Thanksgiving went well. Keeping my hopes in this program, and reading your posts has given me encouragement. So far, I am already reducing the number and severity of panic attacks. That is fueling a better mood and attitude, almost by it's self. Feeling hope in a time that I usually feel hopeless is amazing!
I truly have some thing to feel thankful for this year!
Empty Chairs During Holidays
Dana Sue, like you, I am new to the program and am amazed at how the anxiety and panic attacks have already started to subside, and how my mood has improved.
Also, like you, I deal with the empty chair(s). My husband died 12 years ago, and I still have times I wish I could reach into the past and pull him into the present. If only it were that easy.
I agree that death is just a release from our bodies, and that we will see those we have lost again. Sometimes that is all that gets me through the days and nights. Melancholy comes often during the holidays, and I allow myself to feel it, without focusing on it and obsessing about it. Hold onto the positive thoughts of what we believe. While the feelings of loss will never truly go away, they somehow don't seem as bad.
Also, like you, I deal with the empty chair(s). My husband died 12 years ago, and I still have times I wish I could reach into the past and pull him into the present. If only it were that easy.
I agree that death is just a release from our bodies, and that we will see those we have lost again. Sometimes that is all that gets me through the days and nights. Melancholy comes often during the holidays, and I allow myself to feel it, without focusing on it and obsessing about it. Hold onto the positive thoughts of what we believe. While the feelings of loss will never truly go away, they somehow don't seem as bad.
Hi Lynnier. I did not mean to miss your post, but I only just saw it today. I enjoyed the imagery you conjure up with reaching into the past and pulling your husband back. I have certainly had these thoughts, too. When I was a child and ranch pets would die, I used to pretend I could grow my arms long enough to do just that: reach into the past and grab them and bring them back. Through the years I’ve often felt that way about all the people I keep losing. The other night I had a dream. My telephone rang and when I answered, I heard my mother’s voice on the other end of the line reminding me that she died. I spent a few days wondering what this meant. I believe she was telling me life goes on. Most of my family is gone, but there are so many people in my life who are still here. When I see Christmas closing in and I feel sad, it’s okay. I am sad without these people. But I am still here, and life does continue. My life is what I make it.
I really enjoyed your post. I hope we can all remain together, as David (Chief Crazy Horse) suggests, In Spirit, through these holidays. Thank you.
I really enjoyed your post. I hope we can all remain together, as David (Chief Crazy Horse) suggests, In Spirit, through these holidays. Thank you.
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oops pasted it on
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Wed Dec 03, 2008 10:38 pm
Hi
I just read the posts written in November. I am much farther away from the initial shock of the passing of loved ones then most of you seem to be. I have lost my Father, Mother, Step Father, all of my grand parents, a nephew, and I am at present losing a close cousin I grew up with to the end of her cancer battle, and a younger brother to muscular dystrophy. And wanted to pass on a little wisdom experience has taught me.
Take the time you have now to grieve for your lost loved ones and embrace it. Life does go on and you will soon realize that there are many things that are going to come about in your lives that are going to demand all your strength, time and effort. The time for grieving will have passed. And by embracing it now while it is still with you will keep you from feeling guilty later, when things get quiet again. The getting thru is better than getting around or over it. And your living isn’t done yet.
Try looking up the definition of celebrate, Holidays and honor to get a perspective on what you want your holidays to be. And how can you best honor your loved ones, {passed and present}and yourself. I am sure you know what these words mean, but reading the definition helps restore clarity. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and as the cards I sent out this year said;” May the true gifts of the season Love, Hope and Peace be yours.”
I just read the posts written in November. I am much farther away from the initial shock of the passing of loved ones then most of you seem to be. I have lost my Father, Mother, Step Father, all of my grand parents, a nephew, and I am at present losing a close cousin I grew up with to the end of her cancer battle, and a younger brother to muscular dystrophy. And wanted to pass on a little wisdom experience has taught me.
Take the time you have now to grieve for your lost loved ones and embrace it. Life does go on and you will soon realize that there are many things that are going to come about in your lives that are going to demand all your strength, time and effort. The time for grieving will have passed. And by embracing it now while it is still with you will keep you from feeling guilty later, when things get quiet again. The getting thru is better than getting around or over it. And your living isn’t done yet.
Try looking up the definition of celebrate, Holidays and honor to get a perspective on what you want your holidays to be. And how can you best honor your loved ones, {passed and present}and yourself. I am sure you know what these words mean, but reading the definition helps restore clarity. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and as the cards I sent out this year said;” May the true gifts of the season Love, Hope and Peace be yours.”
Elaine
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scatterbrain
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2008 4:09 pm
Hello All
Wow, these are stories that have taken my breath away. I kept reading and reading and wondered how I could meet you all. I too have had many losses in my life and wonder why though. I lost my father to cancer and I was by his side, I lost my grandmother, my biological mother to cancer, my exhusband was killed in an accident, my old boyfriend that I took care of all through high school, and the list goes on, but the really really hard part is I do not live close to anybody in my family, in fact I am thousands of miles away as they are all on the East Coast. I have several empty chairs on the holidays and looking back at pictures, we are always the ones missing. My father has never met my children because he died before they were born, although, I know he looks down on them with happy eyes. My mother is sick and too far away from me. She was just visiting me, had a mild heart attack, I took care of her, called the ambulance, and she was in the hospital here, then too only have her want to "go home" which I can understand there's no place like home, but I felt lost even more so, when she got on that plane.
anyway, I guess I am saying I can relate (I think) to you all and I want you to know from the bottom of my heart, you are an inspiration and I will be thinking of each and every one of you over these holidays.
Wow, these are stories that have taken my breath away. I kept reading and reading and wondered how I could meet you all. I too have had many losses in my life and wonder why though. I lost my father to cancer and I was by his side, I lost my grandmother, my biological mother to cancer, my exhusband was killed in an accident, my old boyfriend that I took care of all through high school, and the list goes on, but the really really hard part is I do not live close to anybody in my family, in fact I am thousands of miles away as they are all on the East Coast. I have several empty chairs on the holidays and looking back at pictures, we are always the ones missing. My father has never met my children because he died before they were born, although, I know he looks down on them with happy eyes. My mother is sick and too far away from me. She was just visiting me, had a mild heart attack, I took care of her, called the ambulance, and she was in the hospital here, then too only have her want to "go home" which I can understand there's no place like home, but I felt lost even more so, when she got on that plane.
anyway, I guess I am saying I can relate (I think) to you all and I want you to know from the bottom of my heart, you are an inspiration and I will be thinking of each and every one of you over these holidays.