Real Confidence / Self Esteem Issues?

[pearpickinporky]

Before I begin can I begin by saying this program has been a god send it terms of curing my anxiety, Since finishing the program I have been able to do things I thought I never would like flying for example. But one problem still remains, my self esteem issues.

I think it all stems from various factors like when I was young I had really bad eczema, I always got made fun of by other kids, add to that I had very unsuportive parents, I don't think they have ever said one suportive thing about me.

Poor self esteem has effected every part of my life, from my job to the woman I married, I am very much an underachiever, I did well at school yet have always been in dead end jobs, My wife while she is a nice woman she is like me, I married her as I thought I could do no better and she done the same to me. I can remember once getting beat up through no fault of my own, I just was in the wrong place at the wrong time, I just lay and took it, I somehow felt like I deserved and it was pointless even trying to fight back as the other guy was better than me. Or even at work the guys will play pranks or take the mickey, They are just playing and I know that but I just take it as I am to scared to do anything else.

I would say I have 0 self esteem what so ever and am painfully shy, hardly surprising I developed anxiety and agoraphobia, and while they are away at the min unless I get my self esteem sorted they could easily return at anytime.

I'd appreciate some advice.

[Guest]

I'm so sorry for how you feel about yourself and can relate very well to some of the reasons. I too have suffered from low self esteem and still do. I also was teased when i was young because of a scar I have from removal of a birthmark when I was 5 years old. I also never felt loved by my mother and could never please her from when I was about 12 years old so I feel this caused my lack of self esteem.

It's a tough issue to get over but if it's worked on and we can forgive the crulelty of those who hurt us that is a huge step towards feeling better about ourselves. Kids can be so cruel to each other but we aren't kids anymore. You have to find a way to let the past go as we can't change what has already taken place. you will feel so powerfull once you let it stop eating at you. I truly feel this is a starting point that will help you the most right now.
It's good that you vented here and are in a way setting all those feelings free.
Write them all down each time they come into your mind and then rip the paper up and toss it in the trash. i did this and really found it helped me to get over any pain from my childhood.

You have nothing to lose but pain...right!!!

I wish you all that will bring you happy and healthy thoughts about yourself. You are a good and kind person worthy of self love.

God bless.

[Guest]

I don't have much to add to the excellent reply you already have, but I will add my thinking about this issue. We are all unique individuals. We are a composite of all that we have been through and how we have managed the thoughts, events and product of our lives. We are not the composite of what anyone else says. That stuff is simply the chatter from their own minds, and more often than not that chatter resembles what they think of themselves (they are just sharing those thoughts with you, and sometimes, trying to get rid of those thoughts by putting them off on you). If you can learn to trust and believe in yourself, you will gradually discover your self esteem. No, it isn't easy. But if any one set of skills can help you get there, it is this program.

I wish you success in finding yourself.