Holiday Stress

Lynnier · Post by **Lynnier** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 2:40 am

Hi: I'm new to the program, having started about 3 weeks ago. Everything was going great until the point I started to feel bombarded by the demands of the upcoming Holiday Season. I opened an email about yet another obligation and wanted to scream because I just don't know how I'm going to get all this done. I immediately started to panic, but thankfully knew enough to stop an anxiety/panic attack. I just don't know what to do to handle this, get everything done and live up to these obligations without driving myself - and everyone around me - crazy. Please offer any and all suggestions.
Thanks,
Lynnier

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 2:53 am

Lynnier - The Holidays are stressful to us all, but that is not what it is meant to be. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and evaluate all that have been ask to do, and see what is what you want to do. My wife and I over the past few years have changed our holiday schedule to make it more fun for our kids, and enjoyable for us. We have alot of things we are ask to attend, or people to go visit, but we are only human and can only do so much. This is a time of year to enjoy and celebrate with the ones that are near and dear to your heart. Don't let that get lost in the stress and chaos of the season. You deserve to enjoy them as well. Pick what you can realistically do, and do the things you want, and it will be more enjoyable, and less stressful. Good Luck, and Happy Holidays

hopehound · Post by **hopehound** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 2:59 am

Maybe you could make a list of the obligations that are important and the ones that can be eliminated?? There is a good session in the program on time management and looking at how and where we spend our time. Maybe you could go over this session early as it may help you right now. You may need to muster up your assertiveness and decline some of the obligations.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 3:45 am

Have you listened to the lesson on being assertive? This lesson will help with this alot. It's okay to say NO to people. Its a hard thing to do, but the program will help you to learn to do it. Part of dealing with Anxiety is learning to say NO and to delegate to others.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 6:28 am

Nelson, Mary and Rose have excellent advice (I'm going to use it myself

).

I might add, I would much rather be around people during the holidays who are enjoying themselves, instead of people who are micromanaging everything into perfection!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 7:14 am

Hi there! I just blogged about this subject on my blog - I found a really great educational video through the University of California -
<A HREF="http://soundmindblog.blogspot.com/2008/ ... idays.html" TARGET=_blank>Holiday Stress</A>

It is so important to pace yourself through the holidays. They can be so overwhelming. Try not to allow all the "do's" to ruin these special days ahead.

Take Time out to embrace those you love and cherish and bring yourself into the present moment.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:53 am

Thanks for the great words of wisdom. I appreciate it.
Happy Holidays,
Lynnier

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 1:52 am

Lynnier: I will bet you find the lesson on Expectations helpful...if you haven't gotten there already. It might be a well-timed week for you! I consider myself "mostly" recovered, and I still have difficulty this time of year. There is good advice posted on here already, but even with saying "no" to some things, there are still always events that fill up your time. Being too busy is a trigger for me, but I have found that it helps to come back to my thoughts always. If I find myself stressing because of all these things I have to do, I stop and talk to myself. Usually the reality isn't as awful as I make it out to be, and I list the positive reasons why I wanted to have whatever it is as part of my or my kid's holiday experience.

Have you thought hard about which part of the holidays is really stressful? You do mention events, so maybe that is it. For me it is the whole gift part of it. My family is big on "lists" and finding what the person really would like. But also finding the perfect surprise. There is a lot of "I found this for Grandma...do you want that to be from you?"...so what is my part in the process except paying for it? My Dad buys his own gifts, and we pay him back. One year I suggested he might as well wrap them for himself, so he does! And puts a yellow sticky on it with the price. My Mom is in her 60's and has found herself more than once at Walmart at 1:00 am. I tried to simplify by having my kids make gifts for the grandparents, but my 5-year-old has VERY specific ideas about the world and holidays. So they had finished their gifts already, and I kept telling him how much family loved to get something homemade from kids, etc. I couldn't convince him, so I finally gave in and took he and his older brother shopping. I'll have to say I had more fun then watching them pick out things...I could see how much they love their grandparents. Although it was frustrating too because it wasn't MY idea of how THEY were supposed to do things (and I tried a little bit to steer them toward something the person might remotely want...try talking a 5-year-old out of a baseball player nutcracker for his grandmother!), but it was very freeing to just give in, and enjoy them expressing their love. It was very unlike me, but I am striving for more moments like this.

Please share any tips you find that help!
formerly "Sleepless" Mom

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 1:53 am

sunset:
I tried to link to the educational video on Holiday Stress...but it said the link moved. Could you re-post it? Thanks!