"What if" thinking

[Loveslife]

Wow. I love reading everyone's stories, and we are all coming a long way and making huge progress.

Great job to us!!

I'm off to work again, on the night shift. Thank you all for your words of support. As soon as this shift schedule changes, I will have more energy to contribute to helping others. Tina, I will look for the New Yorker article dated 3/21 (today) on my ipad tonight and read it on my break.

I must try these tapes. I frankly don't even know what they are, but that is because I took a short cut and never read the home page. I will.

~Peace and love.

J.

[bklynbee]

LL Im glad you are doing well on your night shifts. It feels so good when we are able to accomplish things. I am having anxiety again this morning but I am trying my best to deal with it. I am planning on trying to go outside today...I havent been out in over a week. I think maybe some of this anxiety is because I am going stir crazy. I will post later how it goes. Hope everyone has a great day!

[Loveslife]

I do hope you get out BB. You know in your mind and heart that you will feel better once you do get outside. Please, please try to.
I'm just home from my midnight shift. 2 down, 1 more to go for a few days. It is truly, truly hard.

Peace to all.

[tina martin]

Yes, it is very hard, J. It takes great adjustment. At least it is not 5 days. And yes, BB, do try to get out.

Wake up at night thinking, "Much much kudos to her for taking matters in her own hands. What a terrific person." The article is too long, but goes into childhood which these days is mostly not dealt with. Because of cost factors, drug therapy has largely replaced talk therapy. There was an article in the Times by a psychiatrist to this effect.

Paislee, you are indeed sensitive. I avoid sugar, salt and fat as much as possible because they do nothing for you. Am mostly vegetarian. This kind of diet takes more time and effort, but I've made a hobby out of it. Experiment to see what agrees with you. Admire you for trying to get off the stuff that nevertheless is sometimes necessary. Let DH will deal with DS.

Good Lord, I am insufferable with my self invented self help. Boss always wants to know where I get my degrees. I say, "What do you care? You just reap the benefits of them. And fees are not going up......yet."

[Paisleegreen]

You're funny, Tina! I like how boss wonders where you get all your degrees! LOL! As for food I wasn't always sensitive. It has come about after my first panic attack and made my para sympathetic nerve region a mess! (Not sure if it is psychosomatic nerve system) I'm too sick to research the term right now. Anyway, of course a xanax would calm this down, but I don't want to be dependent on that med if I don't have to be. I was able to wean off of anti-depressants by CBT and the help of xanax(but also weaned off of xanax at the same time)

So while I'm working Lucinda's program and coming here along with Counseling I'm hoping that I can go about life without antidepressants. I've been on them and lived life for a quite a long time without them. I prefer to be without them. I don't like the side affects.

My Psychiatrist was telling me that hormones was probably my problem, but I'm not replacing them with the full bore pill my other Dr offers. So I just have to work things out by nutrition, CBT and exercise. I've already experienced the weight gain on the "belly" that DR OZ talks about will happen as hormones are no longer manufactured by the ovaries. So that is where extra estrogen comes from. So now I work on keeping that weight gain down, which has got to be possible because I've seen women that remain slim.

Anyway, all I can say is that I'm getting better or feeling better than when I had my first panic attack and I haven't had anymore panic attacks, I've had anxiety and feelings of dread or scared feelings. But no full blown panic attacks.

I get sad feelings, but I'm able to work them out as I work the Program and "study" my sad feelings and figure out where they are coming from. So it is good to come here and read what all you guys are working on. Paislee.

[tina martin]

The drugs. Some people do well with them. I must be myself, good, bad, indifferent, suffering or not. However, I did take Estrogen and still take a very small dose, not every day. I had terrible urinary issues upon menopause. So bad, I was in agony and bleeding. Some doctors put me on antibiotics. Awful. One said EST and it was a miracle for me. But this is highly individual.

Weight. Metabolism changes, to be sure. At 60, as I was starting to expand, I wrote a crazy diet book. Boss read it and said, "No-one would know what this is about." "Can't you see it says Diet Book of Fact, Fiction, and Suspense?" Regardless, it worked for me. As you say, diet and exercise. Am the same weight. Stomach may not be as flat, waist not the same, but not bad. It takes work and discipline. I became a gym rat, learned all manner of exercise. Again, made a hobby out of it. This can be a fun adventure. Have lots of gym toys.

P, you have all reason to feel sad. I have mine, in a different way. I do not deny them. feel them, cry, write about them (J's form of Diary). They pass, I go on. Sure good that you have not had full blown panic attacks. Give yourself credit for it. Give yourself credit for all your efforts. The program suggests guided relaxation. Try and give that a chance. I meditate twice a day without fail. I actually enjoy it. My time to calm myself and think good thoughts. To slow, deep breaths I tell myself: relax, calm, peace. You can think up anything positive you like. Place yourself in different settings indoors or outdoors. It is wonderful to meditate.

P, how many degrees are tucked in this piece of Fact and Fiction? Countless ones. All free. You get what you pay for (joking). Hope your cold is getting better. Mine is but is still here. Less bothersome. Off for some hot tea. Bye for now.

[Paisleegreen]

Hi Tina, Yes, my cold is getting better as I'm able to post on here inbetween sneezes. Ugh. Noone better use my computer if they know what's good for them. I use Estrogen as well, I can a tell a difference if I don't. it is interesting to see women I've know for 20 years and I can tell that they are going through the change. Our skin is changing in our faces, more wrinkles, sagging a bit, circle under their eyes, tummy has more inches on it. So I can tell it is the age and change.

I agree, it does have to be metabolism as well and I did great when I was out gardening everyday or walking my dog. Then I had great fun at the waterpark last summer and after that I became less active due to the weather and working out my anxiety that I put on a little weight or it changed from muscle to flab. So it did feel good to get back out in the garden. Now to just get over this cold and let the sunny days come back. It is sunny today, but I'm not well to go outside.

I'm eating good, so just need to start some all around exercise that stretches my muscles and builds them. I have a club membership, I just need to get out and use it.

I love the title of your book... Boss is a funny guy, always checking up on you.
T, thanks for acknowledging my sadness. I felt that today, I tend to feel sorry for myself when I don't feel good and can't do my normal coping mechanisms or strategies. So I thought about it and allowed myself to grieve, to acknowledge that I miss that boy, I tell him that too. I have chats with him, letting him know that I miss him.

I know I need to do some guided relaxation, just a matter of putting on a CD when I feel I have some privacy. I do believe in prayer so that helps me a lot. I like your ideas, I will practice them. I was thinking of how I needed to be walking on the beach with some of my old friends, then that sometimes makes me sad because my friends and the beach are miles away and DH isn't that type of person. So I have to find that person to go walking with. DH will walk me around the neighborhood, but I could never get him to take me to the river. This was a while back, but it makes me sad that he wouldn't sacrifice his time to take me to the river to go walking. He says, "Why go to the river, when we could walk around the neighborhood."

The river has meaning to me and memories. It has smells that brings on good memories and we are more isolated and away from everyday life and interruptions when we are by the river. I guess at the time I wanted undivided attention from him. I know our Counselor would be in agreement with this, as most counselors want us to take a 4 day trip out of town to just be alone to talk and enjoy eachother's company.

Thanks for all the tips! Paislee

[bklynbee]

Just wanted to let everyone know I made it outside today for the first time in almost 2 weeks. I walked with one of my dogs around the block by myself. I felt so tired afterward, I guess i must be out of shaped from staying in the house so much. Hopefully each day I will be able to go a little further. Today was a great accomplishment for me though and I am proud of myself just for that. Hope everyone with colds feels better soon! Have a great night!

[Paisleegreen]

Hip, Hip, Hooray, bklynbee! That's super! I'm very proud of you! I bet you are proud of yourself as well, keep up the good work! Paislee

[SoWhatif]

BB you go lady, getting around the block and exercise regularly will help with many things. Walking also helps clear the mind of our stinkin thinkin.

P I can so much relate to your wanting a stroll by a stream. I am going to throw a dart so to speak and voice a idea for you.
There is no doubt from watching and reading your trails that you are a very good person and maybe try to give to much of yourself. After a while if we spread ourselves to thin or try to cover all the basses it will wear us out prematurely.
I think you have given up way to much authority, delegating it freely to be helpfull and it is being disrespectfully used against you by the rest of the home dwellers. Retake your God given athority and in non-debatable terms tell DH and DS how it is going to be. After readng the toe jam nail and dish washing moments it is clear you may need new batterys in your prod.
Reinstitue the boundries and if needed give them a contract.
Time for a revival of the saying and actions of reinforceing "it's said, Pa thinks he's boss but what Ma says GOES".
Discipline is priceless when applied correctly. Another old and proven saying is, Speak softly and Carry a big Stick. hehe

I may be able to help with some motivational tips. For some reason I think you allready know many. hehe

The best way to reduce anxiety is to remove the stress, be whatever it is.
I be rooting for your team, P.

Tina are you close to the fire? Hope not.

J , Have a great night keeping the light on at the sick house. Be Safe.