Thinking about yourself less

Faith_TX · Post by **Faith_TX** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 6:50 am

I got an email earlier this summer from someone that was giving me advice about anxiety. This makes sense but I'm not sure how you do it. We're not in touch any more. It was a coach that I'm no longer dealing with ($$) and not a coach from StressCenter.com.

What do y'all think about this:

"Please limit the time you spend on thinking about "you" each day. Such as, how you feel, how you are, how you are anxious, how you are sad, how people treat you. When you find that you are dwelling on you, switch that to how your kids feel, how your family is doing, how you can do something for someone else, how can you make others happy, how you can improve your relationship, work, faith, health"

I think she has a point but I don't know how to stop thinking about myself.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 7:04 am

This quote makes sense. I sometimes find that if my wife or kids have a problem I focus on helping them and as a result I stop focusing on myself. I guess that is what is good about this forum.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 3:52 pm

This makes a lot of sense to me also. I can see where focusing on someone else in lieu of ourselves all the time and how we are feeling would help a lot. I've read that people who monitor their moods constantly (like all day) are more prone to anxiety and worry.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 5:25 pm

I wonder how we could work this program if we did not think about our life enough to see need to change in areas that would help us progress on to happier days and happier lives by seeing what we need to change or work on in order to cope or deal with our thoughts and needs?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Dec 10, 2008 1:04 am

This is where I get confused. I know that monitoring my moods constantly isn't good. But, how do I stop?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Dec 10, 2008 2:26 am

Dewdrop - It does seem to contradict doesn't it? I believe there is a difference between obsessing over every change in mood, and catching our negative thoughts to re direct them. Monitoring our moods can become an obsession all on its own. Once the thinking is directed in a more positive way and the fear of how we feel during anxiety diminishes, the need to monitor every mood also seems to fade. This is how it happened for me after completing the program, and I realize not everyone has the same exact outcome.

Faith-TX- Maybe you could use the technique from the program used for worrying? Set a time limit for monitoring the moods and tell yourself that you will set aside one hour in the evening or whenever to monitor how you are feeling and that the rest of the time will be spent 'doing' and not monitoring. Just a suggestion- you may have already tried this.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Dec 10, 2008 4:05 am

I haven't tried that. I should try it.

And yes, it has become an obsession.

I was told years ago that my fear of "going crazy" was unfounded, because people that really are "crazy" don't realize that they are. I think, in a goofy sort of way, I told myself that if I constantly questioned my sanity, that would mean that I'm NOT "crazy". I know I need to stop doing it, I just have to figure out how.

John * Thunder! · Post by **John * Thunder!** » Thu Dec 11, 2008 1:13 pm

a really good technique is to write 3 pages in the morning..just pour out everything in your head. The trick is to force yourself to write 3 full pages, because usually we stop writing when we're 'done' so we never break out of our circular thoughts. After you have gone through your regular, boring, same old annoying thoughts, you must keep writing even if it's only, "I hate this, I have nothing else to say, this is dumb" whatever..you'll be surprised what your brain might think when you get past that same old circle of thoughts!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 11, 2008 2:10 pm

Interesting. I should try that.

Enlightened · Post by **Enlightened** » Thu Dec 11, 2008 2:20 pm

yeah, try it. Also, it doesn't have to be in the morning. The thing is, we often think we have so many thoughts, but really it's alot of the same thought over and over and over and over and over.