"What if" thinking

[tina martin]

This is the good part of an open forum. So I just want to give you a S-hotline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255) in case those extreme thoughts continue. It may do you good to just talk to someone.

Loveslife has given you excellent suggestions. You may want to reconsider the Mindfulness approach (meditation). But you may need professional help to address the roots of your anxiety. Do you have a doctor you can call who might see you and prescribe some temporary medication for now? Just some considerations for you. We are here to help you as best we can.

[Loveslife]

I hope you are feeling better Brklnbee. It's Saturday evening and now you are alone. Check in with us to let us know what is happening, if you can.
I'm going to try to take your mind off of it's track, and put it on a new one, so I will blab to try to distract you.
I saw the worst movie today, called Salt. Oh brother. It didn't even have an ending. It only had a middle. And I needlepointed and practiced the guitar.
What did you do today?
PS
I take an anti anxiety medicine daily. I'm not sure why I do, but my doctor wants me to, so I do. Anti anxiety medicine would be very useful in calming your nerves, so that you can begin to understand where your panic is coming from....

[bklynbee]

Hi..I am laying here in my bed with chest pains scared to move because im scared i will have a panic attack and have to spend the night here alone. I havent eaten 1 thing the whole day and I have no one here to help me to get food.I was in such a rage when my fiance left that I went and grabbed a scissor and instead of hurting myself i wound up cutting my hair. I had it in a pony tail and i just cut right from where the rubber band was. I did it to distract myself from the constant pain and anxious state i am in. I feel as if no one cares about me. After today i realized i need some serious help otherwise i dont know what is going to happen. Thank you so much for trying to help me. Its funny how strangers are more willing to help me rather than friends and family.

[Loveslife]

It's not really funny at all that strangers are willing to help. I've thought about this fact more then once regarding the help that I give, and the help that I receive. For me, I like helping people, but for some, I think it is easier to reach out to a stranger on line. Also, it might be easier for some to help people they don't know, or help from a "distance".

I'm wondering why you went into a rage and cut your hair. Do you think you were desperately needing attention? Since we are strangers, and we are at a distance, try to ask yourself the question from a distance. Pretend our roles were reversed, and I cut my hair off when my fiance went away for the weekend and flew into a rage too. Would you wonder why I might have needed the attention?

Is this a pattern that you might have with other people too, or is it that your fiance ignores your needs?

Once, when I was first married, I went for our first Christmas to Vermont with 4 out of 5 stepchildren and my own 6 year old daughter. (years ago)

I didn't want attention, yet I think I was so frightened and panicked that I ended up having to leave early with just my daughter. I too had a panic attack, but I didn't know what it was called way back then.

I want you to try to think what you were feeling when you lashed out. Rage is often a sign of deep hurt, I think.

What were you feeling? What are you feeling now? You are not alone. I'm here with you.....

[Loveslife]

PS
Get up and put something in your stomach right now. A piece of bread with peanut butter and a glass of milk. You will feel better after you have some food. Please try to do this.

[tina martin]

Dear brklynbee, loveslife is here for you and so am I. We'll pretend to be there with you, embrace you and walk with you to make a cup of tea and toast. It was better to cut your hair than hurt yourself. It looks nice on you.

Friends and family can be caught up with themself, they may not even realize, as you also did not quite realize, the extent of your need for help. Recognizing the help you need and will get is the big accomplishment for you today. Try to calm yourself with that thought, maybe also drink some warm milk and know you are not alone. We are here with you.

[Loveslife]

Tina is right. Your hair looks beautiful and we are here to soothe and comfort you. Maybe you can even send your ponytail to locks of love, to make wigs for children with cancer. In any case, you look beautiful.

[tina martin]

I just see what loveslife posted and it is all correct and very insightful. She has much more experience than I have. Please listen to her and try to take some nourishment.

[bklynbee]

when I did it I felt very hurt....He didnt care how I was feeling he was going to go no matter what...I would never do that to him....i managed to get a roll with some ham and im drinking water...I was on paxil many years ago and it worked great for me but then i stopped taking it because i lost my health coverage...i didnt come off of it gradually like you are supposed to which was a big mistake....i tried taking it a couple of years later but i was having bad hot flashes from it and it made my throat feel like it was closing...doc said i might be allergic to it now....so he put me on lexapro...i took half a pill and i felt like i was in another world....i felt so tired but i could not sleep that whole night....it was horrible....now he wants me to try zoloft but i am scared to try anything else....i know deep down i will not get better until i take some kind of medicine....my anxiety is to out of control. It seems though that whenever i take a new med i just sit and wait for the side effects rather than trying not to think about it.

[bklynbee]

thank you for being here with me....it means more than you will ever know.