Just joined network; lots of concerns

GMC · Post by **GMC** » Sat Dec 13, 2008 11:50 am

Hi all,
I am 22 and have been in a serious standstill in my life for what feels like too long now. I have always been a worrier and very tense and it seems that it's finally all caught up with me. I started having panic and anxiety attacks last May and they went away for a bit and then came back in late August and pretty much have just been escalating in severity since, to the point where now my chest is constantly tight and heavy and I'm having pains and thinking\worrying obsessively all day long. My parents got divorced a little over a year ago now and from that and overall stress\depression I had to take a break from college. Some people think my anxiety is from distress over the divorce and all the dysfunction leading up to it. However, when I am deep in my anxious thinking, it doesn't seem to be related to that specifically. My mom ordered me the program in September and I've tried to use it but keep getting sidetracked. I wanted to know how anyone else with this problem experiences the obsessive thinking about different fears. For instance, I keep having fantasies about dropping out of society because I have found it too overwhelming and meaningless for so long. But then I get terrified of whatever I imagine actually doing, i.e. leaving home with nothing, random wandering, having to fend for myself. Lots of things come up and it's too much to handle usually. I also wonder if these sorts of thoughts are 'cover up' thoughts that Lucinda talks about, ones that I am using to mentally escape from dealing with actual real worries. Ok this was a really long post but if anyone reads this far and connects or can offer any insights I would very much appreciate it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Dec 13, 2008 12:08 pm

hey i can totally relate i have been dealing with this stuff for a couple of years i noticed mine is like a big cycle something i hear or see on tv and boom im off and running it has gotten alot better with the program life is totally livable and more enjoyable lately i relixe what is happening i cant totally stop it quite yet but im getting there hang in there it gets better

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Dec 13, 2008 12:28 pm

Hi, I'm going to be 44 next week and i've been dealing with this for a very long time. I had very much the same kind of thoughts that you are having, but i do feel a lot better now that i'm using the program. I think you need to get in a better frame of mind and force yourself to realize that knowledge is power over these thoughts and knowing that other people have them, should ease your feelings of isolation. It did for me!! Hope that helped you, and good luck, i mean it!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Dec 13, 2008 3:57 pm

You are already making some good decisions by working on the program, so you can feel good about that! Remember that if this problem has been building in your life over time, it will take awhile to to get it under control. Don't beat yourself up for taking a break from school - do what you need to do. I too find myself trying to find out "why" I feel anxious - usually I can't even explain why. Sometime I will try to go back through my whole life looking for underlying problems. Maybe there are a few, but I have found it more helpful to focus on the future. Sounds like you have been through alot - give yourself some grace to feel anxious or overwhelmed, but keep at it. You'll feel better soon!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Dec 13, 2008 4:40 pm

GMC, everything you are experiencing is what everyone else is or has gone through. I know you have been through a lot and it's tough, but so have many of us, so your not alone in any of this. I want to let you know there is hope and HEALING waiting for you! You need to determine if you want to stay in the anxiety lifestyle or get out of it, and we both know you dont want to stay in it, so get into the program! It DOES WORK! You are like us, we all tend to think and reason within ourselves that "no one else could possibly be going through what I am" but we have and I am here to tell you that you can and will get out of it with some determination. Don't let ANYTHING distract you from the program!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Dec 14, 2008 12:30 am

GMC, bowden, Liber1964, HisGirl and RodH are all correct. You need to take care of yourself. Working the program does take time, but it is worth it. I am 45 and my panic attacks started in my 20s, when my parents divorced. I did not think they were related, but it was a huge stress that triggered the attacks. I was always what-if thinking. I still what-if think now, after going through the program, but I can stop myself and realize it is just the anxiety trying to take control. The positive self-talk in Session 3 has been crucial to my getting over my anxiety. I still work on getting over the negative what-if thinking and replacing it with positive self-talk.

If your anxiety and thoughts get really bad, deep breath, use the relaxation cd and remember they are thoughts, only thoughts.

LisaLisa

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:37 am

I'm not sure what Lucinda talks about but there is no such thing as a cover up thought.

Essentially what happens when a person goes through continuous stress and trauma, without a way to relieve this stress, a cognitive pattern happens where the person reacts to everything the same way "with stress and fear". This is due to cognitive learning as well as chemical imbalance within the body. Now as a result slightest issues and thoughts become big because the person has only learned to respond to everything with anxiety and every simple issue and thought becomes a major problem.

I think what you need to do is 1) take it easy on yourself and 2) think about how you can possibly change the way things are.

You may not be able to do much about the divorce but you may be able to keep in touch with both parents and at the same time make your own life more fun. If necessary see a therapist to assist you but what you need to do is to realize that you will get better and it will take time and change of lifestyle to get there.

Hope that helps