"What if" thinking

[Loveslife]

Thank you for your reply, your honesty and thank you for eating.

I wonder if you might feel threatened or insecure when your fiancé leaves for a short time to visit other people. I used to feel very threatened by my husband's first wife. They were married for 21 years, and I thought he loved her more then he loved me.

It wasn't until I admitted this to myself and to her actually, that the feeling went away. I was coming from a place of no self esteem.

I'm wondering if you ever felt abandoned as a child.

PS
I don't know if you need anti depressants like you mention, but an anti anxiety med will help calm you during a panic attack. So will talking to us. We are here, you are not alone...

[tina martin]

It seems it can be difficult to find the right medication and best dose. Maybe ask for the lowest dose for starters. Also, the program here does help people as they state themself. Something for you to also consider. For now we are glad you've eaten something and hope you are calmer to be able to get some rest. Loveslife has good suggestions about possible causes, possible truths to face, however difficult.

I just realized we put the clocks ahead today which puts me in a panic. It's way past my bedtime. The birds have been sleeping a long time. Goodnight Moon, dear loveslife, and good night dear brklynbee. When the warm sun rises tomorrow it will be a better day.

[tina martin]

The clock strikes........and I'm out like a light. Useless. Sorry about that. But I'm up early, way ahead of the birds. Not a sound from them yet.

BB, I hope you got some rest. We must work on you, not friends, not family, not fiance. There isn't a thing you can do with them; there is everything you can do with yourself. Please have something nice and warm this morning and we'll greet a new day. Look in the mirror and say, "I like this new hairdo." We like it too.

[bklynbee]

Good Morning,
I slept really well last night but this morning I am jittery and having heart palps again. I noticed this seems to affect me more in the morning and then as the day goes on it gets better. I just wish I could wake up and just feel normal. You are so right about me feeling abandoned. I feel so alone and as if no one cares. I feel like I need someone to pull me out of this because I am not strong enough to do it on my own. It seems that all my friends and family have turned away from me. Even my own mother. My attitude is if they dont care about me then why should I care about myself? On a positive note my hair actually doesnt look that bad, just need to get it evened out. I needed a good haircut anyway.

[Loveslife]

Good morning to you and to Tina. I'm glad that you (both of you) slept well.

I promise to write more later, as I have an appt this morning. I just want to say that I'm happy to get to know you and also the attitude COULD be, if you don't love yourself, why should the others care about you.

Who do you want people to know when they meet you? I already know a vulnerable, lovely person. The focus must always be on oneself. It is your journey and your life.

Have some juice and toast and try to stretch a bit. I'll be back....

[bklynbee]

That is a great point loveslife if i dont love myself then why should others care about me but i dont know how to love myself. I feel like such a failure in life and I dont know how to rely on myself. Im always looking to someone else to help me and when they dont I feel so let down.I feel like if someone doesnt help me Im going to die but i know people can only help so much, im the one that has to do the work to get better. I feel like im to weak to do it on my own and without support from my loved ones i will not be able to do it. I always think to myself if I had a friend that was in my situation I would never abandoned them...I would be there for them as much as I could so I cannot rationalize why my friends and family are not being there for me. It hurts me when I think about it.

[Loveslife]

"...............I always think to myself if I had a friend that was in my situation I would never abandoned them........"

You do have a friend that will never abandon you. It is YOU.

The beauty of learning to love yourself is that you will always have YOU. I know it is easier said then done, and I know it is a process. Somewhere in your childhood, I think you had needs that might not have been met, or someone let you down. You seem to be testing the people in your RL to see if they will always be there for you. I wonder why that is??

In the mean time, YOU will always be there for you. When you learn to be happy being by yourself, and spending time with yourself, and truly love yourself, your life will change dramatically. You will draw people to you rather then pushing them away with neediness that must stem from childhood.

I'm wondering what the qualities are that you love about yourself. I'll go first.

I love that I've finally learned that I'm quite a lovely person.
I love that I love to help others.
I love that I'm empathetic and filled to the brim with compassion.
I love the color of my eyes and the sound of my laughter.
I love my legs.
I love that I am a good friend and a good listener.
I love that I love nature.
I love to perform random acts of kindness.

Now it's your turn.
What qualities do you love about yourself......

[tina martin]

Dear LL: this post expresses what I learned in the past 3 years.

[Loveslife]

Dear T.,
I wonder who taught me, very gently, to love myself first and foremost? I know it was you but do YOU know how much you have taught me? You always gently just pointed out how it all starts with self love. That should be the 8th wonder...

[tina martin]

Can that possibly be true? When did I learn it? How did I learn it? Where did I learn it? Did you teach it to me? Is it Dr. K's Truth? We have more to learn and to explore, Dear LL. And learning and exploring and growing are also part of the Wonders.

Think about sending Dr. K a friendly note: The Wonders are Infinite.