Being broke is killing me
Hi everyone. I am 23 years old and I live with my boyfriend Nick. I work at Starbucks. My store closed down so they had to transfer me to another store. I miss my old store very much. I suffer with panic disorder, GAD, and depression. I am on week 8 or 9 of my anti-depressants (Thank GOD!!!!!) and take Ativan as well. Anyway, I have so many hospital and Dr. bills that I simply cannot afford so they will probably go into collections I assume if they're already not in there. It's sad because all the reasons of going to the hospital and dr was because of my anxiety problems. If i never had this disorder I wouldn't have debt. My job is pretty terrible. I make nothing and i have to help my BF with the rent and utilities and i am finding us fight more and more about how i dont make enough money and need a new job. Well, I applied and applied and went to interviews for jobs and one of them I got but it turned out to be an extremely SLEAZY place and i was like the only one who spoke English. The Boss's were sexually harassing girls and none of them seemed to mind. I was out of there in 2 hours. I left feeling so disappointed and like a loser. Why can't I find a decent job? I don't have money to go back to college. My parents are good people but never had me as priority on there list of thing to take care of. I see how my bf's parents take care of him and they have helped us out tremendously but my bf is getting upset that I cant turn to anyone for help. It's so depressing and I am seeing myself slip into my depression again because of this. I don't know what to do! ! ! I feel stuck. I have no one to turn to. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Is there a way I can borrow money from my bank? I don't know. I'm just so upset that money can cause depression. . . and happiness too.. .
"Come to me, all who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)"
Holly,
I know exactly how you feel. I am currently delivering pizzas part-time. I quit my job in April cause I hated it and it was making my depression much worse. Delivering pizzas is actually good money and not very difficult if you are a good driver and can read a find places.
I have been taking Prozac for several years. Finding a good job has always been a challenge for me. I do not have the stress of a relationship but I do get a little pressure from family members.
The program and these forums along with the chatroom have helped me a lot.
I would advise against trying to borrow money. Medical places are happy with even 10 a month. Do like I do about the callers. Learn their numbers and do not answer the phone unless you want to tell them you will send what you can and try to ask them to leave you alone.
I'm sorry your parents aren't any help. It can be very difficult to even ask and it can be difficult to get them to help.
Maybe you own some things you could sell, cut things from your budget, lower car insurance, raise deductibles, yard sale, look for part time work. I imagine you have thought of all of these but I just thought I would offer some advice.
Hang tough and never surrender.
Don
I know exactly how you feel. I am currently delivering pizzas part-time. I quit my job in April cause I hated it and it was making my depression much worse. Delivering pizzas is actually good money and not very difficult if you are a good driver and can read a find places.
I have been taking Prozac for several years. Finding a good job has always been a challenge for me. I do not have the stress of a relationship but I do get a little pressure from family members.
The program and these forums along with the chatroom have helped me a lot.
I would advise against trying to borrow money. Medical places are happy with even 10 a month. Do like I do about the callers. Learn their numbers and do not answer the phone unless you want to tell them you will send what you can and try to ask them to leave you alone.
I'm sorry your parents aren't any help. It can be very difficult to even ask and it can be difficult to get them to help.
Maybe you own some things you could sell, cut things from your budget, lower car insurance, raise deductibles, yard sale, look for part time work. I imagine you have thought of all of these but I just thought I would offer some advice.
Hang tough and never surrender.
Don
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shellymldtw
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 2:06 pm
Hi HollyJ:
I can totally relate to your situation. I have alot of debt also and its just one more thing to add to my depression and axiety. I have doctor bills that have already went to collection and credit card debt that I can't seem to keep up with. My credit card debt is my fault - whenever I was really feeling down I would go buy something to make myself feel better and have something to look forward too even though I knew I couldnt' afford it. Now I'm justing living paycheck to paycheck. If my BF new about it he would be very angry. My family don't have much money either so I can't go to them for help and I can't get a loan because my credit is so bad. So I know how you feel.
If your credit isn't bad or if you have something you could use as a collatoral you could probably get a loan to help you out.
I can totally relate to your situation. I have alot of debt also and its just one more thing to add to my depression and axiety. I have doctor bills that have already went to collection and credit card debt that I can't seem to keep up with. My credit card debt is my fault - whenever I was really feeling down I would go buy something to make myself feel better and have something to look forward too even though I knew I couldnt' afford it. Now I'm justing living paycheck to paycheck. If my BF new about it he would be very angry. My family don't have much money either so I can't go to them for help and I can't get a loan because my credit is so bad. So I know how you feel.
If your credit isn't bad or if you have something you could use as a collatoral you could probably get a loan to help you out.
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goodwillchic
- Posts: 31
- Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2008 11:59 pm
Holly J,
Yup...there are move of us out there.
For the first time in my life I am carrying a balance on my credit card. It's because my fiance and I decided to quit our jobs and move across the country so he could pursue his dream. For the last seven months I have been the sole source of money. Before I found a job and when we ran out of what we saved for the move, we had to move to using credit cards and then I took some money out of a mutual fund I have (which I HATED to do)
We used to fight all the time about it. After starting this program though I realized that fighting because of the stress solved nothing - nada. What I needed what to dissolve it or resolve it.
So I sat down with my fiance and told him that as long as he wasn't working, he'd have to pick up the houshold chores because I can't/won't do it all. That helped a lot.
Also, I decided rather than stick my head in the sand about our financial situation, I had to DO something. Since I'm not in the position to ask for a raise right now this meant some serious budgeting. We don't eat meat (it's too dang expensive), we don't have TV (we do Netflix for entertainment), we use wireless cable internet and just connect when there's a signal (I'll admit it isn't the most secure thing to do, but hey...at least it isn't costing me anything), we combine driving trips to save on gas and buy off brand items. This leaves enough to pay a little bit on our credit cards each month and even put a smidge into savings.
I also just discovered that my online banking provides a budget tool (Wells Fargo Bank) that is awesome! You just enter in your total income for the month then estimate the amount you spend in each category then it tells you if you are spending more than you make. Then you adjust your budget to make sure you are spending within your means. Then (and this is what makes it great) it categorizes all your purchases (besides checks and cash because the computer can't recognize what item you bought with the check or cash...but you can go in afterwards and categorize it yourself) and you can check on it throughout the month to see if you are sticking to your budget. It's not perfect, like I have to go in a re-categorize some items because it considers Netflix an automatic debit but I have it categorized under Entertainment...but it's really easy to switch. Now, for example, I can see if I'm close to reaching my monthly gas budget. If I am than I know I can only drive when absolutely necessary.
You may want to switch to Wells Fargo or find out if your current bank offers something like this. You can even print out your spending for the lifetime of your account and see exactly where your money is going. It will really help you take control of your budget and not feel so helpless.
I think there are even free credit consultation places you can call. Good luck...for all of us
Yup...there are move of us out there.
For the first time in my life I am carrying a balance on my credit card. It's because my fiance and I decided to quit our jobs and move across the country so he could pursue his dream. For the last seven months I have been the sole source of money. Before I found a job and when we ran out of what we saved for the move, we had to move to using credit cards and then I took some money out of a mutual fund I have (which I HATED to do)
We used to fight all the time about it. After starting this program though I realized that fighting because of the stress solved nothing - nada. What I needed what to dissolve it or resolve it.
So I sat down with my fiance and told him that as long as he wasn't working, he'd have to pick up the houshold chores because I can't/won't do it all. That helped a lot.
Also, I decided rather than stick my head in the sand about our financial situation, I had to DO something. Since I'm not in the position to ask for a raise right now this meant some serious budgeting. We don't eat meat (it's too dang expensive), we don't have TV (we do Netflix for entertainment), we use wireless cable internet and just connect when there's a signal (I'll admit it isn't the most secure thing to do, but hey...at least it isn't costing me anything), we combine driving trips to save on gas and buy off brand items. This leaves enough to pay a little bit on our credit cards each month and even put a smidge into savings.
I also just discovered that my online banking provides a budget tool (Wells Fargo Bank) that is awesome! You just enter in your total income for the month then estimate the amount you spend in each category then it tells you if you are spending more than you make. Then you adjust your budget to make sure you are spending within your means. Then (and this is what makes it great) it categorizes all your purchases (besides checks and cash because the computer can't recognize what item you bought with the check or cash...but you can go in afterwards and categorize it yourself) and you can check on it throughout the month to see if you are sticking to your budget. It's not perfect, like I have to go in a re-categorize some items because it considers Netflix an automatic debit but I have it categorized under Entertainment...but it's really easy to switch. Now, for example, I can see if I'm close to reaching my monthly gas budget. If I am than I know I can only drive when absolutely necessary.
You may want to switch to Wells Fargo or find out if your current bank offers something like this. You can even print out your spending for the lifetime of your account and see exactly where your money is going. It will really help you take control of your budget and not feel so helpless.
I think there are even free credit consultation places you can call. Good luck...for all of us
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cuttingirl
- Posts: 73
- Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:51 am
Wow goodwillchic! You are going to win with money, it is only a matter of time. Kudos to you for good old fashioned common sense and responsible budgeting. I am working on myself; debt is overwhelming.Originally posted by goodwillchic:
Holly J,
Yup...there are move of us out there.
For the first time in my life I am carrying a balance on my credit card. It's because my fiance and I decided to quit our jobs and move across the country so he could pursue his dream. For the last seven months I have been the sole source of money. Before I found a job and when we ran out of what we saved for the move, we had to move to using credit cards and then I took some money out of a mutual fund I have (which I HATED to do)
We used to fight all the time about it. After starting this program though I realized that fighting because of the stress solved nothing - nada. What I needed what to dissolve it or resolve it.
So I sat down with my fiance and told him that as long as he wasn't working, he'd have to pick up the houshold chores because I can't/won't do it all. That helped a lot.
Also, I decided rather than stick my head in the sand about our financial situation, I had to DO something. Since I'm not in the position to ask for a raise right now this meant some serious budgeting. We don't eat meat (it's too dang expensive), we don't have TV (we do Netflix for entertainment), we use wireless cable internet and just connect when there's a signal (I'll admit it isn't the most secure thing to do, but hey...at least it isn't costing me anything), we combine driving trips to save on gas and buy off brand items. This leaves enough to pay a little bit on our credit cards each month and even put a smidge into savings.
I also just discovered that my online banking provides a budget tool (Wells Fargo Bank) that is awesome! You just enter in your total income for the month then estimate the amount you spend in each category then it tells you if you are spending more than you make. Then you adjust your budget to make sure you are spending within your means. Then (and this is what makes it great) it categorizes all your purchases (besides checks and cash because the computer can't recognize what item you bought with the check or cash...but you can go in afterwards and categorize it yourself) and you can check on it throughout the month to see if you are sticking to your budget. It's not perfect, like I have to go in a re-categorize some items because it considers Netflix an automatic debit but I have it categorized under Entertainment...but it's really easy to switch. Now, for example, I can see if I'm close to reaching my monthly gas budget. If I am than I know I can only drive when absolutely necessary.
You may want to switch to Wells Fargo or find out if your current bank offers something like this. You can even print out your spending for the lifetime of your account and see exactly where your money is going. It will really help you take control of your budget and not feel so helpless.
I think there are even free credit consultation places you can call. Good luck...for all of us
HollyJ- Not only do you have a financial crisis but also an income crisis. What other jobs can you do or add to what you are currently doing? Look into a credit consultation but be careful there are many scams out there. Make sure it is non-profit. Consumer Credit Counseling has a good track record. And, for a dose of personal finance try Dave Ramsey, there is a website, a couple of books, a radio show, a program on Fox Business News.
"I have lived a horrible life, none of which has actually happened"-Winston Churchill
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angela52884
- Posts: 33
- Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 10:04 am
Dont worry! There are many people out there with money issues. I know that part of my stress is because of money. I am 5 months pregnant and stay at home with my 3 year old son. I am starting school again in Jan, so in between that and being pregnant I really cant work. I just keep telling myself if we can make it thru December then we have taxes to look forward to and Im sure we will be using that to catch up on some things. I have had some things go into collections recently also and it drives me nuts but there really isnt anything I can do!! My house payment and utilities are always priority!!! I does suck because I dont want to screw my credit up, but it will heal in time and I just have to do what I can!!