would there be to cause you to feel less than?
Do you blend in or wear or do things that stand out?
I am guessing your a "more than" not the less than and that is from your awareness and wanting to care. Do yourself a really big favor and focas on the I can. Have a great day.
Just smile and say hi to them. Answer them if you want or don't.
I am going to venture out and ask. No need to answer here, just give some thought.
It would appear your self esteem may be in the ditch, what reasons would there be to cause you to feel less than?
Do you blend in or wear or do things that stand out?
I am guessing your a "more than" not the less than and that is from your awareness and wanting to care. Do yourself a really big favor and focas on the I can. Have a great day.
Re: Hate being so socially awkward I don't know how to stop
SoWhatIf,
You're absolutely right about the low self esteem ever since i was little i've always felt different and just life situations made me feel worse. I'm trying to think more positive but my brain is fried from trying hard but i'm not giving up. It's hard and wierd to say but i feel as though i don't know how to think i just don't know. Thanks for the response
You're absolutely right about the low self esteem ever since i was little i've always felt different and just life situations made me feel worse. I'm trying to think more positive but my brain is fried from trying hard but i'm not giving up. It's hard and wierd to say but i feel as though i don't know how to think i just don't know. Thanks for the response
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Re: Hate being so socially awkward I don't know how to stop
HI Kat, you probably are under a lot of stress and pressure to perform or do well. I ditto Whatif, to just say Hi if yo need too. I'm at the other end of the scale. I'm very friendly and I'm disciplining myself to not have to chat with everyone I meet on the street or in the store, etc. We're here for you as you enter this new adventure! paislee 
Re: Hate being so socially awkward I don't know how to stop
paislee,
Thanks haha but how r u so friendly ? i just don't know how to be , i try but i feel soo anxious.
Thanks haha but how r u so friendly ? i just don't know how to be , i try but i feel soo anxious.
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tina martin
- Posts: 792
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm
Re: Hate being so socially awkward I don't know how to stop
We are told that we are social animals, we must have friends, we must fit it, we must be part of groups. There is little to no room for individuality, for autonomy, for freedom to be yourself. What always comes to mind is Streisand's song, "People who need people are the luckiest people in the world." Neediness never does anyone any good, as far as I know. Self-assurance is the goal and then others will flock to you like bees to honey.
This topic always gets me because I'm such a loner and like it that way. There is history behind this, the circumstances in my life, my observations, and experiences. In my view, it is much more important for you to be at one with yourself, to like your own company ahead of anyone else. The others will follow should you want them.
This topic always gets me because I'm such a loner and like it that way. There is history behind this, the circumstances in my life, my observations, and experiences. In my view, it is much more important for you to be at one with yourself, to like your own company ahead of anyone else. The others will follow should you want them.
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Re: Hate being so socially awkward I don't know how to stop
Hi Kat, I just think I'm too friendly, probably because I compare myself to quiet people who are fine to be quiet. Quiet people have different personalities, and there are all kinds of quiet people as there are outgoing and loud people. LOL! I guess that is why my DH and I complement eachother, he is more quiet, talks softly and can endure working at jobs that don't require much social interaction or leadership. I am the type of person that likes to teach children or interact with groups of people. I'm comfortable at a football stadium, beach, airport, baseball diamond, dance floor, parade or on stage.
DH prefers to be in the background and likes to fix things. I like to grow things and create things. DH can tell stories and jokes, and I can remember phone #'s and facts about people and their families and even their birthdays. I love to read and tour historical sites. DH is more comfortable sitting in a motel and watching TV. I'm almost the baby of my family and DH is just about the oldest in his. I did more chores since my Mom worked outside of the home and DH grew up with a stay at home Mom.
So we all have our personalities and talents that make us unique. So as I work on being more quiet which takes great discipline
you can work on overcoming some anxiety or shyness by disciplining yourself to face your fears. But only if you feel you really need to. Tina, gave some good advice on deciding on whether it is that important to be able to carry on a conversation with someone.
One thing my husband caught me on was that I didn't look him in the eye when we talked when I first dated him. I overcame that and learned that my father does that and I notice my sister does that as well. So practicing conversation with some safe people will help and reading some books on conversation or role playing helps as well. Start small...gradually you'll develop a "gift of gab" then look out world!
Paislee
DH prefers to be in the background and likes to fix things. I like to grow things and create things. DH can tell stories and jokes, and I can remember phone #'s and facts about people and their families and even their birthdays. I love to read and tour historical sites. DH is more comfortable sitting in a motel and watching TV. I'm almost the baby of my family and DH is just about the oldest in his. I did more chores since my Mom worked outside of the home and DH grew up with a stay at home Mom.
So we all have our personalities and talents that make us unique. So as I work on being more quiet which takes great discipline
you can work on overcoming some anxiety or shyness by disciplining yourself to face your fears. But only if you feel you really need to. Tina, gave some good advice on deciding on whether it is that important to be able to carry on a conversation with someone.One thing my husband caught me on was that I didn't look him in the eye when we talked when I first dated him. I overcame that and learned that my father does that and I notice my sister does that as well. So practicing conversation with some safe people will help and reading some books on conversation or role playing helps as well. Start small...gradually you'll develop a "gift of gab" then look out world!
Paislee