NinjaFrodo's Sleep and Diet Journal

[NinjaFrodo]

Hey guys I'm back again for another set of journalling. How exciting, more insights more growth and probabbly some deprograming as well. Now this journal will be more focused on my diet and my sleep as I've noticed from personal experience that these can really affect your ability to accept ideas, habits, concepts and even progress.

In the training I had in the collage we learned how there is a mind-body connection in many diffrent ways. One of those ways I'd like to talk about would be elimination. They say when it is hard for one to let go of things mentally/emotionally that it actually makes it difficult to have bowel movements as well and vice versa. I have found this to be extremely true especially when I under went a whole body cleanse and when I consumed too much dairy. No matter how much i tried to learn a new habit or practice relaxation or say positive things...I still couldn't fully accept it. Things felt completely fake, I thought what i was doing was useless and stupid and I couldn't really accept myself for who I really am. This is when i'm weighed down by food and my digestive system isn't working properly but wow when i'm more regular I feel so much better and I have a much easier time to accept anything...I even feel more connected with people. So This is what i'm working towards and this is what I'd like to maintain. I want a good diet that keeps me regular, energized and well happy.

Sleep is also very important as well as we all know if we lack it, we become bitter and very irritable. What i've learned about sleep is it is the time we cleanse ourselves the most. It is the body's natural way of detoxing itself and this is something really important for myself and for well everybody who eats, breathes and deals with stress as there are many polutants in our air and food and stress creates inner polution.

My goal is to get myself to sleep between 8:45-10pm. They say in Ayerveda that your body starts the cleansing at 9pm and they actually suggest to get to bed that early so I figured I'd give it a go and let everybody know how it goes and hopefully people can get ideas from it or motivationation and inspiration.


Keep going strong You deserve a good life

Mike

[Guest]

Day 1 (In the beginning)

Ok so I ended up getting myself to bed at 8:45pm and I really actualy felt like i could have gotten to bed around 7pm but wow is that ever early. I felt soooo good to not have to rush to get to sleep and it was nice to just lie there and do nothing. I used to be over-run with so many thoughts just racing around like crazy but I think I've face alot of the things that needed to get done and dealt with...at least the really important things like finances and working on my goals. I also feel good knowing that I'd get up early enough to get a bunch of things done that I'd want to get done.

Suprisingly enough I actually woke up at 3:30am giving myself about 6.5 hours sleep which is usually not enough for me but it wasn't too bad as I did get to sleep really early. I wasn't able to get myself back to sleep but that was alright I got alot of things accomplished. I did my meditations, some stretching, used sea salt water to encourage elimination, made a good healthy breakfast and prepared lunch, made some green smoothies (really yummy), looked at my pictures of smiling people, did some singing lessons from the cd I made and also walked to work. I was really happy that I was able to get these things done. I dunno if it was the lack of sleep or my digestion but I kept having energy fluxes meaning I went from being up to being completely exhausted to being up again...it really sucked but hey I dealt with it.

I got to work and I think my anxiety level was a bit higher than normal just because I was tired and unfortunately the sea salt water I consumed was still in affect even while i was at work...I had to rush to the bathroom a few times, not so fun. I was also thinking that I wasn't going to be able to get anyone because i was too tired but I proved myself wrong and recruted 4 people for the focus groups. I was also easily distracted by my co-workers laughing and talking in the background and I actually tried to leave a message and said "Hi this message is for mike...I mean no I'm mike" and it was so hilarious and a few of my co-workers were laughing so hard and I actually had a hard time containing my own laugh. It feels so much better to be able to laugh at my mistakes and if it wasn't for this program I think I would have still felt completely insecure for all my mistakes.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow and who I'm going to become in the future


Accomps;79 (Sleep before 9pm, 53 attempts to overcome social limitation, 70% vegies)

Mike

[Guest]

I can't believe you were able to peel yourself out of bed at 3:30am and get all that stuff done AND walk to work! When I wake up that early, I just cannot get myself to get up. I hope you feel great about your accomplishment!

[Guest]

missgsr

Thank you however, I couldn't get myself back to sleep and I already had 6.5 hours sleep so it wasn't too bad. It took a little while to get up and going.

Mike

[Guest]

Day 2 (Almost Fired)

Ok so far 2 nights in a row where I got to bed pretty early. I'm feeling great while getting myself to bed early so I'm not rushing to go to sleep and it really does cut down the stress level which I think right now is one of the most important things for me.

So today at work I had a talking to...I thought I was going to get fired or was almost fired because with the screeners we have to do with people over the phone, sometimes we have to probe (get them to alter there answer so it fits with the requirements they're looking for in a person qualified for the focus group) and I was apparently really loud. I don't always realize when i'm being loud and apparently this was one of those times and they over heard me telling the person to say a specific answer if they asked him the question. Wow did I ever feel like crap. I felt so guilty 1 for being caught and 2 because I knew it was wrong in the first place but I felt I needed to do this to get the recrutes that I needed so I don't get fired. Anyways 2 of the supervisors talked to me about it and everything is fine now...and I talked to some of my co-workers and they gave me suggestions that would help out if I am in a similar situation.

So overall I'm still feeling pretty exhausted and wanting to rest alot. I don't have much of an appetite as I used to but I'm still eatting an alright ammount of food. I actually think that I need to look at what I do have instead of what I'm expecting to have that I don't.

Ok so I'm still social and I let myself open up a bit more than before I started this job, I'm still at the job despite still having anxiety when calling each person, I'm feeling pretty good still with the wayne dyer chanting and the meditations and I still have hope for the future.

Work was also really fun because of the lax tea I felt a bit nautious but not too bad.

Oh and I decided that I really needed to start the singing lessons and early in the morning was the best time because it's something I like doing and so it cuts down my stress before work and that's a huge bonus.

Food-wise I've tried to use alot of colder type foods such as salads, green smoothies and cereal in an attempt to move the stuff out that i've accumulated from the week of christmas and it's helped but I'm starting to think that maybe what I need to do is have a bit of hot type foods too like salads with a hot spice, soup with cayenne, hot stew, pourrage and such. Also in Ayervedic medicine they suggest to drink a bit of hot/really warm water every 15 minutes to help increase the functioning of the digestive system. I really hope this works.

Food;
Breakfast
Cereal with Chlorophil & Soya Milk, lemonade, blueberries, laxative tea (Senna pods & ginger root), Green smoothe 1cup (blue berries, plum, orange juice & spinich) which was actually gross and a Plum.

Lunch
Orange, Salad (Spinach, bell pepper, Wakame, Zuccini, green onions & hemp seed oil), bean salad with other salads mixed (rice, quinoa, chickpea, beans, carrots, raisins).

Dinner
Cereal, clorophil, fortune cookie, chicken Shwarma with honey mustard.

Accomps;111 (83 social attempts, sleep at 9:15)

Mike

[Guest]

Hey Ninjafrodo, you are one disciplined dude. starting and sticking to these regimens, I admire your focus. Tell me if I'm correct in my reflection that you put a lot of pressure on yourself to make these regimens work. Can your relaxed, meditated self just try them out and see what happens? The old Charles Atlas bodybuilding course included an exercise to keep a person "regular." Before you go to sleep, and before you get out of bed in the morning, lay flat on your back, bend your leg and hug your knee to your chest. Then do the other leg. Do each leg, alternately, 10 times. After 1, 2 or 3 sessions--piece o' cake. Keep up the good work. You're a warrior.

[bew]

James K

Thank you for the compliment. You would be very suprised how despiration can be very motivating. Hmm put alot of pressure on myself to make the regimens work...possibly but there is more pressure on myself if I don't make the effort I need in order to become the person I'd like to be. What I need to do just comes to me and I think it clicks in my mind or my heart and then it just feels right to do...I believe that is when I can stick with the regimens...when it isn't something that clicks and I try forcing myself to like it and to feel right about it...thats when I cannot stick with it. I believe this is what happened with the tic marking thing i was doing. It felt right up until my last journal entry then I felt it was done so I moved on. I did have an original goal of 21 days but after that I didn't pressure myself to reach any other timed goal so I think the pressure actually lessened after that. I'm trying not to put as much pressure for this new thing i'm trying with diet and sleep...no time limit this time.

That sounds like an excellent exercise. I'll check it out.

It's funny how you mentioned about my relaxed and meditated self...I'm actually coming to realize why Lucinda recommened to do the relaxation cd at least 3 times a day...Once is really helpful and I think it keeps the stress from getting worse but I think doing it more often will actually help to reduce the stress. I used to be more motivated to do the relaxation cd 3 times a day but I had sabbotaged my efforts because I believe at the time I felt like I didn't deserve it and felt guilty on a deep level. That's changed alot since the tic marking and I think it'd be a great time to try again. Thanks for being apart of me figuring this out

A warrior...thats cool. My idol is a warrior too


Mike

[Guest]

Day 3 (New Years Eve)

Today seemed like it was really long. I had woken up at 4am just because my body wanted to and I had work for half the day which wasn't too bad. Half days are so less stressful for me I'm really happy for it. I was planning to do some activities at the sangha centre but I was just so exhausted that it didn't happen this way. I've been so exhausted ever since I tried the baileys with Eggnog...of course that isn't the only factor involved. Anyways, I skipped out going there and I was hoping to get a nap in which never happened and then I went to my friend's friend's place for new years. I also feel really great that I went to the party...It was a huge accomplishment because of my social limitation and also because I had alot of fun instead of last years new years where I just felt really uncomfortable and isolated and wanted to run away.

The new years part was really fun and I was still pretty social despite being exhausted and my guts hurting possibly because of the craziness going on in my intestines from the food and the attempts to flush my system out. My focus that night was mainly on this one guy who was really attractive and so I spent most of my time hanging around him and my friend. I know he is obviously gay but I also know he is Italian and so he is probabbly in the closet. He seems to like me too because he spent most of the night making eye contact with both my friend and I even if we were all the way at the other side of the house...but alas I don't think it would be safe for him to make any kind of move.

My eatting was alright in the beginning of the day but once I got to the party it just kinda went down which was of course to be expected. Well I guess it was toooo bad...Neways you'll see in the food diary part.

I also started the Nichurian Buddhist chanting early in the morning before work. Nam Myoho Renge Kyo is what I was saying over and over again for 5 minutes and it's intresting because I've done other chanting work before but this seems diffrent. I feel alot calmer than the other chants and more...I guess connected. As the words come out it just resonates with my whole body. I'm hoping to do this for a few weeks just to see how I feel.

Food;
Lemonade & gingerale with olive oil, 1 cup hot water, porrage & cereal, Tuna salad, Pita bread, Hummus, Baba Ganoush, Corn chips and salsa, Chicken wings, rice crispy squares

Accomps;66 (Got to sleep by 10, Woke up at 4, 56 Social attempts, 1 relaxation)


Mike

[Guest]

Day 4 (I don't want to go home)

Ok so I got to sleep at 4am so I was up for 24 hours and I actually feel pretty gross today. I don't like staying up that late but it was definately worth it and despite feeling the way I did, I still had fun socializing and being with the people from last night. I actually didn't want to leave but I wanted to get a few things done at the house.

We watched a few movies...had a lazy day really and it felt great. We also played Baulderdash which was soooo fun...making up definitions for words that don't exsist. There were alot of crazy definitions. We got to laughing and I think it just helped to open me up more. The jokester in myself is surfacing mroe and more and I like it.

We all made breakfast for ourselves well the others did and I wasn't sure what I was suppose to do...some people were cleaning things up while others were making food and here I was feeling really akward and telling myself I'm not doing anything to help...I need to do soemthing to help but what can I do. I think next time I should just ask.

As for getting things done...um there wasn't too many things I did do that day and you know what, that's alright. I don't need to be productive everyday.



Food wise;
I don't remember all the foods I ate but i'll try.

Cornchips & salsa, eggs, bacon, toast, cereal, tuna salad.


Accomps;6 (2 relaxations)


Mike

[Guest]

Day 5 (Coping Mechanisms)

Lately I've found myself going back to my old ways of handling stress and my life...What happens is I will try desparately to run away if I can in the moment (by spacing out) and when I get home I'll stick myself in front of a videogame for a few hours on end and feel crappy that I'm not taking care of other things that I need to do like dishes or cleaning or something else. I actually have a hard time enjoying the game but I keep telling myself that I don't have the energy or motivation to do other things. It seems to actually bring me down more and I go back into that thinking that I'm not accomplishing anything again. I'm not open and accepting the way I was before...I'm starting to go back to who I was before and I refuse to do this.

After a discussion yestaurday with a fellow member of the forums I realized what I needed is not to sit myself infront of a videogame when i get stressed out but to use relaxation methods. I already do this Once a day and it does help but it isn't enough to rebalance the imbalance with the stress response & relaxation response. This is what I really need to do and it has to be ones that I like doing or else it will just cause me stress and how is that suppose to help me?

We had the option for a half day today and I definately took it. I was feeling too much like garbadge not to. I don't feel motivated to do anything right now. I need to open myself back up again...my main goals today and for a little while is eatting "properly" and resting. I'm hoping this will help to open me back up so I can accept my progress and my accomplishments and allow the passion to come back again.

There is a dating site that I visit from time to time and I've contacted a few guys that I'm attracted to but it's intresting...I keep telling myself that I couldn't be with them because I have this wrong with me and that wrong with me. I guess I am still pretty negative eh. Right now I'm not ready to be in a relationship but that doesn't mean I'll never be ready. I'm not ready because I feel insecure about myself and people...not because there is things wrong with me. I think I need to spend some time replacing negative thoughts on paper.

This last weekend is the last one for schedualed shifts at the restaurant and i'm going to be really happy once I get the weekends off. It's been awhile actually. My last day was suppose to be on the sataurday but they didn't have anybody who could take the sunday shift because people were out of town or already working that day or just unavailable and actually the person who works with the schedual in my opinion, manipulated me into taking that shift and I'm actually a little resentful but I did learn a good lesson out of it...Don't get really specific in your explaination as to why you can't do something when someone asks you...You don't have to tell them why. I guess I just felt guilty.


Food;
Pudding with chlorophil & peaches, tuna salad, pourrage & cereal, bean salad, 2 hot water and 2 tea.

I wasn't really hungry but thats alright. This sometimes happens If I haven't watched what I've been eatting.

Accomps;72 (57 social attempts, Went to bed by 11 and woke up at 7, 2 tics and 2 relaxation times)


Mike