Changes, How do we make them?

[Loveslife]

Tina,
I read your post and closed my laptop and thought long and hard about your words.

You have helped me more then you will ever know, tonight.

I am hurting and aching and was about to give up. I truly was. Plus, my supervisor, (the one that I will no longer give much thought to) belittled my new job today, over and over. Why would you want to be an operator? Oh, she had so many belittling questions for me.

But also today a minister came into the hospital, to see a patient. I didn't know he was a minister, as he had an overcoat on, and he didn't stop an present his clergy pass. Our hospital has strict rules, and ever since the Arizona incident, our rules have become even stricter.

Anyway, I asked him if I could help him, and he said he knew where he was going. I just smiled, and replied that I understand, but I still need to know where he wants to go, so that I may give him the proper pass, etc, etc.

He became arrogant, but I'm trained to handle the arrogant or rude people with a smile. I'm trained to remember that it is a hospital and not everyone is in a happy situation. In fact, most are not, with the exception of the family childbirth center.

Anyway, I said to myself, "myself, I wonder why he is not humble, if he is truly a member of the clergy"

I repeated the word tonight, after I read and thought about your post, Tina.

Humble.

Of course, you are right. Work is work, and I will feel proud to receive a well earned paycheck. I will feel good about myself, and no one can take that away from me.

I felt humbled after reading your words.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I won't give up, I will work hard and I will be doing humbling work. I feel grateful for the chance.

Love,

Me.

[Loveslife]

PS
After much consideration, black cords, white turtleneck and black boots.

[tina martin]

Gorgeous, J. It is interesting how simple planning like that can help. Can you eat in their cafeteria? Am with you all the way. We'll take it a piece at a time. Big embrace for you.

[Loveslife]

Thanks Tina. Yes, I am encouraged to eat in their cafe., and it is quite good with very reasonable prices. I actually have two free lunch cards in my jacket pocket. My problem is I don't have an appetite quite yet, but I am longing for freshly squeezed OJ and some cantelope melon for some reason.
Good night sweet Tina, and thank you for your encouraging words.

[Paisleegreen]

Hi all-- Hi J and Hi Tina! I first read this posting and it was a little odd to me, but it is beginning to make some sense. I didn't listen to the video, but assuming it is Puff the Magic Dragon. Not sure though.

J, just as Tina said, all work is great! And you are going to do just fine. It isn't always the type of work, it is the character of the person. So you go, Girl. We're rooting for you! Paislee

[tina martin]

Hi Paislee. Glad you are joining us. Do want to mention that in my effort to make sure we are attending to everyone starting a thread or posting, I notice the site is likely to shut down again. But with patience it hopefully returns again.

Good night, sweet dreams.

[SoWhatif]

Paislee glad your here.
Tina I am laying low and let you girls plan.
My curfue is off tomorow, thinking about taking a crap in someones corn flakes. Is it revenge or persistance?
Maybe I should just behave and slide back under my rock. Decisions, decisions.

What would Jackie do? Maybe lead Red to having another epifhany of Liberty.

Could stay around here and catch a virus, except I am with Tina, a vitimin c and d consumer with lots of fishy oil and a blend of vit e, top it off with a Niacin rush. Allmost as good as sex.....

[tina martin]

Red would pass out in Liberty. He likes it best in Siberia. Jackie is nobody's fool: plays with Puff until he marches off to his own drum.

Niacin? Maybe I'll add that to the mix, eat the 100% of everything cereal, and quit all else. More time to get more degrees.

What do you think of J doing the night shift? Perhaps she'll find buddies like Henry Winkler and Michael Keaton as in the movie Night Shift. Worries me.

[SoWhatif]

The darkness brings many temptaions. My vote is the strength is there. I am worried about the plan or lack there of.
It is hard to navagate when there is a waivering benchmark. Keeping her mind clear and alert and nourishing her body will be her strongest defense.
I will have her back covered when I am able. Wandering in the wilderness is intoxicating and dangerous, with some basic skills and unwaivering dicipline one can emerge with a zest for their mission.

She does not need buddies, my thought would be the need is more like a mature and wise mentor.
I know what a midshift and nightshift can do the the body clock, it takes extra care and awarness our we loose the way and find ourselves just going thru the motions with no feelings.

The Niacin the Dr. said to take to increase circulaion and naturally break down colesterol. It has worked for me in both areas. One from my fingers and such not getting so cold and the other proven by blood tests.

Thanks Tina for giving me the opportunity to see that Jackie changed with maturity and that it is cause for happyness instead of sorrow. I humbly find it reassuring and comforting.

I may still see if the academic Red can be grounded by learning love. Why does that attract me?

[Paisleegreen]

Wow, I have reread this, and find it interesting, entertaining, or something else. I don't have the word for but I bet Tina does!
The storyline was starting to sink in, and I'm loving it! I know part of it that I haven't really watched or listened to Puff for eons of time and so that took me a while to comprehend what the 3 of you were discussing. But I'm in a thinking type of mood right now. Debating to take a nibble of a calming rx. But I worry about the ramifications. I've just haven't been sleeping well and had scary dreams. I even slept w/ the window open and it was freezing night last night. But I had to clear the smell of curried chicken from an Indian restaurant that DH cleaned last night.

All the critters/occupants of the house seem to come alive when I'm trying to sleep. DS's GF giggles way too loud and DS talks loud, and I just get frustrated or irritated. Ugh. My sleeping aid use to keep me being woken up, but I've had a lot of anxiety issues flooding due to my family of origin dynamics. So I've done a lot of weeping and praying, trying to use some form of positive or rational thought process to make the feelings go away. They seem to and then I can sleep, just to wake up in the middle of the night and this morning to anxious body symptoms, pulsating through my gut system.

I still want to cry because I am so sad and I don't know what to do. If the weather was warmer, it would help. I know I'll feel better once the sun is shining and I can get outside and work in my gardens. Right now I just want to hibernate. I eat what I can which mainly consist of tuna on toast and eggs, almonds and yogurt, milk. Anything else seems to upset my gut region.
I know I need to take vitamins, but right now they sort of energize or make my gut churn.

I test to see if I feel better by living my bedroom and coming to the computer. It is helping, but I have an underlying feeling of "sick" and a tight throat, and I want to weep. Noone really understands me around here and I want to see my Psychologist just to talk to him alone w/o DH. But I didn't call yesterday to make an appointment, because I might feel better next week.
So I don't know if next week I can get in to see him. I do have a standing appt in about 10 days, but can I last that long.

Before I came here I went to FB and they asked me for my password. I can't recall it right now. I haven't had to use for awhile. I will have to go rest and think about it, even though they asked for new if I wanted. I would rather see if I can recall my original password.

Anyway, thanks for listening, I'm really glad for all you posted, I am understanding it the fantasy and love the Tina's Boss talk about her degrees and why he wanted to marry her. I liked J's talk about her new job, the clergy man, the supervisor, and R's comments as well. They are all fitting together in my mind's eye, as I have to recall where you all came from.

Also, talking about Red, all so fascinating. Well, my "cold" that maybe I've been suffering from and didn't know it is showing itself by sneezing and other symptoms of a headcold that just might be getting better. All without the help of sufficient Vit C, which I've been scared to take only because of my body symptoms. Maybe my worry about my sister and her future demise from her trailer world might be coming to an end and 4 of us siblings have to be exhibit "tough love" for her sake and our own sanity. It has been a very stressful experience for me to be the covert one to really go check out her situation and find it to be so disheartening to have her live the way she does, while the rest of us can live so comfortably and enjoy life, the best one can with our own trials in life.

I better post this, I hear the birds coming back to visit my birch tree and clematis vines near my front door. They are chirping a way. I thought I heard the other day a Mourning Dove getting ready to nest then, soon I will hear its more distinct sad call from the powerline. Is called "Mourning Dove" or "Morning Dove". I guess some could argue about the name, I think they both fit, but I love their mournful, morning calls. Paislee