Oh and a warning, this will probably get long lol
I was thinking the other night, on my way home from work, about how quickly I can turn a positive thought & feeling into a negative thought & feeling and of course with that the feelings of fear & panic come barreling in. It also dawned on me how I do this so easily, so quickly and how I lose that positive, calm feeling and replace it with fear & panic. It's like I don't even have to try anymore, my brain just automatically clicks over. The more I thought about this the more I felt like there was an answer in all of that for me, but I had to really dig for it for a sec ~ I actually started talking outloud to myself lol Going over what I was discovering because I could FEEL that there was something really important in this .. well then it hit me!
It's so simple!! WHY didn't any of this occur to me before? I know that starting this program has me thinking in ways that I probably wouldn't otherwise, and that is good. But it was then that I realized how important it is that I re-train my brain and myself to do exactly the opposite of what I'm doing now. It also made me realize how my own throught process is what put me in this situation today! I mean, I had heard this and I heare the program talking about it, but hearing something and TRULY believing it is a completley different thing, ya know?
What I need to do is learn how to pull a positive thought & feeling just as quickly & easily, as I do a negative & that the more I do this the more it'll become who I am, and how my brain naturally behaves. And so the saying goes ~ for every action there is an equal & opposite reaction!! I mean, I KNOW all of this is obvious simple stuff, but I don't know, I never really thought about it like this until now and the difference in how I feel is amazing! I'm far from "remember when" BUT each day I get closer.
Sooo I've made myself a goal after I thought about all of this, and what it meant to me. In order to help myself re-train (along with the program of course) I am going to sit down twice a day, every single day, once in the AM and once in the PM and perhaps even when I'm struggling, if it's possible. I'm going to sit down for 5-10 mintues or so and I'm going to think about, and write about positive things, things that bring that warm, calm, peaceful feeling to my chest & soul, (a sort of gratitude journal I guess you could call it) and I'm going to hold onto that feeling, remember it, and tell myself that THIS is what I want to feel and think of when something negative comes to mind. I am going to do this for 21 days ~ just like I'm doing my 21 day relaxation cd challenge. Once I reach 21 days, I will decide what I will do from there.
For anyone who is up to the challenge, I encourage you to do the same!
