What happened with ... hmm...Dr. K.? Well, sadly, you don't know the whole story. I'll tell you the short version. We made up.
Occasionally I'll send him a face book message and believe it or not, he always responds. Truthfully, I wish he was still my doctor, but I needed someone close by. I think he knew that before even I did.
What happened with...hmm..Lizzie? Lizzie is always with me. (this is making me cry, literally) I don't have ... how do you say in english..shizophrenia (sp) but from a very young age, I learned to divide my brain. Half of me was here, and half of me was there, so to speak. I named my other half Lizzie. Lizzie has been gone for quite some time, but I have found that in times of tremendous stress, I still call upon her.
What happened with....I'm just guessing...The reason I went to LTT in the first place? We are all healing in our own way.
This is a topic that is still too painful for me, because I feel I could have prevented the most recent and most devastating death.
(you know who I'm referring to if you use that smart noggin of yours)
Since LTT, I have learned that my cousin lost millions and millions of dollars to the same sort of scheme. I also learned that my uncle, my father's very, very, very close brother, was a child abuser sexually. It was in their family. Which is MY family. If I go there, I will need Lizzie, so I won't. I feel ....... blank towards my cousin, for many reasons. It is a long story, and I actually read about it in the paper. I also don't believe certain parts of her story. (she was trying to raise money for a home for sexually abused children, so she invested every penny with this schemer.) I don't believe that. She was trying to raise money to go to the moon. Literally. She also flies fighter bomber jets. She is an interesting woman. She had a life long affair with my father. My cousin did.
There. I said it. I just figured all of this out in the last year.
What ever happened with.....my mother. Nothing. No change. She is still the same. With Brooke: we are hoping for the best. A long term lock down facility mandated by the courts. With Julie. She's A OK.
With my dearest stepson...I have let him go for now. He is demanding an apology for my "childish ways" (dropping him on facebook and telling him "love" holds a family together, not a "cabin")
The cabin in California has been sold to the bank, but my youngest stepson is in the process of buying it. Very Cool for him.
Another stepson is quite ill, but nothing we can do about it with an enabling wife.
What will happen with my DH? I don't know. We have a mountain of debt and I will see to it that we make every last payment. Who knew that it would be me that would have to find the strength to save this family.
I'm only starting part two of my life, and I am quite happy, Tina.
Quite happy indeed.Please don't leave here. I get panicky if I think you are going to leave. Or R. Thankfully, R is my facebook friend. Now, if I can only convince you. Marilyn is too BTW, and she misses you and worries about you. I will email her again tomorrow. I haven't heard from her in quite some time, and it was Marilyn who literally saved my life after I left LTT in shame.
Well, all's well that ends well. For now.
Love,
J.
